Toxic Tuesday: Manifesto of the Duplicitous

Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard

For those of you who believe a Christ follower, pastor, church leader, soul winner, family values proponent, or godly leader in a high position could never abuse a child, rape a woman, murder a loved one, or steal from the church…have you read the Bible? The heart is deceitful above all things. Spiritually saved or unsaved humanity is capable of the darkest offenses.

Here is an excerpt of a letter from an individual who was previously in a position of authority, leadership and influence over, unknown to them, a toxic character. Of this corrupted personality the above mentioned leader wrote:  “He…

“…was duplicitous and deceptive, living a double life, disconnected from reality, certainly from spiritual reality.”

Here are the personal values of the Jekyll and Hyde described in the above quote. A soul in a bottomless pit of sexual addiction, a personality disorder, and mental illness.  A creature who blindly victimized the unsuspecting, the simple, the harmless and the innocent.   Who, by society’s standards, is an impostor perpetrating the vilest offenses.

This offender was hired by a church leadership which didn’t dig into the accused offender’s background. Rumors swirled but the leadership believed the offenders spin rather than doing a background check. Because of the church leadership’s lack of integrity to protect their flock innocent children were harmed.

This manifesto was penned to prove sincere devotion to God, to the ex-spouse, to the church, and to show they were healed and worthy of trust, respect, forgiveness and reconciliation.

  1. The economy of this nation depends on my acceptance of personal responsibility.
  2. I will seek to understand and empathize with others.
  3. My family is this nation’s citizenship.
  4. My family and friends are carefully selected allies with whom I have agreed to never war against.
  5. My happiness is not my first goal. Meeting my responsibilities is.
  6. True happiness is found in maintaining and growing in my relationships with God and others.
  7. I must daily be reminded that faith, decency and honor are the highest virtues of man.
  8. A poorly kept house is the first sign of danger: it is the thing most found in slums.
  9. Depression is a state of mind that wrecks the economy — not the reverse.
  10. Appreciation for nature and the arts are essential to maintaining health and centeredness.
  11. God is my First Love; my family and friends come second; I am third.
  12. I must gain independence before I can become interdependent with others.
  13. My attitudes, moods, and expressions must always be a reflection of God’s grace.
  14. God is Sovereign over the affairs of this and every life.
  15. ln every conflict and in every war — whether found from without or from within …is a Iust for what one hasn’t. May the passion of my heart, mind, soul, and strength be to love God completely; and my neighbor as myself.
  16. Faith, Hope, and Love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
  17. lf I bring anything of value, and pour it into the lives of others during my lifetime, may it all be of eternal value and for the good — not of taxing pain nor hurt by telling lies, victimizing others, nor of a pursuit for my own selfish gain and ambition.
  18. l am saved by Grace through Faith … my focus is not, nor can it be, on my righteousness for I have none. My focus is on Jesus Christ – the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He alone is the Righteousness of God, Who is received by Faith, reflected by Obedience, and revealed in Love.
  19. Although I have inherited a sinful nature, I am not captive to it. I have died to sin, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. He is my Hope of Glory.
  20. My life is a constant effort to remove idols and to tear down barriers. The television is my most visible idol and enemy.
  21. My daily regiment must include physical, mental, emotional, vocational, and most of all, spiritual exercise.
  22. Every meal should be eaten at the table.
  23. The windows should not be covered while the master is home. Light must be allowed to pour in.
  24. I will laugh and entertain with a clean sense of humor.
  25. Monotone fails to inspire … l will use effective and sincere inflections to motivate, challenge, and uplift others.
  26. l am committed to sexual and otherwise moral purity and excellence.
  27.  l will seek revival and restoration daily through confession, repentance and recommitment.
  28.  l will surrender my anger, frustrations, anxieties, and struggles to God daily.
  29.  I am a living sacrifice, not conforming to the world, but being transformed by the renewing of my mind.
  30.  Not a cent should be spent without giving thought to paying off every debt and investing for the future; however, it is acceptable to feed the birds on occasion.
  31.  The house and grounds are to reflect excellence and beauty – the canvass for a creative mind.
  32.  I am not an abuser who robs others of joy, but a gift-giver who offers all of myself to feed the souls of others consistently and in such a way that grows far beyond myself to touch lives within a darkened world in a very special, illuminating way.
  33.  Early to bed and early to rise, as a flexible rule.
  34.  My heart will not be allowed to grow cold, nor my conscience to be hardened. But I will maintain a sensitivity to things of beauty and a love for the Divine.
  35.  l will maintain a strong defense and readiness for personal or civil action as needs demand.
  36.  ‘The former ways” — even if only idealistic — are still to be desired over all others.
  37.  I will speak up and take a stand, even when unpopular, for the right.
  38.  I love my God, my family, His church, and the United States of America, and will honor, respect, and remember those who are older and wiser – and those who have gone before us.
  39.  The Bible will be open and visible in my home.
  40.  All I have is the Lord’s.
  41.  Verbal prayers will proceed every meal and will be said at the beginning and end of every day.
  42.  I will share my faith and the Gospel message with someone every day.
  43.  I will offer tithes and offerings, as God provides, to His storehouse, the Church.
  44.  l will not limit God by my unbelief but will seek to discover and fulfill His will for my life and for the lives of those entrusted to my care.
  45.  I will remember that humility honors God and welcomes His blessing.
  46.  I will remember that God seeks a bold, not weak faith in His ability rather than my own.
  47.  I will remember that Jesus died for the sins of the entire world, not just for those in my tiny little circle.
  48.  l will remember holy days – birthdays, anniversaries, and celebrations.
  49.  I will maintain and build upon close and distant past and present friendships.
  50.  Only Jesus can erase sin and hold it no longer to my account: yet it is my responsibility to perform the ongoing ministry of reconciliation – that of healing and re-uniting broken relationships.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In light of innocent victims; numbers 15, 17, 23 and 32 are the most disturbing to me. Number 32 is off the charts unhealthy and twisted when considered in the context of predator and victim.

15.  ln every conflict and in every war — whether found from without or from within…is a Iust for what one hasn’t. May the passion of my heart, mind, soul, and strength be to love God completely; and my neighbor as myself.

17.   lf I bring anything of value, and pour it into the lives of others during my lifetime, may it all be of eternal value and for the good — not of taxing pain nor hurt by telling lies, victimizing others, nor of a pursuit for my own selfish gain and ambition.

23.  The windows should not be covered while the master is home. Light must be allowed to pour in.

32.   I am not an abuser who robs others of joy, but a gift-giver who offers all of myself to feed the souls of others consistently and in such a way that grows far beyond myself to touch lives within a darkened world in a very special, illuminating way.

I share this as a wake-up call to those in positions of leadership; especially within the church. If someone hands you a value statement similar to this; it may be time to pursue professional help for them.

The power of prayer and the courage of little ‘David’ voices against their Goliath put an end to this reign of ‘gift-giving’ and ‘illuminating’ abuse.

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20 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissist

Do you have dysfunctional family dynamics or know someone who does? If you were raised by a parent with narcissistic personality disorder you will relate to these statements. Many of the sayings apply to being raised by someone with any type of personality disorder, but all of the below testimonials will validate children, young or grown, of a parent, or parents, with narcissistic personality disorder.

NPD 000NPD 67

Narcissist:

Someone so toxic they are willing to jeopardize

anybody’s reputation or future, including their own children,

to help themself get out of a sticky situation, conversation, sin, or

crime.  In their personality disordered mind it’s no big deal.

NPD 64NPD 62Toxic40NPD 58NPD 56NPD 44NPD 37NPD 27NPD 21NPD 16NPD 6toxic people boundariesToxic48Toxic47

narc parent 2narc parent 4

Narc parent

Aarron Messer: Prison, Love, Desertion

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Photo Credit: J.B. Forbes, jforbes@post-dispatch.com

Lynn Messer was thought to be missing almost three years ago on July 8, 2014. Her husband Kerry Messer, 57, a conservative Jefferson City lobbyist, claims he woke in the early morning hours at his Ste. Genevieve home to find his then 52-year-old wife missing.

We now know Lynn was not missing, but deceased. Her skeletal remains were discovered on Nov. 1, 2016, in the woods on the back edge of one of the family farm’s cow pastures.

