Video

Toxic Tuesday: The Great Porn Experiment

Porn alters the brain: Bad news

If/when you stop using porn the brain can heal over time: Good news.

I’ve seen this TEDx lecture by Gary Wilson circulating over the last month and every time I think, “I’ll post this on my blog”. Today is the day.

When discussing sensitive topics I like to give a warning: This could be a trigger for different people in different ways. For the abused it could trigger painful thoughts or body memories. For the porn user it could trigger temptation.

There is a brief picture of women in bikinis at one point in the lecture/video.

I hope that every person who has access to the internet watches this video because Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard smallsooner or later porn will likely rock your world. Porn is everywhere; especially soft-core, and it’s impossible to not have it turn up somewhere before your eyes. It’s not impossible to look away. Watch this video for clarification as to why we must look away and teach our children the importance in doing the same.

 

In Defense of Lysa TerKeurst

This is in response to some of the backlash I have read against Lysa TerKeurst over the last few weeks regarding her decision to pursue divorce.

I recently posted a letter written by Lysa TerKeurst, “Rejection, Heartache, and a LysaFaithful God,” posted 6/13/17.  Lysa is a popular women’s ministry leader and teacher, and she is a New York Times bestselling author. Her ministry, Proverbs 31 Ministries, is named after the chapter reference in the Bible of the well-known passage depicting what a virtuous woman looks like. If you’ve ever checked out my list of favorite blogs in the margin (header or footer depending on which digital platform you use) you know I’ve had Proverbs 31 there since I began blogging in August 2013.

In all fairness, I’ve read more comments in support of Lysa than against. Yet I’m not sure why some in the Christian community are shocked by the news, and saddened or enraged that Lysa decided to pursue divorce.

Lysa had the right to walk away from infidelity and to publicly name the reasons, biblical reasons, why she was choosing to file divorce proceedings.

“My husband, life partner and father of my children, Art TerKeurst, has been repeatedly unfaithful to me with a woman he met online, bringing an end to our marriage of almost 25 years….I don’t share this to harm or embarrass him, but to help explain why I have decided to separate from him and pursue a divorce.”                     ~Lysa TerKeurst

I’m sure she was well aware that some in the Christian community would take the opportunity to verbally shred her over the airwaves, in the blogosphere, and on podcasts. Many Christians believe Christians should not divorce—ever!

I especially notice this in legalistic backgrounds and those deeply engrained in the patriarchal movement.

I ascribe to the Biblical grounds that God allows for divorce under specific circumstances. I consider divorce a merciful gift from our gift-giving Heavenly Father for a spouse enduring unfaithfulness, a spouse’s addiction and/or abuse.  (I’m yet to hear of a pornography addiction that didn’t fuel verbal and emotional abuse.)

I’ve also read excerpts of Lysa’s letter picked apart and spun in different ways. As a woman who was in ministry, and who divorced a pastor, I’ll add my commentary to the mix.

Lysa writes,

“I so wish we were sitting face-to-face so you could see my tears and hear the deep grief in my voice as I share this with you.”

It took courage and I imagine hours heaped upon hours of Bible study, prayer, and professional counseling, topped off with immeasurable puddles of tears for Lysa to reach the conclusion to file for divorce. I’ve personally never known a sister-in-Christ who made this decision quickly, thoughtlessly, or gladly. It’s just not an emotionally healthy woman’s nature. We are nurturing, long-suffering, forgiving, and abounding in providing extra chances for the offender to make things right.

Even if Lysa didn’t have deep grief, or was past that stage, she would still receive my compassion and prayer support for choosing to divorce her unfaithful husband who was also not seeking healing for substance abuse issues.

Next, she writes about her commitment to marriage:

“Anyone who knows me and Proverbs 31 Ministries knows how seriously I take marriage. I’ve always encouraged women to fight for their marriages and to do everything possible to save them when they come under threat.”

I believe her.  It takes the commitment of two people to get married, but only one person to break the vow. Lysa learned like many of us that one person is not capable of fighting the battle alone to save a relationship between two people who both have the free will to choose. We are not the Holy Spirit and cannot convict the unfaithful spouse of their error/sin. Even the Holy Spirt won’t make them do what they don’t want to do. It only takes one person to abuse, abandon, and destroy the marriage. I know Lysa took her marriage covenant seriously and earnestly wrestled through her husband’s infidelity.  If she is anything like me she refused to give up or give in until she knew she had done everything humanly possible to save her marriage while waiting on God and waiting on Art. After all, as Christians we know God can provide the healing and restoration…but here’s the catch: both people must desire it. In the end, Art didn’t desire it and he made a choice. Lysa simply decided to make Art’s abandonment of their family legally official.

Lysa also mentioned the effort she put into trying to “save” her marriage after discovering her husband’s infidelity 18 months prior. 

She concludes:

“But sadly, though I have repeatedly forgiven and accepted him back, he has continued to abuse substances, be unfaithful, and refused to be truthful to me and our family.”

She went above and beyond to give Art time to repent, heal, and restore their relationship even though she was not biblically responsible for doing so. He was the cheating party who should have been putting in the time required for the hard work of winning her back to save their marriage and keeping their family intact; as well as, restoring his fellowship with God. Art rejected reconciliation; he broke the marriage vows and refused to stop cheating. Lysa may have been the one to file for divorce but make no mistake; he is the one who first left and his choices led to divorce.

 

Moving on…

“After much prayer and consultation with wise, biblically-minded people, I have decided that Art has abandoned our marriage.”

Yes, he did. He also defiled their marriage bed and broke his covenant between him, Lysa, and God. 

I understand and agree with Lysa that her husband abandoned their marriage. If only it were a past action that could be filed away. For those who haven’t lived through betrayal you should realize…it is an ongoing, active trauma that continually violates a woman’s heart, soul, mind and strength. The road to healing is long.

I’m grateful for Lysa’s courage and vulnerability to share the facts with her readers, without going in to details, as to why she is choosing divorce.  Lysa strives to be real, even when life is messy or ugly, for the sake of passing on gospel lessons.

“Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” I Thessalonians 2:8

Lysa’s a teacher at heart; with a heart that is broken but still nurturing. Her marriage failed because of her husband’s choices; she did not fail. I believe it’s safe to say this trial has not been fun or easy, but when she comes through on the other side she, because of her faithfulness to God, will see fruit—not just in the circumstance—but in herself.  God knows the fruit is there because He’s already prayed His will over it.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26

Lysa kept her husband’s secrets, endured his unfaithfulness, chanced danger from his substance abuse and possible STDs, loved him, and offered him forgiveness multiple times.

Telling Lysa, or any other betrayed or abused wife, that she should … remain subjected to lies, neglect, cheating, emotional trauma, and probable STDs while loving him and hoping to save their marriage because God hates divorce is not biblically necessary.  I imagine Lysa did that for a time; hoping Art could come through the mess holding his head high with his dignity intact.

I desire for Christians to put away the, “God hates divorce” as the one size fits all quote to prevent a marriage from ending. God hates unnecessary divorce that could be prevented by spouses loving each other, being faithful, and placing each other’s needs above their own. He hates the pain divorce causes each member of the family.

Divorces feels like it will surly kill you when you are suffering through it.

God hates the wounds and the pain caused by divorce…but…God allows divorce in the cases of infidelity and abuse.

Over the last 5 years of ministering to broken women in destructive marriages I have been heart-broken at how quickly the church takes the unfaithful abuser’s side in an attempt to persuade the woman to stay.

Let’s stop assigning damaging words and expectations on the faithful spouse and instead understand their hurt, pray for them, and offer practical help as they walk through the valley of abuse, betrayal, abandonment, and/or divorce.

I’m grateful Lysa will continue to pour her energy and gifts into her ministry, Proverbs 31. I’m thrilled that those around her have not placed blame on her for the wrongs her husband committed against her, nor asked her to step down from ministry. To remove Lysa from ministry and from her current source of income would be revictimization. Her husband’s failure does not damage her character and gifting; in fact, she has been subjected to exemplifying the Proverbs 31 woman in the middle of extreme stress while enduring the public’s eye and a few Christian’s judgementalism. Some Christians believe divorce is sin and should never be used as an option. Others believe that the offended or abused spouse should die to self, take up their cross, and endure more unfaithfulness and/or abuse. God does not place the institution of marriage above the safety, sanity, and health of the victim. He is a God of relationship and he does not expect us to experience the death of our personality, energy, heart, spirit, and strength to appease the offender/abuser and keep the marriage together.

Honestly, I see that the Christian world places more expectations on the innocent victim of the divorce than they do on the offender. Our community of believers tends to want more details so they can verify if you have biblical grounds for divorce.

I sure would like to see this same community hold the unfaithful spouse, or abuser, to the same standard of accountability. Perhaps if they did, the intervention and accountability would have relieved the victim from more heartache and—perhaps—helped to save the marriage.

In the end only One opinion matters—the One who forever calls Lysa worthy.

I’m sure Lysa waited patiently for the Lord, and He allowed her time to work through everything. Through this, Lysa knew she did everything she could to save her marriage and did not prematurely leave.

Did Lysa find what many of us who went before her found? The greater and deeper our emotional trauma; the more intense our spiritual walk becomes. When we are too weak and the problems too big; God supernaturally exerts His power in us resulting in a life of extraordinary growth.

 

“Marriage and family are important to God; just as important to him are the individuals within those marriages.” ~Leslie Vernick, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope

 

For more perspective see: Biblical Permission to Leave a Toxic Spouse 

Lynn Messer 3 Years Later: New Q’s & A’s

 

July 8, marks the third anniversary of the day we were told Lynn Messer Lynn 1disappeared from her home. Interestingly though, I have noticed recent posts on Kerry Messer’s Find Lynn Messer Facebook page changed the date of Lynn’s disappearance from July 8 to July 7. I wonder why?

Lynn vanished from the bed she shared with her husband, Kerry Messer, a Missouri state lobbyist for Christian, Biblical, homeschooling, pro-life and family values.

Kerry told his sons and the authorities that a storm woke him up around 4:00 a.m. and that is when he noticed his wife was missing.

In honor of this three year anniversary let’s help Lynn’s sons with legal and investigative fees to achieve #JusticeforLynn.

Click here to donate: It’s quick and easy.

New questions and answers are at the end of this article.

  • Click on colored text to link to the original published article in below paragraphs.

In the first week media stated that Lynn was reported missing by her husband from the family farm, “When Kerry still couldn’t locate her he became increasingly concerned and called 911 to have the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Department come out to help assist.”  Abram and Aarron Messer, Lynn’s sons, insisted that it was Aarron who placed the call early in the morning, July 8, 2014. The dispatch recording verified Aarron Messer was the person who called law enforcement. 

The public was told, “Evidence at the scene indicates she may be in physical danger.”  

“She has a broken right toe and does not have her walking boot with her. Messer’s purse, cell phone and other personal items were left at her home.”

Law enforcement,  trained dogs, and searchers wearing GPS units searched the entire property. “People wore GPS units on them so we knew what areas we were covering and how dense we were covering them. Once one crew would get done with an area we would send another crew back in the same area with new eyes and different dogs.”

“Messer’s husband had mowed the property and moved the cattle. The sheriff said this becomes a problem for search dogs trying to follow a scent — one dog goes one way while another goes the other.”

During the first days Kerry Messer was quoted, “I could not count the number of specially trained dogs and handlers, all fitted with real-time GPS tracking being fed real-time into a base computer to provide us with a huge map showing the entire path (color coded) of each individual dog throughout the entire day and night.”

”They even reorganized and did a special night-time simultaneous ‘grid search’ in which the entire army of searchers were broken into teams which then swiped the entire farm in small bite-sized pieces.”

“Sadly, this initial search and the outstanding performance of this massive effort produced no fruit other than helping us know with a high probability that Lynn is not physically located on the farm.”

