Toxic Tuesday: Warnings and Red Flags

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Toxic Tuesday: Warnings and Red Flags

I’ve found a few articles written by other bloggers that I know will appeal to the GiveMe Chocolate readers. I’m finding the, ‘cream of the crop,’ articles to help you possibly avoid toxic relationships. I posted one such article recently, “Ten Toxic Traits.”

A question I have often been asked is, “How do we protect our children from abusive, toxic personalities?”

I wish I had an answer. If only there was a full-proof way to avoid such relationships. A 100%—fully healed—heart back—guarantee for those who find themselves living in such a relationship. There isn’t. Christians who are mature, prayer covered people with a daily relationship with God can find themselves in an abusive, toxic relationship. In scripture we find a God-ordained toxic marriage between Hosea and Gomer; recorded in the book of Hosea.

I found another well written article, “Deal Breakers: Advice to Unmarried Women (and Daughters)” at Visionary Womanhood: Because to live courageously, we need to see clearly. The article was written to help women avoid marrying abusers.  In today’s world, full of self-centeredness, pornography, and personality disorders; specifically, narcissistic personality disorder—it’s becoming increasingly difficult to recognize false advertisers; also known as: A wolf in sheep’s clothing, a street angel and home devil, a biblical fool, a toxic person—an abuser.

Occasionally I can see the search terms entered when people stumble across my blog. Take a look at what some of the search terms are:

  • How to avoid toxic people
  • Help for an abusive Christian marriage
  • Interacting with narcissistic people
  • Why do I allow abusive Christian people to bother me
  • Abusive missionary husband
  • Help for abused missionary married to narcissistic personality disorder
  • How to thrive in an abusive relationship with pastor missionary
  • Difference between immaturity and controlling abusive boyfriend
  • How to confront an abusive person
  • Christian therapeutic separation
  • Covert narcissists
  • Toxic relationships in scripture
  • Does the Bible say I have to stay in an abusive marriage
  • What would Jesus do in an abusive relationship
  • Christian narcissistic personality disorder
  • Leaving a toxic relationship
  • Biblical fool modern-day narcissist
  • Wives that predators choose
  • Emotionally toxic people
  • How to protect from crazy makers
  • Detachment in verbally abusive relationships marriage
  • Scripture to help me trust God to handle abusive person
  • When a narcissist invades your boundaries
  • Writing a letter to someone toxic in your life
  • Manipulators abusers defending yourself
  • How to keep calm and walk away from abusive relationship
  • How to pray for someone in a toxic relationship
  • Biblical fools
  • What does the Bible say about divorcing the mentally ill
  • Traits of a crazy maker husband
  • How toxic people keep you off guard

And the above are just a sampling from a list far too long to include here.


“An abuser doesn’t introduce himself like this, “Hello – it’s nice to meet you. I’d like to take you on a whirlwind romance, sweep you off your feet, marry you, and then abuse you until death do us part.” Tweet This They follow in the footsteps of their father, the devil. They enter your world like an angel of light. A thing of beauty and wonder.” ~ Visionary Womanhood

You NEED to read this! For yourself or for someone you know or love. There are excellent points to ponder, clues to look for, applications to be made, and at the end; there is a humorous video to break the mood of this heavy topic.


Be empowered: Advice to Unmarried Women and Daughters

 Happy Hour with Michelle TeagueMichelle Teague

One day when I was a young wife and mother…I was talking to God about some things that were heavy on my mind…things/issues/people I was having trouble with. By the end of that conversation…He gave me some of His wisdom and insight, which I have applied, to and over, MANY things frustrating me, causing me to feel pain, hurt, etc. (basically anything negative coming from inside of me, or from without). IF I will just run my “stuff” to Him and through Him…no matter what it is, where it came from, and/or who it came from…it will be turned around for good…in my heart first, then outward. In other words… my job is to take it ALL to Him FIRST (even before my husband, girls, friends, and family), so I can receive His understanding, peace, joy, etc… then, others won’t be having to deal with my junk, and I won’t have to, therefore, deal with more junk. ;-) And anytime I have honored Him in this…He has never failed me.  :-) 

‪#‎HeisSOfaithful‬‪#‎runitthroughHimfirst‬ ‪#‎grateful‬ :-)

More about Michelle…(click here) 

Jer 616 promise



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They hate you because they hate Jesus in you.

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.” John 15:18 (NIV)

They cannot tolerate your calmness in the storm, your resolve to listen only to your Savior in trust and obedience, and your ability to not allow their arrows to penetrate your heart, soul, mind and strength. Little does the abusive person know; Jesus is deflecting the arrows from ever reaching you as your gaze it set on Him.