Kerry, on the morning of July 8, 2014, demanded multiple times for his son Abram to move the cows across the area where Lynn’s scent trail would be found later that  morning, this trail led to the cow pasture where Lynn’s remains were found. This has been confirmed by the Ste. Genevieve Sheriff’s Office (Also reported on: Investigation Discovery: Disappeared -American Gothic.)

Aarron Messer and his daughters were scouting the same cow pasture for areas to hunt on Nov. 1, 2016, when one of Aarron’s daughters spotted what she thought was a human skull. Aarron, upon closer look, confirmed it and instantly believed it was his mom’s remains. The authorities were called and the woods were immediately considered a crime scene while the sheriff’s department, along with the FBI, collected forensic evidence to help find answers.

At this time forensics have confirmed that Lynn was in the elements the entire time. There are still no results on the cause of death and soil sample results have not been released.

Once again, Aarron Messer is allowing me to share a personal letter from his Facebook page. These are his words through which he shares his opinion of what he thinks transpired in the middle of the night and early morning hours of July 8, 2014. Aarron confirms Abram’s claims that they did not abandon their father; but rather, Kerry deserted his entire family.

From Aarron Joseph Messer:

I want to share with you all my heart.

In many ways it hurts to imagine all the worst possible reasons my mother ended up where she was left. I don’t want to accept or embrace those theories yet I cannot deny the obvious. In my heart I want to believe in an answer much simpler than all the theories.

I would like you to know that in my heart I see a frustrated and confused Kerry. Maybe he had an affair, maybe he didn’t. Maybe he killed my mother, maybe it was suicide, maybe it was an accident, a fight, an argument gone wrong, maybe she accidentally overdosed on pills, or maybe she had a heart attack or blood clot and died in the middle of the night.

However it happened the undeniable is that my father had my mother’s dead body in front of him. In that moment of irrational fear, shame, remorse…whatever it was; he moved her into the woods. Whether it was a premeditated act or just an impulse—he made a horrible decision. He covered it up, he lied, and I called the police. Abram and Elizabeth didn’t tell the story he wanted told. I am certain he thought they would discover her body years ago. But he had already lied. There was no going back and there was no coming clean. His lies were told so much and so often it became truth to him, truth that had to be the way it was. At this point he doesn’t know what’s true, and he will not come clean. He believes his own lies.

Forgive me, but no matter about all the other stuff– insurance, affairs, any of it, I know he hid her and I know he knew where she was 100% of the time. I just could care less though about all the other stuff.  His lies are more than enough—and those lies—that’s what hurts me. I may be abrupt or defensive, it’s not just my whole life and family in question, it’s everything.

I believe in justice and my father belongs in prison. I love him still and I will visit him in prison, but I will stand on the victims side of the court and I will take the stand against him for my mother. But my dad has not been deserted by us, he has left us.

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

Lynn Messer Case: Top 12 Lies

LynnThank you to Abram Messer for once again taking time to answer questions surrounding the investigation of his mom, Lynn Messer’s death.

Today we are pointing out false claims that were made during the early days of Lynn Messer’s disappearance; or what we now know was her death.

Here are the top 12:

  1. On the morning of Lynn’s disappearance, Kerry stated to the Sheriff’s Department that Lynn had never been depressed and had never taken any kind of antidepressants. False: Lynn suffered from depression for years and was taking antidepressants. Facts which many family members were aware of, even Kerry himself was fully aware of this, referring to Lynn’s antidepressants as her “happy pills”.
  2. During Kerry’s time line of the first morning he told the police he didn’t leave the farm. False: He left his phone at home and left the farm. He only admitted to having left the farm after he failed the polygraph in May of 2015. Why would you leave your phone at home when looking for your lost wife? What if you found her hurt, harmed or worse? You would need the phone to call for help. It seems like the most important tool you would want to have with you while searching for a missing person. Well…unless…possibly you don’t want your location to be pinged by law enforcement? 
  3. Kerry has been cooperating with law enforcement. False: Law enforcement revealed in April of 2015 that Kerry was not cooperating with the investigation, and had not been “for quite some time.” All just before investigators informed family members of his new relationship with Spring Thomas
  4. Spring Thomas is just a family friend who has been helping him cope, helping him with eating, and caring for him. False: We know according to law enforcement she has admitted to being in a relationship with Kerry at least 8 weeks after Lynn went missing. Abram has messages from Spring that date the time to at least 6 weeks after Lynn went missing, but he thinks the romantic relationship predated his mom’s death.  He has based this upon the previous years of watching his father interact with Spring. In fact, before Abram knew anything about Kerry’s relationship with Spring, he expressed concern to his father about their inappropriate behavior around one another in the past as well as their behavior around each other when Spring showed up for organized searches to help look for Lynn, after Lynn’s disappearance, on the family farm.
  5. Kerry told law enforcement the first morning that he didn’t make copies of the note. False: He made multiple copies of the note before the police arrived. Months later investigators found out from third parties that Kerry had made copies of the note and was showing it around, but not showing it to his sons.When questioned again about making the copies, Kerry responded by saying “because I knew this was going to be a long drawn out ordeal, and I didn’t know when I was going to get the note back.” So once again investigators scratched their heads wondering, how could he possibly know that this was going to be “a long drawn out ordeal” because that’s certainly not what he told the public, or the family. He took those copies; cutting the note in two and claims to have burned the other half of the note.  In one of the more bizarre interactions when the investigators were asking Kerry about that portion of the note, he said, “I told her not to write that.” The officer asking him stopped and said “what did you tell her not to write?” And Kerry said, “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to correct myself, I did not just say I told her not to write that- that is not what I said.” He has never explained how or what he could have meant by that. Just that he accidentally let slip that he watched her write the note, and that he criticized what she had written, and maybe that explains why he cut out that portion of the note and burned it. Perhaps he knows that it doesn’t have anything to do with Lynn’s disappearance?
  6. The note: Kerry told law enforcement and media he didn’t understand the note and it didn’t make sense. False: He told his sons that law enforcement demanded he, Kerry, not talk to his sons about the note. False:  In private he told Abram and Aarron he understood the note and understood it from the beginning.  Aarron’s daughter commented nonchalantly “Grandma didn’t write that.” “What do you mean?” Aarron asked.  She replied, “Grandma didn’t call grandpa, “Pa” she called him “Pop.” That’s correct. Grandpa would get so frustrated and correct her because he wanted to be called Pa, but she called him “Pop.” These facts and others have only been complicated by the way Kerry took a portion of the note which he retained, enlarged it, and enhanced the lettering for a TV interview he orchestrated. 
  7. Different articles and Facebook posts over the last two years led readers to believe Lynn’s husband, Kerry, was the one who called the sheriff’s office. Several media outlets have stated that Kerry called 911. False:  Kerry had over four hours in which he could have called law enforcement—but did not. At least a four hour window of time for Lynn to have been missing exists, but if one retraces the timeline there are possibly eight hours of missing time during which something could have happened to Lynn.
  8. Kerry passed his polygraph. False:  Kerry (that we know of) has taken two polygraph tests. The first one, was considered “inconclusive” and the second polygraph which he took in May of 2015 was considered an outright failure. 
  9. On Facebook Kerry publicly pines away for his “bride.” False: In private he pursued secret and private rendezvous with another woman. Even after claiming that his relationship with Spring is on hold, he still continues to actively lie and hide her. Abram describes; “He puts on a public act of piety. In private engaging in sin. The word of God repeatedly warns us about making a public profession while our hearts are far from God. We must all be aware of the biblical cautions for attempting to “serve God and man.” These attempts to serve God while secretly gratifying our own lusts exemplifies what the word of God calls a double minded man who is unstable in all his ways.”
  10. Kerry has repeatedly claimed that no evidence has been found. False: Lynn’s scent trail was immediately found and it led through the field where Kerry had Abram move to cows early the first morning. Which, in the end, led to where Lynn’s body was recovered. Kerry chose to hide this information from family, friends, supporters, and Lynn’s extended family. Adding emotional, mental, and psychological stress to their lives through worry and efforts of mile after mile daily searching— month after month, and year after year. Efforts which were still active until her remains were discovered.  “They found a towel in the edge of the creek (on the back corner of the farm) that had been washed up,” Abram said. “One of the reasons we were rechecking all of the creeks is because we were hoping and praying if she was out there somewhere, there might have been something, anything that could have been washed down in that significant rain. “(After the towel was spotted) “We get up to this towel that is laying in the edge of the grass, which had obviously been washed up there and my father walks up to the towel and says, ‘has anybody touched it?’ I told him no, because that was one of the first questions I asked the folks who discovered it originally.” Abram explained that they needed to get the detectives out there. “My father said ‘well I’m going to touch it’ and he reached down and picked it up,” remembered Abram. “Keep in mind this is early August, it’s sweltering hot outside and we are all drenched in sweat. My father picks up this towel, rubs it all over his face, then he rubs it up and down both of his arms, wipes all the sweat off of him, he rubs the back of his neck and then he takes the towel and says he doesn’t think this is anything.” Abram said Kerry said it was some towel that a searcher must have dropped. “As he is saying this, he is vigorously rubbing the towel up and down on the outside of his chest,” recalled Abram. Never mind the fact I’m looking this plain white towel knowing that it matches the other five or 10 plain white towels that they have under their cabinet.” Abram said they now understand the location of that towel was a few hundred yards downhill from where his mother was discovered.  “We had been searching, begging, hoping and praying that we would find something, anything and we did. There is no doubt in my mind, I feel very, very confident, saying publicly and openly that my father has taken very direct active steps into destroying the trail of evidence. (Searchers, including Kerry, were instructed in recovery protocol. They were told NOT to touch anything that was found. Kerry violated this. Why?) Yet, some of Kerry’s lobbying principals expressed glee in how upright, forthright, and honest Kerry has been for keeping them abreast of every detail and development in the case from day one. 
  11. Kerry and Lynn were happy in a loving and abiding marriage. False: There have been witnesses step forward with contrary testimony of what took place in the marriage. See:  Lynn Messer: Random Thoughts  Abram explains, “He had deliberately misrepresented their marriage, relationship, and family structure. They did not have a healthy marriage. Loving husbands do not hide financial information from wives. Christ honoring  husbands love there wives as Christ loved the church. Kerry’s relationship even by his own story telling seems to be one which required Lynn to make personal sacrifices while he enjoyed the public accolades of political achievement. Not the biblical picture of husbands sacrificially giving themselves to their wives. For years his public story telling on Facebook is one which defames Lynn’s honor, promotes himself, while minimizing the severity and impact of his own unbiblical view of marriage.” The Facebook stories seem to be full of fabrications and untruths; according to family members who can recall the real stories. 
  12. Lastly, I will allow Abram to once again use his words. After all the boys have been through they deserve to tell it from their viewpoint; not Kerry’s Find Lynn Messer Facebook version; or how he has deliberately misrepresented the investigation, and especially his family. Kerry has claimed that his son Abram who worked for him in the capital for over a decade has mental problems, and Kerry has accused his entire family of abandoning him and turning their backs on him. False: “Kerry has gone to great lengths to tell absurd and unfounded stories and accusations for the sole purpose of misrepresenting his own children. These obvious attempts on his part to control the narrative reveals not only his own desperation but his desires to suppress the truth. Including but not limited to a consistent theme claiming that he has been abandoned by his family. By all accounts public and private; Kerry’s family members have repeatedly begged him for reconciliation and pleaded for truth and honesty so that Kerry can come to a right relationship with the Lord. Instead, my father has turned his back on us and accused us of abandoning him. When in fact he himself has abandoned his self-professed personal ethos. Choosing the pleasure of sin for a season over the freedom and forgiveness which God himself offers.”