A month after Lynn had been missing Kerry Messer addressed Lynn’s medications in the media.

“The only thing we have got to go on is that her prescribed pain medication could have had an adverse effect on her mind.”

Kerry hopes that it will help others to understand that they may not be looking for someone who knows she is Lynn Messer. He believes that it’s the only real explanation.

“All we know is that the pain pills your doctor prescribed can have a severe reaction, causing you to be totally confused. We fear that you may not even know for sure who you are.

“This confusion can lead you to be fearful of people around you and cause you not to trust anyone. It can also lead you to go places without understanding why you are there.

Sheriff Gary Stolzer. Ste. Genevieve Sheriff County:  We have sent computers off and different things to have tested and analyzed by other people, but the case is just taking its course. We will continue to look into any leads we receive.” 

During these numerous interviews, and in Kerry’s long letters on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page, he actively reminds the public of his suffering, loneliness, and struggles while missing Lynn. In fact he still writes about his shredded heart over missing Lynn.

What has been frustrating to Kerry’s sons, Lynn’s family and friends, and those who have followed the story is that law enforcement found out just weeks after Lynn ‘disappeared’ that Kerry was already in another relationship with a woman named Spring Thomas. Spring had been a family friend for many years and according to Abram and Aarron Messer there was, and is, more to the relationship than what is being reported.

A recap of events wouldn’t be complete without mentioning ‘the note’. Kerry showed a note to law enforcement; a note that he said was written by Lynn. Kerry refused to show the note to his sons. “Kerry said in the very beginning, law enforcement asked him not to talk about the letter. He didn’t understand why, but just complied. Kerry said he avoided talking about it and the few people he had already told he went to and asked them to not say anything because they wanted to honor what law enforcement had requested.”

According to Abram and Aarron, “for the first 11 months the police refused to allow anyone to see the note. I understand investigators need to withhold information but this was not the case. As they had shared with me, they had refused to show us the note because Kerry asked them not too.”

Lynn’s remains were discovered early November, 2016, on Kerry Messer’s farm property.

At this date forensics tests have concluded that Lynn has been in the elements, in that spot, about the entire time, and hair follicles showed no evidence of a cause of death. 

I, Carolyn, spoke with Detective White of the Ste. Genevieve Sheriff’s Department on Monday, July 3. He was generous with his time and answered the below questions for me.

I will present them in question/answer form.

Q: Were Lynn’s recovered remains a complete skeleton?  Were there any remains missing?

A: They were consistent with remains that have been in the elements since 2014.

Q: When I spoke with you this time last year you confirmed that Kerry Messer was no longer cooperating with law enforcement. Is this still true?

A: We are not in contact with him and have not reached out to him. We were told last year that he no longer wanted to speak to law enforcement and we have respected his wishes. He did cooperate when Lynn’s remains were found on his property. He could have required us to have a search warrant but he didn’t.

Q: Does this also mean you have no contact with Spring Thomas?

A: Yes

Q: Do you know if law enforcement has been able to search Spring Thomas’ house and property?

A:  I do know, but cannot say. I will say I have not seen the inside of her house.

Q: Kerry Messer has changed, or authorized the change, for the Find Lynn Messer Facebook cover photo. It now says his “page is the only official family and authority-sanctioned page.”  I think most people equate authority with law enforcement. Has law enforcement sanctioned this page?  I’m concerned about what this implies. Could Kerry be referring to law enforcement when he references ‘authority-sanctioned’?

A: No,  we don’t sanction anything.

Q: Has Kerry Messer been cleared of the investigation into Lynn’s death?

A: No, he has not.

Q: The death certificate currently reads, “Undetermined.” Could this status change in the future?

A: A cause of death will not be stated until the investigation is closed.

And lastly, to hear “We won’t stop until we determine what caused Lynn’s death.”  Spoken by Major Jason Schott of the Ste. Genevieve Sheriff’s Department in an interview last week had me thinking there is evidence. Now we just wait on timing for the investigative puzzle pieces to fit together.

I doubt Lynn disappeared from her own bed on a stormy night only to be found dead two years later in an area that was professionally searched by search and rescue dogs, helicopters, and searchers wearing GPS units to map/grid where they had searched.  A woman whose hair samples showed no evidence of a cause of death. As far as we know there were no weapons found with her. What happened to Lynn?

In honor of this three year anniversary let’s help Lynn’s sons with legal and investigative fees to achieve #JusticeforLynn.

Click here to donate: It’s quick and easy.

 

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin or header for more articles.

Lynn Messer: Care and Share

Do you remember the first time you heard about Lynn’s disappearance? I do, and it captured my interest and heart from the get-go.  Obviously it captured yours too. You have been passionate about truth, caring toward the family, and waiting for answers.

I’ve blogged 45 times about Lynn’s story over the last year to help keep this mystery in Lynn 1the public’s eye, to honor her memory, and to tell her story through the voice of her sons and their families.

I’ve heard from many of you over the last year. I appreciate that some of you have considered what you may know, through hind sight, and been willing to talk to law enforcement about your knowledge.

As the 3rd anniversary of Lynn’s disappearance/death approaches, it’s time for her family to find closure and truth as to how her life ended. Law enforcement has worked countless hours and I imagine the investigation is on their minds even in their off duty hours.  The sheriff’s office continues to investigate while the FBI runs forensics tests; looking for a cause of death so they can determine if they need to take the investigation in a different direction, or if crime was committed.  

For the family, retaining an attorney and/or an investigator of their own will help them navigate the process.  An upfront cost of $40,000 was quoted for this extensively involved case; a major expense that most people can’t fund from their own bank accounts. So…let’s ALL do this together.  Let’s unify, donate, and help bring ongoing questions to an end…for Lynn, for her loved ones, and for her legacy.

A donation of $10 per reader will help them reach the goal of paying a lawyer’s retainer fee. If you can’t do $10, do whatever you can afford.

Thank you for your loving, generous support donated on behalf of Lynn’s family. May they soon have the answers for which they’ve been waiting.  

Won’t it feel good to know you were able to participate in their journey, and in Lynn’s justice!

Please forward this link, on social media or by email, and help urgently share this need.

The YOUCARING compassionate fundraising website is quick and easy using a credit card or PayPal. I have made donations on this sight in the past, and to #JusticeForLynn, and can testify that it is professional and safe for your financial transaction.

*Note:  YOUCARING will give you a box to make a donation to the family, and a separate box to make a donation to YOUCARING. You many enter any denomination in the YOUCARING donation field;—including 0.00

 

DONATE by clicking here: YOUCARING fundraising #JusticeForLynn 

Lynn YOUCARING

Organized by concerned friends. Fundraising website graciously set up by Cheryl Summers.

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin or header for more articles.

Quote

Lynn Messer: Media Release Statement, Letter to the Sheriff, Kerry changes FLM page

Above photo: Some of Lynn’s favorite flowers were dark red roses

For those of you who have followed the Lynn Messer case I am posting her son Abram Messer’s statement which he released to the media today. (If you are new to this case you may click  “Lynn Messer” in the margin or header; depending on the media platform you use.)

Abram Messer 1

Photo Credit: J.B. Forbes, St. Louis Post Dispatch

PRESS RELEASE: DISCLAIMER: This press release is Abrams opinion. I will preface it with he thinks this, but it has not been proven and no arrest has been made.  Please recognize that their memories of the events described in this press release may differ. 

So as many of you are aware, I’ve been getting calls from media outlets in light of the information we received yesterday. Here is the statement which I have released:

“Our family is both saddened and heartbroken over the actions that my father has chosen.

No one should be surprised at the devastation which comes from choosing sin. But God is faithful and just to cleanse, forgive and restore us through the blood of the Lamb. He is also a God of justice, and we will stay the course in seeking that justice. So we are renewing our call in begging my father to come clean, and tell the truth so he can experience the peace which only comes through Gods forgiveness.”

There are many Christians who have deliberately decided to twist the Word of God only talking about forgiveness, choosing to ignore Gods commands for His people to be a people who pursue justice…. my friends this has nothing to do with vengeance. We are commanded by God Himself to stand for truth. We are commanded by God Himself to call out sin publicly (after we follow the Biblical steps confronting that sin privately; which yes we have done), no matter how much it hurts. 

Why? Because whatever pain and heartbreak we experience through out that process-—it is nothing compared to the spiritual pain and heartache which comes from complacency.

Please continue to lift our family up before the Throne of Grace. He is faithful… and I must decrease so that He will increase. Whatever you may be going through in your life remember that God is faithful and just to cleanse and forgive. But to receive His forgiveness and restoration we must all acknowledge our sin before Him. His long suffering love which He extends to us has limits which only He can define—for rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. Repent, turn to Christ—only then will you experience His peace and rest. For when we plant our feet upon The Rock… there is no storm which can shake you.

LETTER TO THE SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT AND ATTORNEY GENERAL’S OFFICE (From one of the GiveMe Chocolate readers who commented on the article “Lynn Messer Secretly Transported Across State Lines and Buried”

Last night, I sent this to the St. Genevieve County Sheriff, Major Schott and copied the Attorney General’s office.

“I am highly concerned about the lack of activity surrounding the disappearance – and now we know – death of Lynn Messer. Based on the publicly available information, it would seem that Kerry Messer was most certainly involved somehow in her death. I can only assume that law enforcement has even more information pointing in his direction. Nearly three years after her disappearance and nearly a year after the discovery of her body, we still have no action being taken toward Mr. Messer. It would seem that the Sheriff’s department did not adequately search the property in those early days or that the body was subsequently brought to the property after it was searched. Either way, action is called for here.

Today, I’ve learned that the St. Genevieve County coroner released the body to Mr. Messer only to have him take it over state lines into Arkansas without the knowledge of Lynn’s sons, sisters or mother. It would seem that the Sheriff’s department as the lead investigative agency would have certainly known that the body was going to be released and understanding the circumstances, they could have let Lynn’s family members know what was about to take place. These family members could have sought injunctive relief to block the release of the body to Kerry given the high level of suspicion surrounding him and his lack of honesty with Lynn’s family members as well as his reported lack of cooperation – and his girlfriend’s lack of cooperation – with the investigation. Unfortunately, St. Genevieve County didn’t afford Lynn’s family this option. That adds another layer of tragedy upon an already tragic situation.

I called Carl Kinskey’s office several months ago about the progress on the investigation and he said he was just waiting on the Sheriff’s department. Why hasn’t information been sent over to the prosecuting attorney’s office? Where’s the grand jury? Is this an open investigation at this time? I certainly hope that the Sheriff’s office isn’t withholding information from the prosecuting attorney’s office waiting for some kind of air tight case to develop in this very bizarre circumstance. I urge you to send the information you have on the investigation to the prosecuting attorney. “

 

Find Lynn Messer page update…

Did anyone else notice? Kerry changed the “Find Lynn Messer” Facebook page cover photo. It now says the page is “authority-sanctioned.” The sheriff’s office confirmed to me a year ago that Kerry and Spring have not been cooperating with the investigation since their relationship was revealed to investigators. Which authorities is Kerry referring to?

The same cover photo says Lynn is missing as of 7/8/14. Why did Kerry not include that she was found?

authority sanctioned

And here is what Kerry Messer has to say about the ongoing investigation:

 

Click here to link to the full length news segment/video:… 

 

Click here to support #JusticeForLynn Messer Fundraiser for legal and investigative fees

Below is yesterday’s post:

Lynn Messer secretly transported across state lines and buried

Kerry Messer secretly transported Lynn’s remains across state lines for burial.

Aarron, Abram, and Elizabeth contacted family members this morning so they heard it from them first instead of from media.

Rumors have been circulating for the last 2-3 weeks that Lynn’s remains were going to be released to Kerry Messer in the near future. Kerry has posted on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page that he intended to obtain Lynn’s remains soon.