Mindset of abusive people:
self control or lack thereof




Happy Hour with Michelle Teague…

Michelle Teague

I have had the pleasure of knowing Michelle for sixteen years and I’m blessed to call her friend. I taught her youngest daughter at a Christian Moms’ Day Out program for three years. I grew to know her more closely the following three years through our local homeschool group where we spent time in each other’s home for play dates between our children. Although we each moved away from Stillwater, Oklahoma, to different states we have maintained a long distance friendship through the years.

Michelle is now from the Franklin, Tennessee, area where she lives with her husband, Rick. They have three daughters, one son (in-law), and two of the sweetest, cutest grandbabies; each with personality to the max!

Michelle’s heart for the Lord is beautiful and her ability to hear from Him and apply His words, heart and ministry in a mentoring, life coach kind of way to a hurting world is a top priority to her. She is a breath of positive purpose served with joy, encouragement, tenderness and love; steeped in prayerful communication with her Abba Father.

Michelle loves the Lord and has a passion, drive and heart for God’s children to live life to the fullest. She often encourages her Facebook friends, through the tool of social media, by sharing lessons the Lord is teaching her. I will pass her nuggets of wisdom on to you.

I’m confident that Michelle’s relationship with the Lord, her history, her ministry training and gifting, her compassion, and her prayer life make her a great mentor for the GiveMe Chocolate audience.

I love her and you’ll soon see why!


“If we don’t think, plan, dream bigger than ourselves…then, we are better able to take credit for whatever happens in our lives…making it easier to leave God out. SO raise the bar SO high there’s no doubt WHO really did it!!”  :-)   ~Michelle Teague


Look next week for: “Happy Hour with Michelle”

Kick back after a hard day of work and enjoy the intoxicating goodness of true Love and Wisdom. The GiveMe Chocolate ‘Bar’ won’t put a dent in your wallet!


Toxic Tuesday: Ten Toxic Traits

Pride vs Humility

This is straight-forward. The below article describes how the traits of legalism, hypocrisy, guilt trips, nitpicking, maligned motives, guilt by association, ridicule, flattery, intimidation and pressure, and gossip look in a real life setting.

I’m referring to traits of people in the church; not the world. Ouch!

Unfortunately, I can recall times in my life when I participated in some of these sins. I hope you cannot say the same, and I pray you are not on the receiving end of these weapons. Talk about unneeded stress!

May the scriptures taught in this article jolt all of us awake to the finished work of Christ on the cross; His love, His mercy, His forgiveness, His ways.

I urge you to read through these one at a time; asking God to show you any truth He wants to teach you, any area He wants to clean, any healing He wants to offer. He is able; and best of all, He is tender!

Enjoy;  but more importantly, apply this quick read: Simple Concepts of Practical Equipping: Ten Toxic Traits.

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Bleeding Hearts

A Valentine’s Day thought…

“A Happy Good Valentine’s Day thought..

Bleeding Hearts

Do you believe God is who He says He is in the Bible?

Do you believe He can do anything He wants; including but not limited to acts recorded in the Bible?

Do you believe God can heal the sick?

Do you believe God can raise the dead?


If God can heal the sick and raise the dead—

He can heal a sick, broken or dead relationship.

It may take time; or it may be instant, complete and permanent.


Do you lack belief in any of the above areas?

Pray for what you lack!

Act in faith—

Your faith demonstrates there is another option though you cannot not see it with your eyes or hear it with your ears. You can’t explain it but you see it with your faith. It exists because your Father in Heaven can do whatever pleases Him; and your faith pleases Him.


Below is a post from Beth Moore’s Living Proof Blog:


A Valentine’s Post: I Believe and I Don’t


I believe in romance.

I believe in the love between a man and a woman.

I believe that love can be sustained for a lifetime.

I believe in falling back in love over and over.

I believe in making up.

I believe that good marriages are wed of soft hearts and hard heads: a tenderness to love and be loved and a tenacity too bone-headed to quit.

I believe that laughter lasts longer than sex.

I believe that many people marry people they do not love.

I believe that desperation gets confused with affection.

I believe that many couples divorce that could have made it.

I believe that God can resurrect hearts that are stone-cold dead and create love between a couple ex nihilo.

Continue Reading: Because life’s just not always great. But, man, it can be good.

Thought for the day…


“This year, let us ask God to dissolve all our hopes into a single hope: to know Christ and to be found in Him. May this be a year of desire radically transformed, a deeper, truer, knowing of Christ as our All-Sufficient One.”

~Elisabeth Elliot