Abram’s closing statement:
The word of God talks extensively about forensics over and over again. We are told things like love covers a multitude of sins. When at all possible live at peace with all men. There is a great balance between these commands and the biblical commands to publicly call out sin; to publicly appeal to the unrepentant heart. We are commanded to show no partiality in the calling out of sin especially sin that exists in the church or a Christian brother…. or father. We are responsible before God to bring a fallen brother back to the Lord. Before any  information became public the family attempted to follow the biblical outline addressing the issues in private and never spoke a word publicly until after the church refused to follow the biblical guidelines. We must remember the purpose of all of this is not to attack, it is not hatred, it is not anger, it is not lashing out, but it is tearful obedience to the commands of God. We don’t get to pick and choose what parts of the Word we feel like being obedient to. Gods Word commands us to publicly call out the unrepentant heart. We all have a responsibility before God to stand for what is right; no matter how hard it is. We will all answer to the Great Judge and give an account for every word and deed. The truth is not contingent upon who knows it or who believes it. The truth does not change because it is a hard pill to swallow.  The truth doesn’t change because we don’t like it. It doesn’t change because it is uncomfortable; in fact, the word of God tells us that the truth is not easy. It tells us rather that people will hate us for speaking it.  It tells us we must be willing to give everything for the cause of Christ… our home, the things that we love, the job that we love, and even the people we love so that we may walk upright before God.”

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

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Lynn Messer: Random Thoughts

C.S. Lewis 1

C.S. Lewis 3

Today I’m answering criticisms Kerry has made at journalists, media outlets, and writers like me on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.

I’ve not made one penny from blogging so I’m not padding my pockets.  I blog for one reason only: Out of obedience to a calling on my life to listen to and pray for women living in abusive ‘Christian’ relationships.

I have no advertisers. I receive no gifts, or financial compensation for the countless hours I spend researching and writing. I do this while homeschooling my children, ministering to numerous local women who are deep in the middle of abuse (or leaving abuse), and while suffering from multiple auto-immune diseases that rack my body with pain, illness and extreme fatigue.

Here’s another random fact. I have several friends living with diseases that rack their bodies with pain, illness, extreme fatigue, joint replacements, insomnia and/or cancer.  None of them have committed suicide. Nor have any of my dear friends who have, or are currently living through, unimaginable, unsafe, abusive marriages committed suicide. Do they become depressed? Of course! It’s impossible not to when living in the middle of such trauma.

Below is my rebuttal to Kerry Messer’s public Find Lynn Messer Facebook page dated Sunday, April 23, 2017. The red font is Kerry Messer’s writing.

According to the Sheriff, (as I understand it) it has been determined that Ma’s remains were in their discovered location the entire time we had been looking for her. There are still far too many unanswered questions which remain, including several newer ones from the discovery and the Sheriff’s release of this detail. This assumption does not necessarily come directly from the sheriff but rather from a reporter who may have taken liberties with the information given to them. The statement was, 

“THE ST. LOUIS COUNTY MEDICAL EXAMINER’S OFFICE STATES IT APPEARS MESSER’S BODY WAS OUT THERE (in the elements) FOR THE TWO YEAR TIME PERIOD.” The statement said nothing about the body being in the same location the entire time. (I will work on confirming this for a next blog post.)

But at least the scope of accusations and attacks have been narrowed by the limited details we at least know for now. Prayerfully additional information may be released that could further narrow the garbage being thrown about by haters. (Certainly no one has stepped forward to admit their false accusations in light of the few things we now know – so I am not holding my breath that any of the haters will have enough integrity to apologize for their attacks.) Lynn’s remains were found on the farm; where we thought they would be found. There is no proof that it was suicide. I think a criminal’s days are numbered. “Mene mene tekel upharsin” Daniel 5. As I have discovered waiting for past investigations to conclude; time is not on the defendant’s side but rather the prosecution’s. I think they are tidying up. I wish they had a tighter time frame for doing this so the family can feel safe, find some amount of closure, and achieve a type of justice for Lynn.

Why or how can so many people, who have never in their lives ever seen or met Ma, think they can be so certain of what happened to her when they have never even so much as looked at her? No one truly knows anyone simply by looking “at” them anyway. You have to look “up” towards someone before you can begin to understand who they are in the first place.

Many of these women have seen and met Lynn. Some of them knew Lynn well. I’m the only one who never personally met Lynn.

For two years Lynn’s story burned in my heart and mind to the point I realized it was a calling. Truly, I didn’t want to act on the calling. I had enough stress in my life without adding any more. I just wanted peace and comfort; and a large helping of it.

For the women who did meet or know Lynn these are the comments I’ve heard from them:

“Knowing that she’s missing; I’ll never forget the first time I met her. I was at a dinner in Jefferson City seated at the same table with Kerry and Lynn. He talked non-stop with most subjects coming back to circle around him. Lynn didn’t look up or participate in the conversation. She was extremely quiet. In my gut I knew something was wrong in her marriage; I suspected abuse.”

“I met her at a fund raiser that she attended with Kerry. She was quiet and didn’t speak much and seemed nervous much of the night.”