My sources told me that Kerry informed his church First Baptist Church Festus/Crystal City that he in fact obtained her remains and buried them yesterday.  Lynn’s remains rest next to Grandma Messer. According to the funeral home a pastor was present at the grave side service; along with, Kerry, an unnamed woman, and two of Kerry’s relatives who were named.

Lynn’s sons had remained hopeful that as long as the investigation was ongoing their mom’s remains would not be released. They have reached out to investigators but do not yet have answers.

Aarron spoke with his dad, Kerry Messer, on two separate occasions this morning and this is what Aarron says transpired:

Aarron: “I heard that you buried mother yesterday?”

Kerry: “Why do you care?”

Aarron: “She’s my mother.”

Kerry: “And I’m supposed to be your dad.”

Aarron: “You…are…”

According to Aarron, Kerry hung up on him mid-sentence.

Kerry also stated that Lynn was buried by “the only family she has left, that actually love her.”

“This is who supporters of MFN are endorsing.  A man who takes the body of his children’s mother from the coroner in secret and buries her without a word to her own children, her mother, or her sisters; all out of spite because he is the primary suspect in her disappearance and death.”

Lynn’s remains were released from the St. Louis coroner’s office last week and Kerry had her remains transported to Arkansas. They were cleared yesterday and buried the same day. The sheriff’s office did not have a say in how this transpired; it was up to the coroner. The husband, even if he were sitting in jail, has control of the remains.

Was this a controlling, abusive act Kerry committed against his sons and their families?

This is no quick commute for Aarron’s  and Abram’s families, or for Lynn’s side of the family to visit Lynn’s gravesite.  What else can a father do to traumatize his children?

Lynn’s remains rest in Walcott, Arkansas, in Mount Zion Cemetery under the direction of Heath Funeral Home in Paragould, Arkansas.

Like Aarron, I too thought of organizations who continue to retain Kerry as their state lobbyist. Families for Home Education, is this the type of parents you are? Do you treat your own children in this way, or do you consider this highly dysfunctional? Why do you want someone like this representing you?

Make no mistake; Lynn’s remains being released to Kerry Messer in no way indicates he is no longer a part of the investigation into Lynn’s disappearance and death. The case is open and active with new information still being received by the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Office.

 *Correction: Lynn ‘ s remains were released from the Ste. Genevieve County coroner.

 

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin or header for more articles.

 

*Opinions expressed are not from me. There has not been an arrest made in this case and no one is presumed guilty until proven in a court of law.

 

 

Lynn Messer secretly transported across state lines and buried

Lynn

Kerry Messer secretly transported Lynn’s remains across state lines for burial.

Aarron, Abram, and Elizabeth contacted family members this morning so they heard it from them first instead of from media.

Rumors have been circulating for the last 2-3 weeks that Lynn’s remains were going to be released to Kerry Messer in the near future. Kerry has posted on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page that he intended to obtain Lynn’s remains soon.

My sources told me that Kerry informed his church First Baptist Church Festus/Crystal City that he in fact obtained her remains and buried them yesterday.  Lynn’s remains rest next to Grandma Messer. According to the funeral home a pastor was present at the grave side service; along with, Kerry, an unnamed woman, and two of Kerry’s relatives who were named.

Lynn’s sons had remained hopeful that as long as the investigation was ongoing their mom’s remains would not be released. They have reached out to investigators but do not yet have answers.

Aarron spoke with his dad, Kerry Messer, on two separate occasions this morning and this is what Aarron says transpired:

Aarron: “I heard that you buried mother yesterday?”

Kerry: “Why do you care?”

Aarron: “She’s my mother.”

Kerry: “And I’m supposed to be your dad.”

Aarron: “You…are…”

According to Aarron, Kerry hung up on him mid-sentence.

Kerry also stated that Lynn was buried by “the only family she has left, that actually love her.”

“This is who supporters of MFN are endorsing.  A man who takes the body of his children’s mother from the coroner in secret and buries her without a word to her own children, her mother, or her sisters; all out of spite because he is the primary suspect in her disappearance and death.”

Lynn’s remains were released from the St. Louis coroner’s office last week and Kerry had her remains transported to Arkansas. They were cleared yesterday and buried the same day. The sheriff’s office did not have a say in how this transpired; it was up to the coroner. The husband, even if he were sitting in jail, has control of the remains.

Was this a controlling, abusive act Kerry committed against his sons and their families?

This is no quick commute for Aarron’s  and Abram’s families, or for Lynn’s side of the family to visit Lynn’s gravesite.  What else can a father do to traumatize his children?

Lynn’s remains rest in Walcott, Arkansas, in Mount Zion Cemetery under the direction of Heath Funeral Home in Paragould, Arkansas.

The case remains open and active with new information still being received by the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Office.

*Correction: Lynn ‘ s remains were released from the Ste. Genevieve County coroner.

Click here to support the #JusticeForLynn fundraiser

 

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

6 Things Personality Disordered People Do

personality

What do you do when you attempt to understand and be understood by someone with a personality disorder? (narcissistic, borderline, or obsessive compulsive personality disorder) but you’re stonewalled from the onset?

What do you do when you can’t have a conversation because they begin with trying to protect their lies to you and about you, and maintaining their abusive behavior toward you?

Remember: It’s not their fault.

1) They refuse responsibility.  (This is the #1 sign of an abuser. They never accept responsibility; and therefore, never apologize.)

2) They lie.

3) They look down on you.

4) They slander your reputation.

5) They are duplicative (phony).

6) They project (mirror their abuse on to you as if you are the one who committed it).

Abuse is never their fault.  It’s always your fault. Someone’s fault. To them, it’s not their Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard smallfault they hurt or abused you, it’s your fault for being hurt-able…abusable. If your feelings are hurt it’s your fault – for having feelings. You may be told you’re making the choice to feel bad, or hurt, or that you’re being overly sensitive.  If caught doing something insensitive or selfish, they will insist they have no idea what you’re talking about. Or they will mirror the truth of what they did back on you. Crazymaking at its best—gaslighting.  In their mind they had to do it because of someone or something else. If you imply that anything is their responsibility, they give you excuses, lies, and/or denial. From their perspective, you shouldn’t care — you should be willing to put the past behind you and pick-up as if the abuse never happened.

This may sound like a good idea; putting the past in the past. Not bringing it up again and allowing the relationship to continue on as if nothing happened, or with the forgiveness to forget and go on.

Forgiveness in our heart is always healing for the abused person but that doesn’t mean we extend the forgiveness to the abuser in word or deed. If they haven’t confessed, repented, and asked for your forgiveness then God does not require you to verbally extend the forgiveness to them.

Here is the problem with forgiving or forgetting without an apology and a change of heart from the person with narcissistic personality disorder (borderline, or obsessive compulsive personality disorder)…it is the same as telling them: “I’m okay with the way your treat me, the way you lie about me—the way you abuse me. You may continue this treatment and I will continue to allow it.”

You may need to change the dynamics of how you interact with this type of person. Remember: Abuse is not a relationship problem, a communication problem, or a marriage problem. It is an abuse/sin problem. For this reason victims should not receive counseling with their abuser; not even in marriage. The abuser needs serious, long-term, professional help for their abusive nature so they can find the root of it, receive healing, and gain freedom.

 

This is what ANA (After Narcisistic Abuse) has to say about this subject in regard to a narcissist:

“Many mentally disordered individuals project frequently. Narcissists, however, are some of the most actively and severely projecting people encountered. Ever full of accusations and criticisms, the most crazy-making thing about most of the narcissist’s claims is that YOU are doing exactly what THEY are doing. (Projection.) Have they just lied to you? Well, you’re about to be called dishonest. Are they cheating you out of an opportunity? You’re going to get the finger pointed at you for being sneaky. And you can’t say a word to them about something hurtful they have done, because that makes you an abuser – of them. You can’t give them anything but glowing feedback without their raging at you, but you’ll be the one constantly criticized severely and then called freakishly oversensitive if you show any feelings about it. And if they say so, it’s law — you don’t know what you’re talking about.

If you dare to question a narcissist or request things like healthy boundaries and honesty, you’re going to become public enemy number one. The “Mr. or Ms. Wonderful” mask immediately comes off, and there is no level they will not stoop to in order to “punish” you. They have myriad ways of attempting this; some are covert, and some are open and obvious. The narcissist has a seemingly inexhaustible obsession for making people who cross them “pay”. Once they set their sights on you, you’re a permanent enemy, and their seething spite will feel as intense years down the road as it did when it first began. The length of time they can keep up the full intensity of their hatred for you and their campaign to exact revenge is absolutely dumbfounding to non-narcissistic people.”

If you have a personality disorder, or are in a relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder you will likely need ongoing, professional counseling at some point.

My motto is: Wise people; strong  people seek help.

Counseling/therapy is not for “crazy” people. Counseling is for human beings. Don’t let anyone shame you away from receiving the help you need.

See: Solutions-Hotlines-Help, or Articles/Videos: Other Sources in the margin, header or footer of this blog (depending on which digital platform you use).

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Toxic Tuesday: Lysa TerKeurst’s Betrayal

My heart aches for Lysa.Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard small

I suspected this for several months. The  times I listened to Lysa in Bible studies or on pod casts over the last year I wondered if this was the difficult circumstance she was living in of which she couldn’t speak. There are some things so profoundly deep and traumatic that when you hear someone else speaking with such words…your betrayed heart reaches through multi-media and feels their secret soul-hurt.

I realize publication dates precede the release of her letter. I don’t know when it happened or when she made it public, but I’m grateful she was obedient in her calling to write a book and Bible study that would help her, and help others who would go through similar circumstances.

Rejection, Heartache, and a Faithful God

No person’s rejection of me can ever exempt me from God’s love for me.

“A Gut-Honest Look at Love.” That was the title of my first blog post of this year. Based on 1 Corinthians 13, I wrote, “Love isn’t what I have the opportunity to get from this world, love is what I have the opportunity to give.

This perspective on love has been a lifeline during the most painful season and decision of my adult life. I so wish we were sitting face-to-face so you could see my tears and hear the deep grief in my voice as I share this with you. My husband, life partner and father of my children, Art TerKeurst, has been repeatedly unfaithful to me with a woman he met online, bringing an end to our marriage of almost 25 years. For the past couple of years, his life has sadly been defined by his affection for this other woman and substance abuse. I don’t share this to harm or embarrass him, but to help explain why I have decided to separate from him and pursue a divorce. God has now revealed to me that I have done all I can do and I must release him to the Savior.

Continue reading the continuation of Lisa’s letter here….

 

If you find yourself in a season traveling the same road as Lysa you may find her book “Uninvited” at Amazon or Christian Book Distributors (Book, study guide, DVD study, or Audio book)

Uninvited…

The enemy wants us to feel rejected . . . left out, lonely, and less than. When we allow him to speak lies through our rejection, he pickpockets our purpose. Cripples our courage. Dismantles our dreams. And blinds us to the beauty of Christ’s powerful love.

In Uninvited, Lysa shares her own deeply personal experiences with rejection—from the incredibly painful childhood abandonment by her father to the perceived judgment of the perfectly toned woman one elliptical over.

With biblical depth, gut-honest vulnerability, and refreshing wit, Lysa helps readers:

    • Release the desire to fall apart or control the actions of others by embracing God-honoring ways to process their hurt.
    • Know exactly what to pray for the next ten days to steady their soul and restore their confidence.
    • Overcome the two core fears that feed our insecurities by understanding the secret of belonging.
    • Stop feeling left out and start believing that “set apart” does not mean “set aside.”
  • End the cycle of perceived rejection by refusing to turn a small incident into a full blown issue.

 

Continue reading the continuation of Lisa’s letter here….