“Yes I knew Lynn, yes I knew things most church people didn’t know because those topics were “off limits” at church and if you didn’t conform you were shunned. I was an abused wife at one point in my life. Life with an abuser behind closed doors is a living hell. Lynn’s life was no bed of roses as her husband protests it was, she just never shared it openly. The county is a “good old boy” county so when you have political pull as he does folks tend to overlook what is right in front of their faces. This is a man who doesn’t mind parking in a handicapped spot at church blocking those who need it and when called to his attention would just say “I’m bad” leaving his car in the handicapped spot without having the legal right to do so. This may seem petty but for a man who professes to be “godly” he doesn’t mind breaking the law. “ 

“I met Kerry and Lynn at a large dinner engagement.  Kerry was very domineering and talkative.  Lynn sat silently, sadly and I don’t think she even spoke that night.  My heart went out to her then, and then all these years later when she disappeared, I just cannot get the images of that night and the feeling I felt in my soul that she was a controlled, sad woman out of my mind and heart.”

“Lynn and I go back several years through church. She told me of abusive things that were going on in her marriage. I think Kerry will be shocked to find out how much investigators know. What Kerry claims on the Find Lynn Messer page was not Lynn’s reality.”

My calling to be a voice for women like Lynn reminded me of several years ago when my son had an accident and I was in the E.R. with him. I was clueless as to the seriousness of my son’s injury since it could not be seen. I could feel the weight of the Holy Spirit upon me; communicating to my heart, soul, mind and strength; “Pray for his life. This is your spiritual heritage in the Lord. Seek it.” The physical pressure to go to my knees; to my face was overwhelming. Right in the middle of the E.R.; in the hallway outside the C.T. scan…praying boldly, quickly, obediently…then the doors opened and I was told the life flight helicopter would be there in 19 minutes. “Your son has an epidural hematoma; a severe brain bleed—a severe traumatic brain injury.”

The same overwhelming sense I experienced in the E.R. came as “Do it. Speak for Lynn. Tell your story. Be obedient and use your past pain to have a positive impact. Trust Me.”

I have no idea to this day what the Lord’s full purpose is. I’m not saying Kerry Messer is guilty in the death of his wife. I’m just being courageous enough to say something seems odd. I’m saying that many abused women can testify that abuse or wrongful death is within the realm of possibility. I’m saying that after my extensive background of studying personality disorders, because nothing makes you more interested in such a topic than having to live with such a person, that I think I notice similarities.

My biggest fear in being obedient was that I would channel my past pain and experiences on some poor innocent person.

The consequences of my obedience are in God’s hands. If I’m going to error; I would rather error in faith than in disobedience.

Can any of you locate this C.S. Lewis quote and which book and page number it is from? Please leave a comment by clicking the comment link above if you know the reference. I know of several people looking for this information. My friends, and a family member, who are avid C.S. Lewis readers haven’t been able to place the quote. Please help us. ~Thank you! (UPDATE 5/1/2017 Thank you to Jeannie Pederson, a commenter at Truth Seekers Open Forum on Facebook who suggested using plagiarism websites to research Kerry’s C.S. Lewis quote. After 9 days of asking Kerry Messer for the source of the quote, multiple Google searches, and 6 different plagiarism sites; it appears Kerry provided a false quote. I’m hoping Kerry can prove otherwise and provide proof of a C.S. Lewis book quote.)

Kerry Messer quoted this in his most recent Facebook post:

C. S. Lewis once wrote, “One of the more common universal traits of the human experience is that most people tend towards putting everyone else into a box. They cannot see nor accept others’ lives without interpreting that other person’s history or being except through their own personal limited experiences or narrow worldview. “We” are even prone to put God Himself into our little boxes; thus our divided Christian communities (and even the pale skinned European concept of Jesus Christ).”

The issue which C. S. Lewis was addressing is mankind’s general tendency to never look “up”. We are all sinners both by nature and by choice. Without self-control and self-discipline we default in the common direction of narrow-minded prejudices. It is unnatural for a person to look “up” and make themselves “see” others from a perspective or worldview different from their own experiences. Our nature is only to look “at” one another.

This narrow-mindedness, which results in prejudices of all kinds, is exploited by politicians and the broad scope of advocates globally. It leads to grossly false understandings of anyone who is not cut from the same cloth as oneself. It divides neighbors into sub-cultures and class envy and cultural strife. It dares us to assign preconceived motives to everyone else’s’ motives. And it fuels the arrogance of false judgments, even to the point of baring false witness against someone with no evidence or conviction of guilt. Circumstantial evidence abounds and only investigators, in time, can reveal if there is physical evidence.

This is why a thief distrusts everyone else. It is why an unfaithful person will almost always assume everyone else is unfaithful. And it is why someone who has been deeply hurt by a trusted loved one typically assumes everyone else treats their loved ones badly also.

Sadly, this is also why far too many people cannot accept the love and compassion of Jesus Christ. They simply refuse to see the grace being held out to them by a merciful God. They choose to judge The Lord according to their own personal experiences and hard heartedness.
They cannot bring themselves to “lift their eyes” to look “up” and “see” the Son of God on the cross. It is somehow easier for them to think about God as being judgmental. It fits their idea that they have to find some way to earn God’s approval according to their own reasoning, rather than accept the simplicity of God’s grace.

It is easier to look “at” God and see him through our personal experiences rather than seeing Him for who He is according to His own revelation. And of course our human nature also leads us to swing the pendulum to the other extreme and define His love according to wishful thinking and say that since He is a God of love, He would never let anything bad happen to us. For too many folks The Lord is nothing more than who they reason Him to be in their own minds.

In the same manner, folks pass judgments based on their preconceived notions and their only frame of thoughts come from their limited experiences. Thus the haters will be angry and bitter at anyone who disagrees with them. They actually think they are right!

I lost track of what the point actually was.

I think it was: If only we would look “up” to him and not “at” him.

I think this sounds as malignant as narcissistic personality disorder comes.

I am not diagnosing anyone. There have been no criminal charges filed in the death of Lynn Messer. I am not a psychological, psychiatric, or medical practitioner; therefore any opinions I share are my own and should not be construed as professional advice, but rather for educational consideration only. 

I’ll conclude with part of my bio from the ‘About Me’ page:  Just because we are Christians does not mean we have to be walked all over, verbally shredded, emotionally manipulated, physically harmed, sexually abused or  backed in the corner by those suffering from mental illness who refuse to seek help and healing, by those who refuse to deal with their personality disorder, and/or by those who refuse to turn from their messed up choices. Boundaries are necessary. Safety is achievable. Love is essential.

Sometimes speaking the truth in love isn’t easy; but I hope it helps other people currently living in abusive relationships to see there is hope and healing before it’s too late.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

On a side note: If you had been following the fictitious, public page, Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse on Facebook you have likely noticed that it has disappeared. I was contacted yesterday by the anonymous author of Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse. ‘Someone’ didn’t appreciate the author’s work and reported the page to Facebook.

“The Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse page has been disabled by Facebook admin for “Violating the Facebook Terms”. There is no exact reason listed. They only provide a link to a list of generic possible reasons.”

I hope to have more on this development soon.

In the meantime, here is the last post which a friend of mine snapped pictures of Sunday night. It is for educational purposes only.

Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse; April 22, 2017, 9:58 PM (Public Facebook page)

The pastor’s sermon today was about living a secular and sinful lifestyle. He spoke of the Lord giving us a limited amount of time to repent before striking us down with His righteous judgement. The pastor applied much effort into explaining the importance of repentance and how we will ultimately be held accountable for our own actions.

Although he wasn’t preaching this just for me, it seemed appropriate for my situation. I wonder sometimes if I should feel remorse for my action. It seems logical for me to do so, but I just feel…nothing. No remorse. No repentance. It’s not that I lack all emotion. I feel emotions in other situations: sadness when I lose a friend, anger when I am betrayed or when things don’t go as planned, happiness when I see that special someone, pride at a job well done. So I ask myself, what am I missing?

Guilt.

Some people don’t understand that there is a distinct difference between guilt and regret. Guilt stems from doing something that you wish you hadn’t done. Regret stems from doing something that you wish you would have done differently. Sure I’ve felt regret. Those were the times I was kicking myself for making a decision in haste or anger, instead of taking the time to calm down and use a clear head. I have become familiar with regret at least a few times in my past.

As for guilt and I, we remain strangers. Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet someday.

C.S. Lewis 6C.S. Lewis 7C.S. Lewis 8C.S. Lewis 9

 And one more C.S. Lewis quote sent in by reader Cheryl Bowles Summers:

A moderately bad man knows he is not very good: a thoroughly bad man thinks he is alright. This is common sense really. You understand sleep when you are awake, not well you are sleeping.

 ~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

 

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

Gallery

Kerry Messer’s Finances Revealed

The public deserves to know. It’s amazing how much information is at the public’s fingertips with the tool of the internet.

I wish Lynn had known!

I receive private messages from people who have information on Kerry Messer. Of course, I have no way of proving much of it so I can’t publish it here. Time will literally tell.

Meanwhile, let me assure you that Lynn left behind a treasure trove of people who are determined to secure truth and justice for her. I thank all of you for the countless hours, phone calls, leg work, brain power, passion and heart you are putting in to this. I’ve met some amazing people on this journey and three of you know who you are; I adore you! These three people, one of which is Cheryl Bowles Summers, has aggressively participated in pursuing closure for Lynn and her family. The team over at Facebook’s Find Lynn Messer II has provided non-stop truth; providing a timeline, inaccuracies they believe they find at Kerry’s Find Lynn Messer Facebook page, archived photographic and video evidence, and open dialogue that will not be monitored by deleting comments and questions; like Val and Kerry do on the original Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.

Here are some pieces of conflicting information about Kerry Messer. Much is directly from his own mouth, writing, and photographs.

I present to you…proof:

Kerry Messer distributed the following letter statewide. I received it through my local homeschool group. The date is November 29, 2011. I’m including only the portion that relates to fund-raising. You may read the letter in its entirety at the end of this post.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

This is a faith ministry, meaning we do NOT have a salary or regular source of income. MFN demands full time attention and we survive off of the donations of those willing to support this ministry. 

 And even though I have never grown comfortable with fundraising, we manage to get by with minimal fundraising and maximum effort directed at the important battlefronts. We’re committed to low-key fundraising efforts with very few letters or “the sky is falling” communications.

We are confident in the ministry calling of Missouri Family Network and the Lord has given us a special and personal peace about the financial strains we often face!

Why am I sending you an email about this subject?

Simply because this is one of those rare fundraising letters that I hate to send out, but must.

Here is our current situation:

2011 has been a VERY difficult year. Going into December we are at the lowest financial point we have ever faced in closing out our annual books. Donations have been within their relative parameters, but we have been hit with several unusual and unexpected expenses. We have been saddled with some significant ministry obligations that are handicapping us.

(Just to note; over the years several organizations have formally asked us to be their official representative (lobbyist) at the state capitol, to which we have agreed to some. In more recent years this has resulted in some confusion and we often hear folks express that they thought these relationships were based on employment, thus resulting in a drop in donations.)

For clarification allow me to list the eight “principles” I am registered with as
representing within the capitol as required by the Missouri Ethics Commission:

Missouri Family Network – (defending traditional families on all pro-family issues)
Americans United for Life – (the nation’s oldest pro-life legal strategy think-tank)
Alliance for Life, Missouri – (Missouri’s largest pro-life network of local PRCs)
Families for Home Education – (home school families & related education policy)
Missouri Baptist Convention – Christian Life Commission – (various Biblical concerns)
MO Assn. of Christian Child Care Agencies (religious liberties of residential ministries)
Samaritan Ministries International – (an international health care sharing ministry)
Missourians for Personal Safety – (Missouri’s Second Amendment organizations)

It is important to explain that I am NOT employed by any of these organizations beyond the donations to MFN which, in part, keeps the food on the table and the lights on, as well as the many ministry demands. All the other groups only provide their own donations to help MFN. There are no salaries, no insurance plans, no benefits, and no pensions.

As we are preparing for the 2012 legislative season we are drafting proposals and gearing up for the early January session of the Missouri General Assembly. But we have a large financial burden hanging over us and we need to raise an additional $21,000 by the end of the year! This is beyond anything we have faced at this late date on the calendar in the past.

WE NEED YOUR HELP!

To compound this situation is the fact that our primary farm truck kicked out its last mile this summer and we have been looking for a way to replace it before winter. Now that cold weather is settling in, the need for a heavy ¾ ton or 1 ton truck is getting serious.

If you have any idea or connection that could assist us with this particular need, we want to hear from you right away. The dead truck is a 1999 Chevy 2500 HD 4×4 and we are hanging onto it in case a replacement truck is compatible for parts. Thus our preference would be either a 2500 or 3500 Chevy (3/4 or 1 ton). A 4 wheel drive is a must, as is a full size bed. Optional details start with preferring a standard cab over an extended one, as close to a 1999 model would allow us to utilize many quality parts for the next few years to come, a steel flat bed (10-12 feet) or standard 8 foot flareside (no stepside or short bed), A/C is not important nor are other frills typical of any vehicle used for travel.

In other words the ‘perfect’ truck for us would be a low mileage 1999 Chevy 3500 HD 4×4, auto trans., with a 12 foot steel dump bed. However, we are in need of a strong work truck and don’t want to be picky beggars. Your prayers and assistance can help us find what the Lord has in store for our needs.

So here is what we would like to ask of you.

Please pray about a special gift of support for the ongoing work of Missouri Family Network – right away.

Then help us pray about finding a farm work truck needed on the home front. A 1999 model is nowhere near the expense of a more recent year. You may know someone who could donate, in part or in whole, to help us keep our sanity in the midst of a stressful political culture. If not, your prayers would still be helpful!”

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kerry did receive the truck; how much money he received I do not know. I was informed by a person in attendance at this ‘fund raiser’ that Kerry received a big new truck and that the event was attended by well known conservative pillars of the community; along with state reps and politicians.

Weeks after Lynn disappeared Kerry posted this:Kerry Messer summer of distraction

Below: From MFN’s webpage. A way to place secure financial donations.

Kerry Messer MFN donate

I hardly call a missing loved one a ‘distraction’. I would call it a summer of crisis, of personal trauma, a sanity stealer…but not a distraction!

Perhaps his so-called ‘summer of distraction’ could have been better summarized as his, Spring of distraction; as in Spring Thomas who detectives discovered was romantically linked to Kerry within weeks of Lynn’s disappearance.

As reported, Spring is an only child of deceased parents and she lives on a large acreage in an upscale St. Louis suburb. In other words; she’s sitting on a large amount of money with no immediate family descendants.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Here is Kerry’s current financial appeal at MissouriFamilyNetwork.net

Kerry Messer donations please

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Families Share Stories of Missouri’s Missing

“I have zero belief that she’s still alive, but without finding her, I’m stuck,” he (Messer) said.

One of the few things that has kept him going is God and lobbying for legislation at the Capitol. He’s been a full-time volunteer lobbyist for several decades, but his missing wife has given him a purpose.

Volunteer: (noun) a person who freely offers to take part in an enterprise or undertake a task. (verb) Freely offer to do something.  I don’t believe volunteer fits what Kerry does.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Press Release: “Support the Hurting” Hunter Awareness of Missing Person Cases

 

As a prominent pro-family lobbyist well known not only for his past 30 years of work at the State Capitol, Mr. Messer is also recognized for his ministry among the broad spectrum of public officials, staff and government relations professionals in Jefferson City. As a result, support and assistance has come from all corners of the State.

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Thanks to Cheryl Bowles Summers for this addition: Another important tid-bit of information to keep in mind is although most people believe Missouri Family Network is a non-profit, “MFN is a for-profit entity and that Kerry’s ‘Support the Hurting’ was non-profit, but was shut down by the state for its failure to comply with reporting regulations – however, its FB page and website are still active. “

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

CLC weighs future fiscal challenges, cuts to come

By Allen Palmeri

Associate Editor

*Here’s an excerpt. It may be read in it’s entirety by clicking on the article’s text.

LINN—The Christian Life Commission (CLC) of the Missouri Baptist Convention (MBC) met May 15 at First Baptist Church here under new leadership that expressed concerns about a tighter budget to come and how to spend wisely.

A cut in the MMO budget from $15,000 to $11,000 in 2011 led to discussion on how the CLC would adjust. It was agreed that the cut would be manageable with prudent spending and no anticipated new expenses. The bulk of this portion of the CLC budget, $9,000, goes to a legislative coordinator, Kerry Messer, who serves as the legislative liasion at the State Capitol for Missouri Baptists.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And this direct quote of Kerry Messer’s from the Missouri Times…

The Missouri Family Network doesn’t have fancy offices or any high-profile lobbyists. Messer said the reason is simple — money isn’t important to him. Messer does not actively fund raise for his non-profit network and he and his family live off the small but continuous flow of donations, largely from private citizens.