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Lynn Messer: On Her Birthday

Lynn 4

Today marks Lynn Messer’s 55th birthday. Her last birthday on earth was celebrated a few weeks before her disappearance/death in 2014 at age 52. Today we will honor Lynn’s memory with photos of loved ones, and people she ministered to, who brought her great joy and purpose.

I continue to think of Lynn’s family; especially today as they remember her, miss her, and long for answers surrounding her death.

Please say a prayer for them that they will receive great comfort, clear answers, and Sovereign justice from their Heavenly Father.

Family, friends, and law enforcement are currently waiting for pathology and forensic reports to be completed and turned in to the F.B.I. There is no time line for this testing and the case remains open.

I still remember the morning our local homeschool group was notified that Missouri State Lobbyist, Kerry Messer’s wife, Lynn Messer was reported missing from the family farm in the middle of the night.  Our homeschool group was notified for prayer support and help searching for Lynn. My background of studying domestic abuse immediately sent up a red flag since most women who disappear, or who are murdered, are victims at the hands of their husband or significant other.

Lynn’s husband Kerry runs Missouri Family network which lobbies in Jefferson City for: ALLIANCE FOR LIFE, AMERICANS UNITED FOR LIFE, FAMILIES FOR HOME EDUCATION, MISSOURI ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN CHILD CARE AGENCIES, MISSOURIANS FOR PERSONAL SAFETY (gun safety), and SAMARITAN MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL.

For over two years Lynn’s family did not know where she was or if she was still alive. Her remains were found November, 2016, on the family farm on the far side of the cow pasture that had been in question since Lynn’s scent trail was originally found there by search dogs. The same cow pasture where Kerry Messer insisted his son Abram move the cows in the early morning hours of Lynn’s disappearance before the police had been called. It has been verified by investigators that Abram did not move the cows by choice, but rather at the demand of his father. The question remains; did Kerry purposefully destroy evidence of Lynn’s trail and location?

Lynn 1

It was reported by the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Department that Kerry Messer said the last time he saw his wife was before going to bed just before mid-night. Messer said he awoke to the sound of a storm and realized his wife was missing from their bed. He told the authorities that he searched the 250 acre property and came to the conclusion Lynn was not there.

*Click on quotes below for original published internet article and author. 

The local St. Louis Post Dispatch reported the morning of July 8, 2014: “The patrol said that Messer has a broken right toe and does not have her walking boot with her. Her purse, cell phone and other personal items were left at the home. She has a history of depression and evidence at the scene indicates she may be in personal danger, the patrol said, though they didn’t provide more details.”

“Lynn Marie Messer, 52, walked away from her 300-acre farm in the 6300 block of Route DD, and an endangered person advisory was issued Tuesday night by the Missouri Highway Patrol.”

July 16, 2014: “Lynn Marie Messer, 52, walked away from her home on her 270-acre farm in the 6300 block of Route DD. Her husband, Kerry, woke up at about 4 a.m. and noticed she wasn’t there. He told police he searched his home and property and wasn’t able to find her, and called police at about 8 a.m.” 

Lynn’s sons Abram and Aarron have pointed out that Aarron was the person who called the police. Their statements have been confirmed by the recorded 911 tapes that were aired on Investigation Discovery Channel Disappeared: American Gothic.

“On July 8, on a rainy, dark morning, as Kerry Messer tells it, Lynn, 52, got out of bed sometime before 4 a.m. while he slept and then walked away from the family farmhouse. She left without her keys. She left without her wallet and cellphone, and the passport she used on regular church missions to Ecuador.”

“An intense investigation started the morning Lynn was reported missing and after Kerry searched the common areas around their 250 acre farm where she would normally be found.”

When Lynn’s remains were found on the family farm: “Schott said all the items located with Lynn’s remains were collected and picked up by the FBI Forensic Team. They either took them or the sheriff’s department sent them to the Missouri State Highway Patrol crime lab and the St. Louis Medical Examiner’s office.”

According to the Ste. Genevieve Sheriff’s office, Spring Thomas admitted that she has been in a relationship with Kerry Messer since at least eight weeks after Lynn’s disappearance. Lynn’s sons believe it was significantly earlier than the given time line. Friends say they have seen Kerry with Spring, and he has been known to bring her to lunch/business appointments with him.

On Kerry’s Facebook page: Find Lynn Messer he still actively writes about his shredded heart, his loneliness, his lengthy stories about himself, and the memories of “Ma” his “Bride” interspersed with what seems like contempt for Lynn while telling all the things she couldn’t do right.

Spring Thomas is never mentioned by Kerry on the Find Lynn Messer FB page.

The Lynn Messer case remains open and the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Department maintains custody of Lynn’s remains. The family has told me that Kerry’s wish for Lynn’s remains, when they are released, is that they be donated to science. This is not the wish of Abram’s family or Lynn’s side of the family. After over two years of not knowing where Lynn was they do not wish for her remains to disappear. They want to know, “she’s at rest, and that they will have a place to take the grand kids and say goodbye.”

As for the forensics testing:  “I’m not sure what type of specific testing is being done,” said Schott. “It will depend on the results that come back to determine what we do from there. Once they give us results on what they are doing, then it may lead us in another direction.”

There have been no arrests made in the disappearance or death of Lynn Messer as of this date.

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Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

Toxic Tuesday: Manifesto of the Duplicitous

Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard

For those of you who believe a Christ follower, pastor, church leader, soul winner, family values proponent, or godly leader in a high position could never abuse a child, rape a woman, murder a loved one, or steal from the church…have you read the Bible? The heart is deceitful above all things. Spiritually saved or unsaved humanity is capable of the darkest offenses.

Here is an excerpt of a letter from an individual who was previously in a position of authority, leadership and influence over, unknown to them, a toxic character. Of this corrupted personality the above mentioned leader wrote:  “He…

“…was duplicitous and deceptive, living a double life, disconnected from reality, certainly from spiritual reality.”

Here are the personal values of the Jekyll and Hyde described in the above quote. A soul in a bottomless pit of sexual addiction, a personality disorder, and mental illness.  A creature who blindly victimized the unsuspecting, the simple, the harmless and the innocent.   Who, by society’s standards, is an impostor perpetrating the vilest offenses.

This offender was hired by a church leadership which didn’t dig into the accused offender’s background. Rumors swirled but the leadership believed the offenders spin rather than doing a background check. Because of the church leadership’s lack of integrity to protect their flock innocent children were harmed.

This manifesto was penned to prove sincere devotion to God, to the ex-spouse, to the church, and to show they were healed and worthy of trust, respect, forgiveness and reconciliation.

  1. The economy of this nation depends on my acceptance of personal responsibility.
  2. I will seek to understand and empathize with others.
  3. My family is this nation’s citizenship.
  4. My family and friends are carefully selected allies with whom I have agreed to never war against.
  5. My happiness is not my first goal. Meeting my responsibilities is.
  6. True happiness is found in maintaining and growing in my relationships with God and others.
  7. I must daily be reminded that faith, decency and honor are the highest virtues of man.
  8. A poorly kept house is the first sign of danger: it is the thing most found in slums.
  9. Depression is a state of mind that wrecks the economy — not the reverse.
  10. Appreciation for nature and the arts are essential to maintaining health and centeredness.
  11. God is my First Love; my family and friends come second; I am third.
  12. I must gain independence before I can become interdependent with others.
  13. My attitudes, moods, and expressions must always be a reflection of God’s grace.
  14. God is Sovereign over the affairs of this and every life.
  15. ln every conflict and in every war — whether found from without or from within …is a Iust for what one hasn’t. May the passion of my heart, mind, soul, and strength be to love God completely; and my neighbor as myself.
  16. Faith, Hope, and Love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
  17. lf I bring anything of value, and pour it into the lives of others during my lifetime, may it all be of eternal value and for the good — not of taxing pain nor hurt by telling lies, victimizing others, nor of a pursuit for my own selfish gain and ambition.
  18. l am saved by Grace through Faith … my focus is not, nor can it be, on my righteousness for I have none. My focus is on Jesus Christ – the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He alone is the Righteousness of God, Who is received by Faith, reflected by Obedience, and revealed in Love.
  19. Although I have inherited a sinful nature, I am not captive to it. I have died to sin, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. He is my Hope of Glory.
  20. My life is a constant effort to remove idols and to tear down barriers. The television is my most visible idol and enemy.
  21. My daily regiment must include physical, mental, emotional, vocational, and most of all, spiritual exercise.
  22. Every meal should be eaten at the table.
  23. The windows should not be covered while the master is home. Light must be allowed to pour in.
  24. I will laugh and entertain with a clean sense of humor.
  25. Monotone fails to inspire … l will use effective and sincere inflections to motivate, challenge, and uplift others.
  26. l am committed to sexual and otherwise moral purity and excellence.
  27.  l will seek revival and restoration daily through confession, repentance and recommitment.
  28.  l will surrender my anger, frustrations, anxieties, and struggles to God daily.
  29.  I am a living sacrifice, not conforming to the world, but being transformed by the renewing of my mind.
  30.  Not a cent should be spent without giving thought to paying off every debt and investing for the future; however, it is acceptable to feed the birds on occasion.
  31.  The house and grounds are to reflect excellence and beauty – the canvass for a creative mind.
  32.  I am not an abuser who robs others of joy, but a gift-giver who offers all of myself to feed the souls of others consistently and in such a way that grows far beyond myself to touch lives within a darkened world in a very special, illuminating way.
  33.  Early to bed and early to rise, as a flexible rule.
  34.  My heart will not be allowed to grow cold, nor my conscience to be hardened. But I will maintain a sensitivity to things of beauty and a love for the Divine.
  35.  l will maintain a strong defense and readiness for personal or civil action as needs demand.
  36.  ‘The former ways” — even if only idealistic — are still to be desired over all others.
  37.  I will speak up and take a stand, even when unpopular, for the right.
  38.  I love my God, my family, His church, and the United States of America, and will honor, respect, and remember those who are older and wiser – and those who have gone before us.
  39.  The Bible will be open and visible in my home.
  40.  All I have is the Lord’s.
  41.  Verbal prayers will proceed every meal and will be said at the beginning and end of every day.
  42.  I will share my faith and the Gospel message with someone every day.
  43.  I will offer tithes and offerings, as God provides, to His storehouse, the Church.
  44.  l will not limit God by my unbelief but will seek to discover and fulfill His will for my life and for the lives of those entrusted to my care.
  45.  I will remember that humility honors God and welcomes His blessing.
  46.  I will remember that God seeks a bold, not weak faith in His ability rather than my own.
  47.  I will remember that Jesus died for the sins of the entire world, not just for those in my tiny little circle.
  48.  l will remember holy days – birthdays, anniversaries, and celebrations.
  49.  I will maintain and build upon close and distant past and present friendships.
  50.  Only Jesus can erase sin and hold it no longer to my account: yet it is my responsibility to perform the ongoing ministry of reconciliation – that of healing and re-uniting broken relationships.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In light of innocent victims; numbers 15, 17, 23 and 32 are the most disturbing to me. Number 32 is off the charts unhealthy and twisted when considered in the context of predator and victim.

15.  ln every conflict and in every war — whether found from without or from within…is a Iust for what one hasn’t. May the passion of my heart, mind, soul, and strength be to love God completely; and my neighbor as myself.

17.   lf I bring anything of value, and pour it into the lives of others during my lifetime, may it all be of eternal value and for the good — not of taxing pain nor hurt by telling lies, victimizing others, nor of a pursuit for my own selfish gain and ambition.

23.  The windows should not be covered while the master is home. Light must be allowed to pour in.

32.   I am not an abuser who robs others of joy, but a gift-giver who offers all of myself to feed the souls of others consistently and in such a way that grows far beyond myself to touch lives within a darkened world in a very special, illuminating way.

I share this as a wake-up call to those in positions of leadership; especially within the church. If someone hands you a value statement similar to this; it may be time to pursue professional help for them.

The power of prayer and the courage of little ‘David’ voices against their Goliath put an end to this reign of ‘gift-giving’ and ‘illuminating’ abuse.

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20 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissist

Do you have dysfunctional family dynamics or know someone who does? If you were raised by a parent with narcissistic personality disorder you will relate to these statements. Many of the sayings apply to being raised by someone with any type of personality disorder, but all of the below testimonials will validate children, young or grown, of a parent, or parents, with narcissistic personality disorder.

NPD 000NPD 67

Narcissist:

Someone so toxic they are willing to jeopardize

anybody’s reputation or future, including their own children,

to help themself get out of a sticky situation, conversation, sin, or

crime.  In their personality disordered mind it’s no big deal.

NPD 64NPD 62Toxic40NPD 58NPD 56NPD 44NPD 37NPD 27NPD 21NPD 16NPD 6toxic people boundariesToxic48Toxic47

narc parent 2narc parent 4

Narc parent

Aarron Messer: Prison, Love, Desertion

aarron-and-abram-messer

Photo Credit: J.B. Forbes, jforbes@post-dispatch.com

Lynn Messer was thought to be missing almost three years ago on July 8, 2014. Her husband Kerry Messer, 57, a conservative Jefferson City lobbyist, claims he woke in the early morning hours at his Ste. Genevieve home to find his then 52-year-old wife missing.

We now know Lynn was not missing, but deceased. Her skeletal remains were discovered on Nov. 1, 2016, in the woods on the back edge of one of the family farm’s cow pastures.

Kerry, on the morning of July 8, 2014, demanded multiple times for his son Abram to move the cows across the area where Lynn’s scent trail would be found later that  morning, this trail led to the cow pasture where Lynn’s remains were found. This has been confirmed by the Ste. Genevieve Sheriff’s Office (Also reported on: Investigation Discovery: Disappeared -American Gothic.)

Aarron Messer and his daughters were scouting the same cow pasture for areas to hunt on Nov. 1, 2016, when one of Aarron’s daughters spotted what she thought was a human skull. Aarron, upon closer look, confirmed it and instantly believed it was his mom’s remains. The authorities were called and the woods were immediately considered a crime scene while the sheriff’s department, along with the FBI, collected forensic evidence to help find answers.

At this time forensics have confirmed that Lynn was in the elements the entire time. There are still no results on the cause of death and soil sample results have not been released.

Once again, Aarron Messer is allowing me to share a personal letter from his Facebook page. These are his words through which he shares his opinion of what he thinks transpired in the middle of the night and early morning hours of July 8, 2014. Aarron confirms Abram’s claims that they did not abandon their father; but rather, Kerry deserted his entire family.

From Aarron Joseph Messer:

I want to share with you all my heart.

In many ways it hurts to imagine all the worst possible reasons my mother ended up where she was left. I don’t want to accept or embrace those theories yet I cannot deny the obvious. In my heart I want to believe in an answer much simpler than all the theories.

I would like you to know that in my heart I see a frustrated and confused Kerry. Maybe he had an affair, maybe he didn’t. Maybe he killed my mother, maybe it was suicide, maybe it was an accident, a fight, an argument gone wrong, maybe she accidentally overdosed on pills, or maybe she had a heart attack or blood clot and died in the middle of the night.

However it happened the undeniable is that my father had my mother’s dead body in front of him. In that moment of irrational fear, shame, remorse…whatever it was; he moved her into the woods. Whether it was a premeditated act or just an impulse—he made a horrible decision. He covered it up, he lied, and I called the police. Abram and Elizabeth didn’t tell the story he wanted told. I am certain he thought they would discover her body years ago. But he had already lied. There was no going back and there was no coming clean. His lies were told so much and so often it became truth to him, truth that had to be the way it was. At this point he doesn’t know what’s true, and he will not come clean. He believes his own lies.

Forgive me, but no matter about all the other stuff– insurance, affairs, any of it, I know he hid her and I know he knew where she was 100% of the time. I just could care less though about all the other stuff.  His lies are more than enough—and those lies—that’s what hurts me. I may be abrupt or defensive, it’s not just my whole life and family in question, it’s everything.

I believe in justice and my father belongs in prison. I love him still and I will visit him in prison, but I will stand on the victims side of the court and I will take the stand against him for my mother. But my dad has not been deserted by us, he has left us.

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

Lynn Messer Case: Top 12 Lies

LynnThank you to Abram Messer for once again taking time to answer questions surrounding the investigation of his mom, Lynn Messer’s death.

Today we are pointing out false claims that were made during the early days of Lynn Messer’s disappearance; or what we now know was her death.

Here are the top 12:

  1. On the morning of Lynn’s disappearance, Kerry stated to the Sheriff’s Department that Lynn had never been depressed and had never taken any kind of antidepressants. False: Lynn suffered from depression for years and was taking antidepressants. Facts which many family members were aware of, even Kerry himself was fully aware of this, referring to Lynn’s antidepressants as her “happy pills”.
  2. During Kerry’s time line of the first morning he told the police he didn’t leave the farm. False: He left his phone at home and left the farm. He only admitted to having left the farm after he failed the polygraph in May of 2015. Why would you leave your phone at home when looking for your lost wife? What if you found her hurt, harmed or worse? You would need the phone to call for help. It seems like the most important tool you would want to have with you while searching for a missing person. Well…unless…possibly you don’t want your location to be pinged by law enforcement? 
  3. Kerry has been cooperating with law enforcement. False: Law enforcement revealed in April of 2015 that Kerry was not cooperating with the investigation, and had not been “for quite some time.” All just before investigators informed family members of his new relationship with Spring Thomas
  4. Spring Thomas is just a family friend who has been helping him cope, helping him with eating, and caring for him. False: We know according to law enforcement she has admitted to being in a relationship with Kerry at least 8 weeks after Lynn went missing. Abram has messages from Spring that date the time to at least 6 weeks after Lynn went missing, but he thinks the romantic relationship predated his mom’s death.  He has based this upon the previous years of watching his father interact with Spring. In fact, before Abram knew anything about Kerry’s relationship with Spring, he expressed concern to his father about their inappropriate behavior around one another in the past as well as their behavior around each other when Spring showed up for organized searches to help look for Lynn, after Lynn’s disappearance, on the family farm.
  5. Kerry told law enforcement the first morning that he didn’t make copies of the note. False: He made multiple copies of the note before the police arrived. Months later investigators found out from third parties that Kerry had made copies of the note and was showing it around, but not showing it to his sons.When questioned again about making the copies, Kerry responded by saying “because I knew this was going to be a long drawn out ordeal, and I didn’t know when I was going to get the note back.” So once again investigators scratched their heads wondering, how could he possibly know that this was going to be “a long drawn out ordeal” because that’s certainly not what he told the public, or the family. He took those copies; cutting the note in two and claims to have burned the other half of the note.  In one of the more bizarre interactions when the investigators were asking Kerry about that portion of the note, he said, “I told her not to write that.” The officer asking him stopped and said “what did you tell her not to write?” And Kerry said, “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to correct myself, I did not just say I told her not to write that- that is not what I said.” He has never explained how or what he could have meant by that. Just that he accidentally let slip that he watched her write the note, and that he criticized what she had written, and maybe that explains why he cut out that portion of the note and burned it. Perhaps he knows that it doesn’t have anything to do with Lynn’s disappearance?
  6. The note: Kerry told law enforcement and media he didn’t understand the note and it didn’t make sense. False: He told his sons that law enforcement demanded he, Kerry, not talk to his sons about the note. False:  In private he told Abram and Aarron he understood the note and understood it from the beginning.  Aarron’s daughter commented nonchalantly “Grandma didn’t write that.” “What do you mean?” Aarron asked.  She replied, “Grandma didn’t call grandpa, “Pa” she called him “Pop.” That’s correct. Grandpa would get so frustrated and correct her because he wanted to be called Pa, but she called him “Pop.” These facts and others have only been complicated by the way Kerry took a portion of the note which he retained, enlarged it, and enhanced the lettering for a TV interview he orchestrated. 
  7. Different articles and Facebook posts over the last two years led readers to believe Lynn’s husband, Kerry, was the one who called the sheriff’s office. Several media outlets have stated that Kerry called 911. False:  Kerry had over four hours in which he could have called law enforcement—but did not. At least a four hour window of time for Lynn to have been missing exists, but if one retraces the timeline there are possibly eight hours of missing time during which something could have happened to Lynn.
  8. Kerry passed his polygraph. False:  Kerry (that we know of) has taken two polygraph tests. The first one, was considered “inconclusive” and the second polygraph which he took in May of 2015 was considered an outright failure. 
  9. On Facebook Kerry publicly pines away for his “bride.” False: In private he pursued secret and private rendezvous with another woman. Even after claiming that his relationship with Spring is on hold, he still continues to actively lie and hide her. Abram describes; “He puts on a public act of piety. In private engaging in sin. The word of God repeatedly warns us about making a public profession while our hearts are far from God. We must all be aware of the biblical cautions for attempting to “serve God and man.” These attempts to serve God while secretly gratifying our own lusts exemplifies what the word of God calls a double minded man who is unstable in all his ways.”
  10. Kerry has repeatedly claimed that no evidence has been found. False: Lynn’s scent trail was immediately found and it led through the field where Kerry had Abram move to cows early the first morning. Which, in the end, led to where Lynn’s body was recovered. Kerry chose to hide this information from family, friends, supporters, and Lynn’s extended family. Adding emotional, mental, and psychological stress to their lives through worry and efforts of mile after mile daily searching— month after month, and year after year. Efforts which were still active until her remains were discovered.  “They found a towel in the edge of the creek (on the back corner of the farm) that had been washed up,” Abram said. “One of the reasons we were rechecking all of the creeks is because we were hoping and praying if she was out there somewhere, there might have been something, anything that could have been washed down in that significant rain. “(After the towel was spotted) “We get up to this towel that is laying in the edge of the grass, which had obviously been washed up there and my father walks up to the towel and says, ‘has anybody touched it?’ I told him no, because that was one of the first questions I asked the folks who discovered it originally.” Abram explained that they needed to get the detectives out there. “My father said ‘well I’m going to touch it’ and he reached down and picked it up,” remembered Abram. “Keep in mind this is early August, it’s sweltering hot outside and we are all drenched in sweat. My father picks up this towel, rubs it all over his face, then he rubs it up and down both of his arms, wipes all the sweat off of him, he rubs the back of his neck and then he takes the towel and says he doesn’t think this is anything.” Abram said Kerry said it was some towel that a searcher must have dropped. “As he is saying this, he is vigorously rubbing the towel up and down on the outside of his chest,” recalled Abram. Never mind the fact I’m looking this plain white towel knowing that it matches the other five or 10 plain white towels that they have under their cabinet.” Abram said they now understand the location of that towel was a few hundred yards downhill from where his mother was discovered.  “We had been searching, begging, hoping and praying that we would find something, anything and we did. There is no doubt in my mind, I feel very, very confident, saying publicly and openly that my father has taken very direct active steps into destroying the trail of evidence. (Searchers, including Kerry, were instructed in recovery protocol. They were told NOT to touch anything that was found. Kerry violated this. Why?) Yet, some of Kerry’s lobbying principals expressed glee in how upright, forthright, and honest Kerry has been for keeping them abreast of every detail and development in the case from day one. 
  11. Kerry and Lynn were happy in a loving and abiding marriage. False: There have been witnesses step forward with contrary testimony of what took place in the marriage. See:  Lynn Messer: Random Thoughts  Abram explains, “He had deliberately misrepresented their marriage, relationship, and family structure. They did not have a healthy marriage. Loving husbands do not hide financial information from wives. Christ honoring  husbands love there wives as Christ loved the church. Kerry’s relationship even by his own story telling seems to be one which required Lynn to make personal sacrifices while he enjoyed the public accolades of political achievement. Not the biblical picture of husbands sacrificially giving themselves to their wives. For years his public story telling on Facebook is one which defames Lynn’s honor, promotes himself, while minimizing the severity and impact of his own unbiblical view of marriage.” The Facebook stories seem to be full of fabrications and untruths; according to family members who can recall the real stories. 
  12. Lastly, I will allow Abram to once again use his words. After all the boys have been through they deserve to tell it from their viewpoint; not Kerry’s Find Lynn Messer Facebook version; or how he has deliberately misrepresented the investigation, and especially his family. Kerry has claimed that his son Abram who worked for him in the capital for over a decade has mental problems, and Kerry has accused his entire family of abandoning him and turning their backs on him. False: “Kerry has gone to great lengths to tell absurd and unfounded stories and accusations for the sole purpose of misrepresenting his own children. These obvious attempts on his part to control the narrative reveals not only his own desperation but his desires to suppress the truth. Including but not limited to a consistent theme claiming that he has been abandoned by his family. By all accounts public and private; Kerry’s family members have repeatedly begged him for reconciliation and pleaded for truth and honesty so that Kerry can come to a right relationship with the Lord. Instead, my father has turned his back on us and accused us of abandoning him. When in fact he himself has abandoned his self-professed personal ethos. Choosing the pleasure of sin for a season over the freedom and forgiveness which God himself offers.”