“There’s no job security, no health or life insurance, and I’m comfortable with that,”

Not true: 1) MFN is a for-profit organization. 2) Kerry had access to free financial help through Samaritan Ministries medical sharing/expense program. 3) There was life insurance on Lynn, Abram, and Elizabeth at the time of Lynn’s disappearance.

Kerry Messer Samaritans 3

Kerry Messer Samaritans 2

Find Lynn Messer II public Facebook page  – Letter regarding Samaritan Ministries….

Lynn had hip surgery at Barnes in August, 2013. No insurance. One year later, in July 2014 (the month she went missing), he filed a request with Samaritan Ministries for assistance with her bill, even though they weren’t covered because they weren’t members at that time. I am a member, and personally received the fund request. I asked Kerry how I would be sure the money would go to her hospital bills, as the checks were to be made out directly to him. He gave me a convoluted answer (imagine that), so I called Barnes to pay directly on her bill, and accounting told me her balance was zero due to the fact they received financial assistance. If you take the time to research, folks that post “special needs requests” at Samaritan Ministries can get up to $400 per day in non-traceable money directly to their mailbox.

From Cheryl Bowles Summers: I made contact with Samaritan Ministries, and on their website, they said that their annual financial report is available upon request. So…I requested it. They are supposed to be emailing it to me, but I haven’t seen it yet. They also said that they are looking into the situation with Kerry and will have a response soon.”

Good for her since Samaritan’s Ministry cut me, Carolyn, off when I called to ask questions. Thank you to any other readers who also called. It sounds like they understand they will have to make a decision regarding their relationship with Kerry Messer.

Also from Cheryl Bowles Summers:  I posted on FHE’s FB page, “Does anyone have an accurate email address for FHE staff? I’ve sent several messages and haven’t gotten any response.” 
Response:
Dear Mrs. Summers,
This will acknowledge receipt of your recent correspondence.
Your comments have been provided to our Board for their prayerful consideration.
Sincerely, Al and Sheryl Schmidt
Families for Home Education Executive Directors
Then her question was promptly taken down as all of our questions and comments are removed from their page. Have any of you heard back from FHE in reply to your concerns? Cheryl is the first person I know of who has heard back.
Do FHE board members understand that when they correctly, biblically deal with the Kerry Messer issue their stress level will reduce?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And Kerry’s quote from Missouri Digital News; May 13, 2011:

“I hope I can witness for Christ to help restore our culture and our nation to the truths of God,” he adds. “No one is paying me to be here,” said Kerry Messer, “I can’t afford to be here. But it’s OK, because I feel convicted and I have a peace in my life that I am doing what the Lord has called me to do.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Child Abuse ad Neglect Board: appointed by the governor

Mr. Kerry K. Messer
Member 3
Festus
Term begins: Jun 1, 2012
Term expires: Apr 7, 2013 (Remained active through 2016; current: unknown)

Compensation: Members receive reimbursement for realized and necessary expenses.

This position required filing financial disclosure statements which are obtainable through the Sunshine law in Missouri.  Kerry Messer has no financial disclosures on file; which means he didn’t have expenses. The Missouri Ethics Commission also has no financial disclosures on file for Kerry as a lobbyist.

My question is: Since it appears Kerry Messer has no in office expenditures or professional expenses why does he actively fund raise for Missouri Family Network? I understand he needs travel and living expenses, but so much?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Since my last post, Who Retains Kerry Messer: Here’s the List, I have learned that many of the organizations listed in that article do pay out money to Kerry Messer for his services; substantial amounts. No one organization provides enough for a year’s living salary, but combined? It’s a fair amount; add to that the financial fund raising letters he mails out to the homeschooling community, along with private donations (by Kerry’s own admission they provide the most money) and one can see how his accumulated land holdings are very near $1,000,000, if not over. This week also brought the revelation that Kerry’s home church, First Baptist Church Festus/Crystal City, has a category in their financial data base where mission money received for Kerry Messer’s Missouri Family Network is recorded. (I verified that Kerry has been a mission beneficiary; however, the monetary amount is unknown.)

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Who is Kerry Messer #3 (Find Lynn Messer II public Facebook page)

Anyone who follows Kerry’s Facebook posts is familiar with his I’m Poor schtick. A whole different financial portfolio has already been uncovered. You can read the part of his post November 6, 2014 that says “Hill country farming is a wonderful chosen lifestyle. It is the world’s best place to raise children and grandchildren! But cattle and baling hay in these rocky hills does not produce a working income. We are totally dependent upon donations from our lackluster fundraising”. (Lackluster: lacking in vitality, force, or conviction; uninspired or uninspiring.) 

He sure managed to build quite a net worth secretly while Lynn worried about buying groceries though! Here is a photo of his tractor collection that is time stamped 10-22-2015. Looky how they are all lined up nice too.

Kerry Messer tractor pic
Below: list of tractor values
Kerry Messer tractors
The Missouri Times July 20, 2013
Below is the proof of the opposite.
Kerry’s other farm subsidies (free money) from the USDA: Click on the below links for yearly amounts.
Kerry Messer USDA subsidy info
Kerry Messer USDA subsidy info
And let’s not forget about the land he owns in Arkansas and Tennessee.
Below pic is for the land in Crockett County, Tennessee. The other half is in Dyer county.
Kerry Messer land
Kerry Messer land 2
I also have full PDF Deed files for the land Kerry bought in Tennessee. Because of legality questions I’m not publically posting them, but you may click and send a ‘comment’ above if you need to see the evidence. I will send you a private message with the PDF files for both sets of paperwork. These legal deeds are held by multiple people advocating for Lynn Messer.

Property 1) Warrenty Deed conveyed unto KERRY MESSER and wife, LYNN MESSER

Land in Dyer County and Crockett County

Record Book 788, Page 245, Recorded 06/04/2013

Responsible for taxes:

Kerry Messer

6336 State Route Road DD

Festus, MO 63028

Property 2)  

Warrenty Deed conveyed unto KERRY MESSER and wife, LYNN MESSER

Land in Dyer County and Crockett County

Deed Book 150, Page 231, Recorded 06/04/2013

Responsible for taxes:

Kerry Messer

6336 State Routh Road DD

Festus, MO 63028

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

More: I’m just a poor man who can’t make financial ends meet without your help:

Kerry Messer dentist

Below is a picture of the duplex Kerry owns in Jefferson City. A very prudent financial real estate decision. Often you can live in one side while renting out the other side to pay the mortgage; but my understanding is that this property is paid for. So another wise financial investment for Kerry.  Doesn’t he also live mortgage free on his parent’s old farm?

Kerry Messer duplex

Below: Kerry can’t afford to fix his duplex in Jefferson City and needs to find someone who will provide materials and labor for him.

Kerry Messer plumbing

*Above 2 pictures are from Find Lynn Messer II public Facebook page.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

My hope for putting all the financial information in one location is to make it easier for concerned family members, local citizens, and readers to understand the probable duplicitous personality that I think is easily established by Kerry Messer’s own words and actions.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

Entire fundraising letter:

“I/we are often asked a common question that is worded various ways but with the same meaning. It is usually something like, “How do you handle the stress of the capitol culture without going crazy?” Or, “How have you managed to deal with the constant frustrations of working with so many politicians for so many years?”

After 27 years of full time service with Missouri Family Network the answers remain the same. First this is ministry, not work. With a deep conviction from the Lord we remain committed to this calling even though the effort is enormous. This is a faith ministry, meaning we do NOT have a salary or regular source of income. MFN demands full time attention and we survive off of the donations of those willing to support this ministry. On the rare occasions I tried to work outside the ministry for some kind of a paycheck, the Lord quickly brings me back to His plan for full time faith ministry.

Through the tough times, we have learned to be patient and trust. Along the way the Lord has also taught us to voice our needs in various ways. And even though I have never grown comfortable with fundraising, we manage to get by with minimal fundraising and maximum effort directed at the important battlefronts. We’re committed to low-key fundraising efforts with very few letters or “the sky is falling” communications.

We are confident in the ministry calling of Missouri Family Network and the Lord has given us a special and personal peace about the financial strains we often face!