Abram’s closing statement:
The word of God talks extensively about forensics over and over again. We are told things like love covers a multitude of sins. When at all possible live at peace with all men. There is a great balance between these commands and the biblical commands to publicly call out sin; to publicly appeal to the unrepentant heart. We are commanded to show no partiality in the calling out of sin especially sin that exists in the church or a Christian brother…. or father. We are responsible before God to bring a fallen brother back to the Lord. Before any  information became public the family attempted to follow the biblical outline addressing the issues in private and never spoke a word publicly until after the church refused to follow the biblical guidelines. We must remember the purpose of all of this is not to attack, it is not hatred, it is not anger, it is not lashing out, but it is tearful obedience to the commands of God. We don’t get to pick and choose what parts of the Word we feel like being obedient to. Gods Word commands us to publicly call out the unrepentant heart. We all have a responsibility before God to stand for what is right; no matter how hard it is. We will all answer to the Great Judge and give an account for every word and deed. The truth is not contingent upon who knows it or who believes it. The truth does not change because it is a hard pill to swallow.  The truth doesn’t change because we don’t like it. It doesn’t change because it is uncomfortable; in fact, the word of God tells us that the truth is not easy. It tells us rather that people will hate us for speaking it.  It tells us we must be willing to give everything for the cause of Christ… our home, the things that we love, the job that we love, and even the people we love so that we may walk upright before God.”

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

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Lynn Messer: Random Thoughts

C.S. Lewis 1

C.S. Lewis 3

Today I’m answering criticisms Kerry has made at journalists, media outlets, and writers like me on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.

I’ve not made one penny from blogging so I’m not padding my pockets.  I blog for one reason only: Out of obedience to a calling on my life to listen to and pray for women living in abusive ‘Christian’ relationships.

I have no advertisers. I receive no gifts, or financial compensation for the countless hours I spend researching and writing. I do this while homeschooling my children, ministering to numerous local women who are deep in the middle of abuse (or leaving abuse), and while suffering from multiple auto-immune diseases that rack my body with pain, illness and extreme fatigue.

Here’s another random fact. I have several friends living with diseases that rack their bodies with pain, illness, extreme fatigue, joint replacements, insomnia and/or cancer.  None of them have committed suicide. Nor have any of my dear friends who have, or are currently living through, unimaginable, unsafe, abusive marriages committed suicide. Do they become depressed? Of course! It’s impossible not to when living in the middle of such trauma.

Below is my rebuttal to Kerry Messer’s public Find Lynn Messer Facebook page dated Sunday, April 23, 2017. The red font is Kerry Messer’s writing.

According to the Sheriff, (as I understand it) it has been determined that Ma’s remains were in their discovered location the entire time we had been looking for her. There are still far too many unanswered questions which remain, including several newer ones from the discovery and the Sheriff’s release of this detail. This assumption does not necessarily come directly from the sheriff but rather from a reporter who may have taken liberties with the information given to them. The statement was, 

“THE ST. LOUIS COUNTY MEDICAL EXAMINER’S OFFICE STATES IT APPEARS MESSER’S BODY WAS OUT THERE (in the elements) FOR THE TWO YEAR TIME PERIOD.” The statement said nothing about the body being in the same location the entire time. (I will work on confirming this for a next blog post.)

But at least the scope of accusations and attacks have been narrowed by the limited details we at least know for now. Prayerfully additional information may be released that could further narrow the garbage being thrown about by haters. (Certainly no one has stepped forward to admit their false accusations in light of the few things we now know – so I am not holding my breath that any of the haters will have enough integrity to apologize for their attacks.) Lynn’s remains were found on the farm; where we thought they would be found. There is no proof that it was suicide. I think a criminal’s days are numbered. “Mene mene tekel upharsin” Daniel 5. As I have discovered waiting for past investigations to conclude; time is not on the defendant’s side but rather the prosecution’s. I think they are tidying up. I wish they had a tighter time frame for doing this so the family can feel safe, find some amount of closure, and achieve a type of justice for Lynn.

Why or how can so many people, who have never in their lives ever seen or met Ma, think they can be so certain of what happened to her when they have never even so much as looked at her? No one truly knows anyone simply by looking “at” them anyway. You have to look “up” towards someone before you can begin to understand who they are in the first place.

Many of these women have seen and met Lynn. Some of them knew Lynn well. I’m the only one who never personally met Lynn.

For two years Lynn’s story burned in my heart and mind to the point I realized it was a calling. Truly, I didn’t want to act on the calling. I had enough stress in my life without adding any more. I just wanted peace and comfort; and a large helping of it.

For the women who did meet or know Lynn these are the comments I’ve heard from them:

“Knowing that she’s missing; I’ll never forget the first time I met her. I was at a dinner in Jefferson City seated at the same table with Kerry and Lynn. He talked non-stop with most subjects coming back to circle around him. Lynn didn’t look up or participate in the conversation. She was extremely quiet. In my gut I knew something was wrong in her marriage; I suspected abuse.”

“I met her at a fund raiser that she attended with Kerry. She was quiet and didn’t speak much and seemed nervous much of the night.”

“Yes I knew Lynn, yes I knew things most church people didn’t know because those topics were “off limits” at church and if you didn’t conform you were shunned. I was an abused wife at one point in my life. Life with an abuser behind closed doors is a living hell. Lynn’s life was no bed of roses as her husband protests it was, she just never shared it openly. The county is a “good old boy” county so when you have political pull as he does folks tend to overlook what is right in front of their faces. This is a man who doesn’t mind parking in a handicapped spot at church blocking those who need it and when called to his attention would just say “I’m bad” leaving his car in the handicapped spot without having the legal right to do so. This may seem petty but for a man who professes to be “godly” he doesn’t mind breaking the law. “ 

“I met Kerry and Lynn at a large dinner engagement.  Kerry was very domineering and talkative.  Lynn sat silently, sadly and I don’t think she even spoke that night.  My heart went out to her then, and then all these years later when she disappeared, I just cannot get the images of that night and the feeling I felt in my soul that she was a controlled, sad woman out of my mind and heart.”

“Lynn and I go back several years through church. She told me of abusive things that were going on in her marriage. I think Kerry will be shocked to find out how much investigators know. What Kerry claims on the Find Lynn Messer page was not Lynn’s reality.”

My calling to be a voice for women like Lynn reminded me of several years ago when my son had an accident and I was in the E.R. with him. I was clueless as to the seriousness of my son’s injury since it could not be seen. I could feel the weight of the Holy Spirit upon me; communicating to my heart, soul, mind and strength; “Pray for his life. This is your spiritual heritage in the Lord. Seek it.” The physical pressure to go to my knees; to my face was overwhelming. Right in the middle of the E.R.; in the hallway outside the C.T. scan…praying boldly, quickly, obediently…then the doors opened and I was told the life flight helicopter would be there in 19 minutes. “Your son has an epidural hematoma; a severe brain bleed—a severe traumatic brain injury.”

The same overwhelming sense I experienced in the E.R. came as “Do it. Speak for Lynn. Tell your story. Be obedient and use your past pain to have a positive impact. Trust Me.”

I have no idea to this day what the Lord’s full purpose is. I’m not saying Kerry Messer is guilty in the death of his wife. I’m just being courageous enough to say something seems odd. I’m saying that many abused women can testify that abuse or wrongful death is within the realm of possibility. I’m saying that after my extensive background of studying personality disorders, because nothing makes you more interested in such a topic than having to live with such a person, that I think I notice similarities.

My biggest fear in being obedient was that I would channel my past pain and experiences on some poor innocent person.

The consequences of my obedience are in God’s hands. If I’m going to error; I would rather error in faith than in disobedience.

Can any of you locate this C.S. Lewis quote and which book and page number it is from? Please leave a comment by clicking the comment link above if you know the reference. I know of several people looking for this information. My friends, and a family member, who are avid C.S. Lewis readers haven’t been able to place the quote. Please help us. ~Thank you! (UPDATE 5/1/2017 Thank you to Jeannie Pederson, a commenter at Truth Seekers Open Forum on Facebook who suggested using plagiarism websites to research Kerry’s C.S. Lewis quote. After 9 days of asking Kerry Messer for the source of the quote, multiple Google searches, and 6 different plagiarism sites; it appears Kerry provided a false quote. I’m hoping Kerry can prove otherwise and provide proof of a C.S. Lewis book quote.)

Kerry Messer quoted this in his most recent Facebook post:

C. S. Lewis once wrote, “One of the more common universal traits of the human experience is that most people tend towards putting everyone else into a box. They cannot see nor accept others’ lives without interpreting that other person’s history or being except through their own personal limited experiences or narrow worldview. “We” are even prone to put God Himself into our little boxes; thus our divided Christian communities (and even the pale skinned European concept of Jesus Christ).”

The issue which C. S. Lewis was addressing is mankind’s general tendency to never look “up”. We are all sinners both by nature and by choice. Without self-control and self-discipline we default in the common direction of narrow-minded prejudices. It is unnatural for a person to look “up” and make themselves “see” others from a perspective or worldview different from their own experiences. Our nature is only to look “at” one another.

This narrow-mindedness, which results in prejudices of all kinds, is exploited by politicians and the broad scope of advocates globally. It leads to grossly false understandings of anyone who is not cut from the same cloth as oneself. It divides neighbors into sub-cultures and class envy and cultural strife. It dares us to assign preconceived motives to everyone else’s’ motives. And it fuels the arrogance of false judgments, even to the point of baring false witness against someone with no evidence or conviction of guilt. Circumstantial evidence abounds and only investigators, in time, can reveal if there is physical evidence.

This is why a thief distrusts everyone else. It is why an unfaithful person will almost always assume everyone else is unfaithful. And it is why someone who has been deeply hurt by a trusted loved one typically assumes everyone else treats their loved ones badly also.

Sadly, this is also why far too many people cannot accept the love and compassion of Jesus Christ. They simply refuse to see the grace being held out to them by a merciful God. They choose to judge The Lord according to their own personal experiences and hard heartedness.
They cannot bring themselves to “lift their eyes” to look “up” and “see” the Son of God on the cross. It is somehow easier for them to think about God as being judgmental. It fits their idea that they have to find some way to earn God’s approval according to their own reasoning, rather than accept the simplicity of God’s grace.

It is easier to look “at” God and see him through our personal experiences rather than seeing Him for who He is according to His own revelation. And of course our human nature also leads us to swing the pendulum to the other extreme and define His love according to wishful thinking and say that since He is a God of love, He would never let anything bad happen to us. For too many folks The Lord is nothing more than who they reason Him to be in their own minds.