Likewise, the Lord has allowed me a special grace in dealing with lawmakers that is far from my personal tolerance or patience. And to assist in this particular grace is the fact that when we lost our first home to the strains of this ministry, God had a bigger and better plan that has proven to be one of the biggest blessings of our life. When we moved back to the family farm and into an old dilapidated, and abandoned farmhouse, we had no idea the depth of what the Lord was doing in our lives.

For the last 25 years we have had the privilege to live and raise children (now grandchildren) around the additional labors of caring for cattle and the many experiences of rural farm life. This is how I have maintained my sanity through the years! Yes this does in fact eat up what little time we have outside the ministry, but the physical labors and joys of farming are clearly my personal escape.

Why am I sending you an email about this subject?

Simply because this is one of those rare fundraising letters that I hate to send out, but must.

Here is our current situation:

2011 has been a VERY difficult year. Going into December we are at the lowest financial point we have ever faced in closing out our annual books. Donations have been within their relative parameters, but we have been hit with several unusual and unexpected expenses. We have been saddled with some significant ministry obligations that are handicapping us.

(Just to note; over the years several organizations have formally asked us to be their official representative (lobbyist) at the state capitol, to which we have agreed to some. In more recent years this has resulted in some confusion and we often hear folks express that they thought these relationships were based on employment, thus resulting in a drop in donations.)

For clarification allow me to list the eight “principles” I am registered with as
representing within the capitol as required by the Missouri Ethics Commission:

Missouri Family Network – (defending traditional families on all pro-family issues)
Americans United for Life – (the nation’s oldest pro-life legal strategy think-tank)
Alliance for Life, Missouri – (Missouri’s largest pro-life network of local PRCs)
Families for Home Education – (home school families & related education policy)
Missouri Baptist Convention – Christian Life Commission – (various Biblical concerns)
MO Assn. of Christian Child Care Agencies (religious liberties of residential ministries)
Samaritan Ministries International – (an international health care sharing ministry)
Missourians for Personal Safety – (Missouri’s Second Amendment organizations)

It is important to explain that I am NOT employed by any of these organizations beyond the donations to MFN which, in part, keeps the food on the table and the lights on, as well as the many ministry demands. All the other groups only provide their own donations to help MFN. There are no salaries, no insurance plans, no benefits, and no pensions.

As we are preparing for the 2012 legislative season we are drafting proposals and gearing up for the early January session of the Missouri General Assembly. But we have a large financial burden hanging over us and we need to raise an additional $21,000 by the end of the year! This is beyond anything we have faced at this late date on the calendar in the past.

WE NEED YOUR HELP!

To compound this situation is the fact that our primary farm truck kicked out its last mile this summer and we have been looking for a way to replace it before winter. Now that cold weather is settling in, the need for a heavy ¾ ton or 1 ton truck is getting serious.

If you have any idea or connection that could assist us with this particular need, we want to hear from you right away. The dead truck is a 1999 Chevy 2500 HD 4×4 and we are hanging onto it in case a replacement truck is compatible for parts. Thus our preference would be either a 2500 or 3500 Chevy (3/4 or 1 ton). A 4 wheel drive is a must, as is a full size bed. Optional details start with preferring a standard cab over an extended one, as close to a 1999 model would allow us to utilize many quality parts for the next few years to come, a steel flat bed (10-12 feet) or standard 8 foot flareside (no stepside or short bed), A/C is not important nor are other frills typical of any vehicle used for travel.

In other words the ‘perfect’ truck for us would be a low mileage 1999 Chevy 3500 HD 4×4, auto trans., with a 12 foot steel dump bed. However, we are in need of a strong work truck and don’t want to be picky beggars. Your prayers and assistance can help us find what the Lord has in store for our needs.

So here is what we would like to ask of you.

Please pray about a special gift of support for the ongoing work of Missouri Family Network – right away.

Then help us pray about finding a farm work truck needed on the home front. A 1999 model is nowhere near the expense of a more recent year. You may know someone who could donate, in part or in whole, to help us keep our sanity in the midst of a stressful political culture. If not, your prayers would still be helpful!”

Link

Assaulted mom needs help.

Will you help?

A Facebook friend posted a plea for financial aid and prayer help for a local mom with whom she goes to church and she has known for many years. Michelle and the children fled their home the evening of the assault and spent the next three weeks in a domestic violence shelter. During that time, an order for protection was filed against her husband. She is now back home with the children.

Of course, I began private messaging information that I thought might be useful and important during this time of financial and legal need for her friend.

Mid-week brought an opportunity for me to talk with and pray for this abused mom, Michelle. I’m overwhelmed for her! Michelle has multiple sclerosis so she obviously battles health issues. Michelle has nine children and is in a high risk pregnancy with number ten on the way. Put that combination together and imagine how a woman who has been a stay-at-home mom the last nine years is going to find a job to support her family when she isn’t capable of working during this pregnancy; plus not many employers will be thrilled to find out a new employee will need time off for MS health issues, and/or time off for taking care of sick kids when they come home from school with the latest virus.

There is a common thread woven through Michelle’s abuse that I often refer to on my blog under Toxic Tuesday posts. It’s a common factor (term/diagnosis) I hear of over and over by abused women.

I’m not able to go into details about the attack against Michelle for legal reasons, or about what is taking place in the courts. I can tell you that she is optimistic, hopeful, joyful, and is living day by day trusting in God…and praying…and keeping scriptures printed out and in front of her to help through difficult daily moments.

I’m asking my readers to go to the below  YOUCARING link and make a contribution to help Michelle purchase groceries and take care of immediate financial needs for her family.

Please pray for Michelle, and for her kids. Obviously, when abuse happens with children in the home the children are also traumatized.

Thank you in advance for your compassion.

Hebrews 13:16 “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”

Michelle Teeter

Status

Who retains Kerry Messer? Here’s the list

Blind to sinBetween July 2016 and present day I have posted approximately forty articles about the disappearance and discovery of Lynn Messer. I have interviewed Lynn’s son Abram Messer multiple times and have been given permission to post personal letters written by her son Aarron Messer. I have spoken with some of Lynn’s extended family members, friends whom she attended church with, and in whom she confided personal details about her life. All their stories have common threads; showing a tapestry of Lynn’s history that doesn’t resemble anything Kerry Messer writes on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.
See/click these links/paragraphs for Kerry Messer’s own words:
“For the first time in 39 years I kissed someone other than my wife, Lynn. If you want to call that an affair, then you call it that term. But this is not an affair,” Messer said in an interview. “This is a very cautious relationship that’s in a holding pattern while we wait to find out about Lynn. I’m a married man.” 
In an interview last week, Kerry Messer said his relationship with Thomas began around Christmas 2014 — about five months after his wife disappeared.

But Schott, of the Sheriff’s Department, said detectives had confirmed a relationship between Kerry Messer and Thomas months earlier — about eight weeks after Lynn Messer disappeared.

Messer said in an interview that he disclosed the relationship to police voluntarily and upon advice from pastors.

However, police say Messer first told them about Thomas only after authorities already had learned of the relationship from her, while visiting her farm. Hours later, police say, Messer called them to disclose the relationship.

Schott said Thomas was seen by police among search parties organized soon after Lynn’s disappearance. Police said she has refused further questioning.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I never received a reply from Families for Home Education after my second inquiry regarding them continuing to retain Kerry Messer as their state lobbyist. Likewise, other people I know who wrote them letters and emails didn’t receive any type of courtesy reply.

I learned during this process that the executive directors for the FHE board are Al and Sheryl Schmidt and that Sheryl is the one who has significant input as to if FHE continues, or doesn’t continue, to retain Kerry Messer.  I placed a phone call and  Mrs. Schmidt (Sheryl) answered the phone. I explained who I was and that I was calling to find out if FHE had decided if they were going to continue retaining Kerry Messer, call a meeting to discuss it, or end their relationship with him. Sheryl put me on hold, picked back up after a lengthy wait and said, “Carolyn,” and then had her husband take over without telling me. I figured I was being put on hold for that purpose and possibly for the conversation to be recorded. I was fine with that but it made me wonder why they have, according to Al, registered Sheryl as a state lobbyist for FHE if she wasn’t comfortable taking a call from me and answering questions. I explained myself again and informed Al I was calling to verify that FHE still retains Kerry as their lobbyist, as is on record with the state capitol. Mr. Schmidt retorted that FHE is not going to base their decisions on opinions being played out on internet, TV and in the newspapers. They have instead chosen to weigh the character of a man they have known for 25 years and who has done an outstanding job representing and protecting homeschoolers and family values. He insisted my sources are not telling me the truth and repeatedly advised me, “We are all sinners, Carolyn and we need to forgive. We must remember balance and forgiveness.” 