In the same manner, folks pass judgments based on their preconceived notions and their only frame of thoughts come from their limited experiences. Thus the haters will be angry and bitter at anyone who disagrees with them. They actually think they are right!

I lost track of what the point actually was.

I think it was: If only we would look “up” to him and not “at” him.

I think this sounds as malignant as narcissistic personality disorder comes.

I am not diagnosing anyone. There have been no criminal charges filed in the death of Lynn Messer. I am not a psychological, psychiatric, or medical practitioner; therefore any opinions I share are my own and should not be construed as professional advice, but rather for educational consideration only. 

I’ll conclude with part of my bio from the ‘About Me’ page:  Just because we are Christians does not mean we have to be walked all over, verbally shredded, emotionally manipulated, physically harmed, sexually abused or  backed in the corner by those suffering from mental illness who refuse to seek help and healing, by those who refuse to deal with their personality disorder, and/or by those who refuse to turn from their messed up choices. Boundaries are necessary. Safety is achievable. Love is essential.

Sometimes speaking the truth in love isn’t easy; but I hope it helps other people currently living in abusive relationships to see there is hope and healing before it’s too late.

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On a side note: If you had been following the fictitious, public page, Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse on Facebook you have likely noticed that it has disappeared. I was contacted yesterday by the anonymous author of Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse. ‘Someone’ didn’t appreciate the author’s work and reported the page to Facebook.

“The Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse page has been disabled by Facebook admin for “Violating the Facebook Terms”. There is no exact reason listed. They only provide a link to a list of generic possible reasons.”

I hope to have more on this development soon.

In the meantime, here is the last post which a friend of mine snapped pictures of Sunday night. It is for educational purposes only.

Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse; April 22, 2017, 9:58 PM (Public Facebook page)

The pastor’s sermon today was about living a secular and sinful lifestyle. He spoke of the Lord giving us a limited amount of time to repent before striking us down with His righteous judgement. The pastor applied much effort into explaining the importance of repentance and how we will ultimately be held accountable for our own actions.

Although he wasn’t preaching this just for me, it seemed appropriate for my situation. I wonder sometimes if I should feel remorse for my action. It seems logical for me to do so, but I just feel…nothing. No remorse. No repentance. It’s not that I lack all emotion. I feel emotions in other situations: sadness when I lose a friend, anger when I am betrayed or when things don’t go as planned, happiness when I see that special someone, pride at a job well done. So I ask myself, what am I missing?

Guilt.

Some people don’t understand that there is a distinct difference between guilt and regret. Guilt stems from doing something that you wish you hadn’t done. Regret stems from doing something that you wish you would have done differently. Sure I’ve felt regret. Those were the times I was kicking myself for making a decision in haste or anger, instead of taking the time to calm down and use a clear head. I have become familiar with regret at least a few times in my past.

As for guilt and I, we remain strangers. Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet someday.

C.S. Lewis 6C.S. Lewis 7C.S. Lewis 8C.S. Lewis 9

 And one more C.S. Lewis quote sent in by reader Cheryl Bowles Summers:

A moderately bad man knows he is not very good: a thoroughly bad man thinks he is alright. This is common sense really. You understand sleep when you are awake, not well you are sleeping.

 ~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

 

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

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Kerry Messer’s Finances Revealed

The public deserves to know. It’s amazing how much information is at the public’s fingertips with the tool of the internet.

I wish Lynn had known!

I receive private messages from people who have information on Kerry Messer. Of course, I have no way of proving much of it so I can’t publish it here. Time will literally tell.

Meanwhile, let me assure you that Lynn left behind a treasure trove of people who are determined to secure truth and justice for her. I thank all of you for the countless hours, phone calls, leg work, brain power, passion and heart you are putting in to this. I’ve met some amazing people on this journey and three of you know who you are; I adore you! These three people, one of which is Cheryl Bowles Summers, has aggressively participated in pursuing closure for Lynn and her family. The team over at Facebook’s Find Lynn Messer II has provided non-stop truth; providing a timeline, inaccuracies they believe they find at Kerry’s Find Lynn Messer Facebook page, archived photographic and video evidence, and open dialogue that will not be monitored by deleting comments and questions; like Val and Kerry do on the original Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.

Here are some pieces of conflicting information about Kerry Messer. Much is directly from his own mouth, writing, and photographs.

I present to you…proof:

Kerry Messer distributed the following letter statewide. I received it through my local homeschool group. The date is November 29, 2011. I’m including only the portion that relates to fund-raising. You may read the letter in its entirety at the end of this post.

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This is a faith ministry, meaning we do NOT have a salary or regular source of income. MFN demands full time attention and we survive off of the donations of those willing to support this ministry. 

 And even though I have never grown comfortable with fundraising, we manage to get by with minimal fundraising and maximum effort directed at the important battlefronts. We’re committed to low-key fundraising efforts with very few letters or “the sky is falling” communications.

We are confident in the ministry calling of Missouri Family Network and the Lord has given us a special and personal peace about the financial strains we often face!

Why am I sending you an email about this subject?

Simply because this is one of those rare fundraising letters that I hate to send out, but must.

Here is our current situation:

2011 has been a VERY difficult year. Going into December we are at the lowest financial point we have ever faced in closing out our annual books. Donations have been within their relative parameters, but we have been hit with several unusual and unexpected expenses. We have been saddled with some significant ministry obligations that are handicapping us.

(Just to note; over the years several organizations have formally asked us to be their official representative (lobbyist) at the state capitol, to which we have agreed to some. In more recent years this has resulted in some confusion and we often hear folks express that they thought these relationships were based on employment, thus resulting in a drop in donations.)

For clarification allow me to list the eight “principles” I am registered with as
representing within the capitol as required by the Missouri Ethics Commission:

Missouri Family Network – (defending traditional families on all pro-family issues)
Americans United for Life – (the nation’s oldest pro-life legal strategy think-tank)
Alliance for Life, Missouri – (Missouri’s largest pro-life network of local PRCs)
Families for Home Education – (home school families & related education policy)
Missouri Baptist Convention – Christian Life Commission – (various Biblical concerns)
MO Assn. of Christian Child Care Agencies (religious liberties of residential ministries)
Samaritan Ministries International – (an international health care sharing ministry)
Missourians for Personal Safety – (Missouri’s Second Amendment organizations)

It is important to explain that I am NOT employed by any of these organizations beyond the donations to MFN which, in part, keeps the food on the table and the lights on, as well as the many ministry demands. All the other groups only provide their own donations to help MFN. There are no salaries, no insurance plans, no benefits, and no pensions.

As we are preparing for the 2012 legislative season we are drafting proposals and gearing up for the early January session of the Missouri General Assembly. But we have a large financial burden hanging over us and we need to raise an additional $21,000 by the end of the year! This is beyond anything we have faced at this late date on the calendar in the past.

WE NEED YOUR HELP!

To compound this situation is the fact that our primary farm truck kicked out its last mile this summer and we have been looking for a way to replace it before winter. Now that cold weather is settling in, the need for a heavy ¾ ton or 1 ton truck is getting serious.

If you have any idea or connection that could assist us with this particular need, we want to hear from you right away. The dead truck is a 1999 Chevy 2500 HD 4×4 and we are hanging onto it in case a replacement truck is compatible for parts. Thus our preference would be either a 2500 or 3500 Chevy (3/4 or 1 ton). A 4 wheel drive is a must, as is a full size bed. Optional details start with preferring a standard cab over an extended one, as close to a 1999 model would allow us to utilize many quality parts for the next few years to come, a steel flat bed (10-12 feet) or standard 8 foot flareside (no stepside or short bed), A/C is not important nor are other frills typical of any vehicle used for travel.

In other words the ‘perfect’ truck for us would be a low mileage 1999 Chevy 3500 HD 4×4, auto trans., with a 12 foot steel dump bed. However, we are in need of a strong work truck and don’t want to be picky beggars. Your prayers and assistance can help us find what the Lord has in store for our needs.

So here is what we would like to ask of you.

Please pray about a special gift of support for the ongoing work of Missouri Family Network – right away.

Then help us pray about finding a farm work truck needed on the home front. A 1999 model is nowhere near the expense of a more recent year. You may know someone who could donate, in part or in whole, to help us keep our sanity in the midst of a stressful political culture. If not, your prayers would still be helpful!”

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Kerry did receive the truck; how much money he received I do not know. I was informed by a person in attendance at this ‘fund raiser’ that Kerry received a big new truck and that the event was attended by well known conservative pillars of the community; along with state reps and politicians.

Weeks after Lynn disappeared Kerry posted this:Kerry Messer summer of distraction

Below: From MFN’s webpage. A way to place secure financial donations.

Kerry Messer MFN donate

I hardly call a missing loved one a ‘distraction’. I would call it a summer of crisis, of personal trauma, a sanity stealer…but not a distraction!

Perhaps his so-called ‘summer of distraction’ could have been better summarized as his, Spring of distraction; as in Spring Thomas who detectives discovered was romantically linked to Kerry within weeks of Lynn’s disappearance.

As reported, Spring is an only child of deceased parents and she lives on a large acreage in an upscale St. Louis suburb. In other words; she’s sitting on a large amount of money with no immediate family descendants.

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Here is Kerry’s current financial appeal at MissouriFamilyNetwork.net

Kerry Messer donations please

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Families Share Stories of Missouri’s Missing

“I have zero belief that she’s still alive, but without finding her, I’m stuck,” he (Messer) said.

One of the few things that has kept him going is God and lobbying for legislation at the Capitol. He’s been a full-time volunteer lobbyist for several decades, but his missing wife has given him a purpose.

Volunteer: (noun) a person who freely offers to take part in an enterprise or undertake a task. (verb) Freely offer to do something.  I don’t believe volunteer fits what Kerry does.

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Press Release: “Support the Hurting” Hunter Awareness of Missing Person Cases

 

As a prominent pro-family lobbyist well known not only for his past 30 years of work at the State Capitol, Mr. Messer is also recognized for his ministry among the broad spectrum of public officials, staff and government relations professionals in Jefferson City. As a result, support and assistance has come from all corners of the State.

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Thanks to Cheryl Bowles Summers for this addition: Another important tid-bit of information to keep in mind is although most people believe Missouri Family Network is a non-profit, “MFN is a for-profit entity and that Kerry’s ‘Support the Hurting’ was non-profit, but was shut down by the state for its failure to comply with reporting regulations – however, its FB page and website are still active. “

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CLC weighs future fiscal challenges, cuts to come

By Allen Palmeri

Associate Editor

*Here’s an excerpt. It may be read in it’s entirety by clicking on the article’s text.

LINN—The Christian Life Commission (CLC) of the Missouri Baptist Convention (MBC) met May 15 at First Baptist Church here under new leadership that expressed concerns about a tighter budget to come and how to spend wisely.

A cut in the MMO budget from $15,000 to $11,000 in 2011 led to discussion on how the CLC would adjust. It was agreed that the cut would be manageable with prudent spending and no anticipated new expenses. The bulk of this portion of the CLC budget, $9,000, goes to a legislative coordinator, Kerry Messer, who serves as the legislative liasion at the State Capitol for Missouri Baptists.

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And this direct quote of Kerry Messer’s from the Missouri Times…

The Missouri Family Network doesn’t have fancy offices or any high-profile lobbyists. Messer said the reason is simple — money isn’t important to him. Messer does not actively fund raise for his non-profit network and he and his family live off the small but continuous flow of donations, largely from private citizens.

“There’s no job security, no health or life insurance, and I’m comfortable with that,”

Not true: 1) MFN is a for-profit organization. 2) Kerry had access to free financial help through Samaritan Ministries medical sharing/expense program. 3) There was life insurance on Lynn, Abram, and Elizabeth at the time of Lynn’s disappearance.

Kerry Messer Samaritans 3

Kerry Messer Samaritans 2

Find Lynn Messer II public Facebook page  – Letter regarding Samaritan Ministries….

Lynn had hip surgery at Barnes in August, 2013. No insurance. One year later, in July 2014 (the month she went missing), he filed a request with Samaritan Ministries for assistance with her bill, even though they weren’t covered because they weren’t members at that time. I am a member, and personally received the fund request. I asked Kerry how I would be sure the money would go to her hospital bills, as the checks were to be made out directly to him. He gave me a convoluted answer (imagine that), so I called Barnes to pay directly on her bill, and accounting told me her balance was zero due to the fact they received financial assistance. If you take the time to research, folks that post “special needs requests” at Samaritan Ministries can get up to $400 per day in non-traceable money directly to their mailbox.

From Cheryl Bowles Summers: I made contact with Samaritan Ministries, and on their website, they said that their annual financial report is available upon request. So…I requested it. They are supposed to be emailing it to me, but I haven’t seen it yet. They also said that they are looking into the situation with Kerry and will have a response soon.”

Good for her since Samaritan’s Ministry cut me, Carolyn, off when I called to ask questions. Thank you to any other readers who also called. It sounds like they understand they will have to make a decision regarding their relationship with Kerry Messer.

Also from Cheryl Bowles Summers:  I posted on FHE’s FB page, “Does anyone have an accurate email address for FHE staff? I’ve sent several messages and haven’t gotten any response.” 
Response:
Dear Mrs. Summers,
This will acknowledge receipt of your recent correspondence.
Your comments have been provided to our Board for their prayerful consideration.
Sincerely, Al and Sheryl Schmidt
Families for Home Education Executive Directors
Then her question was promptly taken down as all of our questions and comments are removed from their page. Have any of you heard back from FHE in reply to your concerns? Cheryl is the first person I know of who has heard back.
Do FHE board members understand that when they correctly, biblically deal with the Kerry Messer issue their stress level will reduce?

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And Kerry’s quote from Missouri Digital News; May 13, 2011:

“I hope I can witness for Christ to help restore our culture and our nation to the truths of God,” he adds. “No one is paying me to be here,” said Kerry Messer, “I can’t afford to be here. But it’s OK, because I feel convicted and I have a peace in my life that I am doing what the Lord has called me to do.”

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Child Abuse ad Neglect Board: appointed by the governor

Mr. Kerry K. Messer
Member 3
Festus
Term begins: Jun 1, 2012
Term expires: Apr 7, 2013 (Remained active through 2016; current: unknown)

Compensation: Members receive reimbursement for realized and necessary expenses.

This position required filing financial disclosure statements which are obtainable through the Sunshine law in Missouri.  Kerry Messer has no financial disclosures on file; which means he didn’t have expenses. The Missouri Ethics Commission also has no financial disclosures on file for Kerry as a lobbyist.

My question is: Since it appears Kerry Messer has no in office expenditures or professional expenses why does he actively fund raise for Missouri Family Network? I understand he needs travel and living expenses, but so much?

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Since my last post, Who Retains Kerry Messer: Here’s the List, I have learned that many of the organizations listed in that article do pay out money to Kerry Messer for his services; substantial amounts. No one organization provides enough for a year’s living salary, but combined? It’s a fair amount; add to that the financial fund raising letters he mails out to the homeschooling community, along with private donations (by Kerry’s own admission they provide the most money) and one can see how his accumulated land holdings are very near $1,000,000, if not over. This week also brought the revelation that Kerry’s home church, First Baptist Church Festus/Crystal City, has a category in their financial data base where mission money received for Kerry Messer’s Missouri Family Network is recorded. (I verified that Kerry has been a mission beneficiary; however, the monetary amount is unknown.)

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Who is Kerry Messer #3 (Find Lynn Messer II public Facebook page)

Anyone who follows Kerry’s Facebook posts is familiar with his I’m Poor schtick. A whole different financial portfolio has already been uncovered. You can read the part of his post November 6, 2014 that says “Hill country farming is a wonderful chosen lifestyle. It is the world’s best place to raise children and grandchildren! But cattle and baling hay in these rocky hills does not produce a working income. We are totally dependent upon donations from our lackluster fundraising”. (Lackluster: lacking in vitality, force, or conviction; uninspired or uninspiring.) 

He sure managed to build quite a net worth secretly while Lynn worried about buying groceries though! Here is a photo of his tractor collection that is time stamped 10-22-2015. Looky how they are all lined up nice too.

Kerry Messer tractor pic
Below: list of tractor values
Kerry Messer tractors
The Missouri Times July 20, 2013
Below is the proof of the opposite.
Kerry’s other farm subsidies (free money) from the USDA: Click on the below links for yearly amounts.
Kerry Messer USDA subsidy info
Kerry Messer USDA subsidy info
And let’s not forget about the land he owns in Arkansas and Tennessee.
Below pic is for the land in Crockett County, Tennessee. The other half is in Dyer county.
Kerry Messer land
Kerry Messer land 2
I also have full PDF Deed files for the land Kerry bought in Tennessee. Because of legality questions I’m not publically posting them, but you may click and send a ‘comment’ above if you need to see the evidence. I will send you a private message with the PDF files for both sets of paperwork. These legal deeds are held by multiple people advocating for Lynn Messer.

Property 1) Warrenty Deed conveyed unto KERRY MESSER and wife, LYNN MESSER

Land in Dyer County and Crockett County

Record Book 788, Page 245, Recorded 06/04/2013

Responsible for taxes:

Kerry Messer

6336 State Route Road DD

Festus, MO 63028

Property 2)  

Warrenty Deed conveyed unto KERRY MESSER and wife, LYNN MESSER

Land in Dyer County and Crockett County

Deed Book 150, Page 231, Recorded 06/04/2013

Responsible for taxes:

Kerry Messer

6336 State Routh Road DD

Festus, MO 63028

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More: I’m just a poor man who can’t make financial ends meet without your help:

Kerry Messer dentist

Below is a picture of the duplex Kerry owns in Jefferson City. A very prudent financial real estate decision. Often you can live in one side while renting out the other side to pay the mortgage; but my understanding is that this property is paid for. So another wise financial investment for Kerry.  Doesn’t he also live mortgage free on his parent’s old farm?

Kerry Messer duplex

Below: Kerry can’t afford to fix his duplex in Jefferson City and needs to find someone who will provide materials and labor for him.

Kerry Messer plumbing

*Above 2 pictures are from Find Lynn Messer II public Facebook page.

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My hope for putting all the financial information in one location is to make it easier for concerned family members, local citizens, and readers to understand the probable duplicitous personality that I think is easily established by Kerry Messer’s own words and actions.

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Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

Entire fundraising letter:

“I/we are often asked a common question that is worded various ways but with the same meaning. It is usually something like, “How do you handle the stress of the capitol culture without going crazy?” Or, “How have you managed to deal with the constant frustrations of working with so many politicians for so many years?”

After 27 years of full time service with Missouri Family Network the answers remain the same. First this is ministry, not work. With a deep conviction from the Lord we remain committed to this calling even though the effort is enormous. This is a faith ministry, meaning we do NOT have a salary or regular source of income. MFN demands full time attention and we survive off of the donations of those willing to support this ministry. On the rare occasions I tried to work outside the ministry for some kind of a paycheck, the Lord quickly brings me back to His plan for full time faith ministry.

Through the tough times, we have learned to be patient and trust. Along the way the Lord has also taught us to voice our needs in various ways. And even though I have never grown comfortable with fundraising, we manage to get by with minimal fundraising and maximum effort directed at the important battlefronts. We’re committed to low-key fundraising efforts with very few letters or “the sky is falling” communications.

We are confident in the ministry calling of Missouri Family Network and the Lord has given us a special and personal peace about the financial strains we often face!

Likewise, the Lord has allowed me a special grace in dealing with lawmakers that is far from my personal tolerance or patience. And to assist in this particular grace is the fact that when we lost our first home to the strains of this ministry, God had a bigger and better plan that has proven to be one of the biggest blessings of our life. When we moved back to the family farm and into an old dilapidated, and abandoned farmhouse, we had no idea the depth of what the Lord was doing in our lives.

For the last 25 years we have had the privilege to live and raise children (now grandchildren) around the additional labors of caring for cattle and the many experiences of rural farm life. This is how I have maintained my sanity through the years! Yes this does in fact eat up what little time we have outside the ministry, but the physical labors and joys of farming are clearly my personal escape.

Why am I sending you an email about this subject?

Simply because this is one of those rare fundraising letters that I hate to send out, but must.

Here is our current situation:

2011 has been a VERY difficult year. Going into December we are at the lowest financial point we have ever faced in closing out our annual books. Donations have been within their relative parameters, but we have been hit with several unusual and unexpected expenses. We have been saddled with some significant ministry obligations that are handicapping us.

(Just to note; over the years several organizations have formally asked us to be their official representative (lobbyist) at the state capitol, to which we have agreed to some. In more recent years this has resulted in some confusion and we often hear folks express that they thought these relationships were based on employment, thus resulting in a drop in donations.)

For clarification allow me to list the eight “principles” I am registered with as
representing within the capitol as required by the Missouri Ethics Commission:

Missouri Family Network – (defending traditional families on all pro-family issues)
Americans United for Life – (the nation’s oldest pro-life legal strategy think-tank)
Alliance for Life, Missouri – (Missouri’s largest pro-life network of local PRCs)
Families for Home Education – (home school families & related education policy)
Missouri Baptist Convention – Christian Life Commission – (various Biblical concerns)
MO Assn. of Christian Child Care Agencies (religious liberties of residential ministries)
Samaritan Ministries International – (an international health care sharing ministry)
Missourians for Personal Safety – (Missouri’s Second Amendment organizations)

It is important to explain that I am NOT employed by any of these organizations beyond the donations to MFN which, in part, keeps the food on the table and the lights on, as well as the many ministry demands. All the other groups only provide their own donations to help MFN. There are no salaries, no insurance plans, no benefits, and no pensions.

As we are preparing for the 2012 legislative season we are drafting proposals and gearing up for the early January session of the Missouri General Assembly. But we have a large financial burden hanging over us and we need to raise an additional $21,000 by the end of the year! This is beyond anything we have faced at this late date on the calendar in the past.

WE NEED YOUR HELP!

To compound this situation is the fact that our primary farm truck kicked out its last mile this summer and we have been looking for a way to replace it before winter. Now that cold weather is settling in, the need for a heavy ¾ ton or 1 ton truck is getting serious.

If you have any idea or connection that could assist us with this particular need, we want to hear from you right away. The dead truck is a 1999 Chevy 2500 HD 4×4 and we are hanging onto it in case a replacement truck is compatible for parts. Thus our preference would be either a 2500 or 3500 Chevy (3/4 or 1 ton). A 4 wheel drive is a must, as is a full size bed. Optional details start with preferring a standard cab over an extended one, as close to a 1999 model would allow us to utilize many quality parts for the next few years to come, a steel flat bed (10-12 feet) or standard 8 foot flareside (no stepside or short bed), A/C is not important nor are other frills typical of any vehicle used for travel.

In other words the ‘perfect’ truck for us would be a low mileage 1999 Chevy 3500 HD 4×4, auto trans., with a 12 foot steel dump bed. However, we are in need of a strong work truck and don’t want to be picky beggars. Your prayers and assistance can help us find what the Lord has in store for our needs.

So here is what we would like to ask of you.

Please pray about a special gift of support for the ongoing work of Missouri Family Network – right away.

Then help us pray about finding a farm work truck needed on the home front. A 1999 model is nowhere near the expense of a more recent year. You may know someone who could donate, in part or in whole, to help us keep our sanity in the midst of a stressful political culture. If not, your prayers would still be helpful!”