I was told by Mr. Schmidt the sheriff does not support what I’m saying about Kerry having a relationship with another woman.  I’m grateful Mr. Schmidt was honest about FHE’s opinions.

The following is what I attempted to tell him, but I was interrupted with several, “We are all sinners. We need to forgive, Carolyn” comments. I reminded him that when unconfessed sin is involved it is our duty to hold our brother accountable. And although I wasn’t saying Kerry had committed a crime, if it turns out a crime was committed, then we need to allow the law, a tool God gave us for the protection of the innocent and for justice, to do its job. He insisted we need to forgive. I tried to remind him forgiveness has its place, but it’s separate from consequences, accountability, and justice. I don’t recall if I was able to finish the entire sentence.

I hope this makes it all the easier for FHE members to withhold paying next year’s membership dues. In my opinion, it’s time to find a new group to lead the state of Missouri in protecting homeschool freedoms and safe guarding our reputation.  I sent FHE direct quotes from Kerry that were published in the newspaper regarding the other woman, published by his sons about what Kerry told investigators about his sexual needs, and newpaper publications about Kerry kissing the other woman who was not his wife; an ongoing relationship of 2+ years. Al Schmidt said they have known Kerry for over 25 years and they must balance what they personally know about this man against unproven allegations.

Direct quotes printed in the newspaper and stated by law enforcement are not allegations. Direct quotes from Kerry Messer’s own mouth are not allegations.

How do Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt think Aarron and Abram Messer feel? They’ve known their dad longer and it’s been an impossible road with unbelievable findings for them to wrap their hearts and minds around!

Here is Al and Sheryl Schmidt’s FHE phone number. I encourage FHE members to call and tell FHE they will no longer support their efforts for the homeschooling community by no longer financially supporting their organization.  (417) 859-79028 or (877) 696-6343 ext. 62. I used the 417 number.

“Institutional betrayal has increasingly become the focus of awareness among survivors of many different forms of trauma. The common theme is the profound breach of trust that occurs when those in positions of authority, by their acts of omission and commission, effectively take the side of the perpetrators in their midst. In these instances, the more the integrity of the institution is compromised, the more it appears that officials will seek to cover up the problem in order to protect the institution’s reputation rather than aiding the victims of abuse.”

Trauma and Recovery, by Judith Herman

 

A deceased homeschool mom named Lynn Messer deserves our fight for her justice. Her adult, homeschooled sons are victims living through an unimaginable nightmare; waiting to find our how their mom died and if their dad is going to be arrested for involvement.

For the record, I cogitated on Mr. Schmidt’s accusation that my sources were wrong and that the sheriff doesn’t support what I’m saying about Kerry. I did after all reference direct quotes and links from the St. Louis Post Dispatch and Major Jason Schott. I included these quotes in previous letters to homeschool groups and families, and to FHE leadership.

I spoke with Major Jason Schott of the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Department yesterday,  April 5, 2017, and he confirmed the accuracy of the quotes that were published in the newspaper. He repeated the information they have gleaned from the investigation. Investigators confirmed in early November 2014 during their questioning of Spring Thomas that her relationship with Kerry Messer had moved beyond friendship. Spring stated that the relationship began 8 weeks after Lynn disappeared. Although Kerry told a reporter that he disclosed the relationship voluntarily to the authorities he did so after investigators talked to Spring Thomas about the more than friendship, relationship. Kerry called the sheriff hours later to disclose the relationship.

Major Schott confirmed that the St. Louis Post Dispatch article, Missing woman case tears apart Jefferson City lobbying team, which I referenced for several quotes, was true and accurate.

From what I can gather Al Schmidt possibly spoke falsely to me, or did Kerry Messer lie to FHE about true information in news articles and the Investigation Discover Channel show: Disappeared, and Mr. Schmidt was repeating what he had been told?  I highly encourage FHE leadership to call Major Jason Schott to confirm this for yourself; (573) 883-5820.

I have deep concerns about Kerry Messer’s possible involvement in his wife’s disappearance and I believe he needs to be removed from his position as state lobbyist for various organizations if for no other reason than his involvement with Spring Thomas, not his wife, since shortly after Lynn’s disappearance. I understand there has not been an arrest, and I know he is presumed innocent. That doesn’t mean, we as Christians can’t hold him accountable for going against scripture; as testified to by Kerry’s own comments regarding his participation in an extra marital relationship for over two years. 

This disqualifies Kerry Messer from serving the Christian community in a leadership capacity. Attempting to merge Kerry’s stories on his Find Lynn Messer Facbeook page with his media quotes about is girlfriend paints a picture of a duplicitous personality who does not serve my interest in family values or homeschooling issues.

I am asking my readers to call the leaders of Families for Home Education and inform them that since they refuse to do anything about Kerry lobbying for our group that you will no longer consider paying dues to their organization; during the interim we will count on HSLDA to care for our needs and notify us of issues for which we need to contact state reps. Kerry Messer no longer represents our values and he cannot speak for or protect our interests and concerns. At worst he not been cleared of the investigation surrounding his wife’s death and at the least, he was having an affair with a woman not his wife for over two years.  St. Louis Post Dispatch: Missing woman case tears apart Jefferson City lobbying team.

We renounce Kerry’s leadership in any aspect of representation for the great state of Missouri, and we now renounce FHE’s leadership for their lack of biblical accountability dealing with Kerry’s inconsistencies and extra marital relationship.

I am asking my readers to also call Alliance for Life, Americans United for Life, Missouri Association of Christian Child Care Agencies, Inc., Missourians for Personal Safety, and Samaritan Ministries International. The goal is Kerry Messer being removed from his position of state lobbyist for these various organizations. All phone numbers are listed below.

FHE Leadership Board: Look at the map to see in which region you live. 

Region 1: Erin and Charyti Jackson (660) 582-5903                    FHE Region map 2 updated 5-5-16

Region 2: Vacant—leave a voicemail: (877) 696-6343

Region 3: Bill and Cyretta Holbrook (877) 696-6343 ext. 3

Mark & Tacey Brewster (816) 524-1887

Region 4: Dan and Mavis Dey (573) 239-3785

Region 5: Vacant—call: (877) 696-6343

Region 6W: Vacant—call Al and Sheryl Schmidt (417) 859-7908; 1-877-696-6343 ext. 62

Region 6E: Al and Sheryl Schmidt (417) 859-7908; 1-877-696-6343 ext. 62

Region 7: Vacant—call Al and Sheryl Schmidt (417) 859-7908; 1-877-696-6343 ext. 62

 

Below is the current list of Kerry’s lobby principals obtainable from the state capitol. If you have ties to any group you may contact them and voice your concerns, withdraw your membership, or not pay your next membership dues until the problem is resolved.

The Missouri Southern Baptist Convention no longer retains Kerry.  I called them to verify that Kerry is no longer a lobbyist for them. I spoke with Don Hinkle.  He was soft-spoken and wanted to make sure I understood that the only reason Kerry is no longer the lobbyist is because his contract expired and wasn’t renewed due to budget cuts…although Kerry isn’t being paid to lobby for the Southern Baptist Convention, Kerry will always advocate for family values at the state capital. I was hoping for at least, “We have concerns due to the investigation and chose not to renew…or something of the sort. I have been told my Lynn’s family members that they have heard three different explanations. If you want to inquire as to how many other staff lost their jobs due to budget cuts you may call MBC Executive Director, Dr. Yeats (573) 636-0400.
ALLIANCE FOR LIFE Still has Kerry listed as a lobbyist but mainly works with Sam Lee.
P.O. BOX 241
LEE’S SUMMIT MO 64063
417-598-1040
AMERICANS UNITED FOR LIFE—Dropped my call
310 S. PEORIA ST., S-500
CHICAGO IL 60670
312-492-7234
FAMILIES FOR HOME EDUCATION—Contacts listed above

MACCCA – MISSOURI ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN CHILD CARE AGENCIES, INC.—As of last contact Kerry still works for them. They knew his wife was missing but didn’t know her remains had been found.
24302 MAHIN ROAD
LAMONTE MO 65337
660-347-5982
MISSOURIANS FOR PERSONAL SAFETY (gun safety)—I spoke with Kevin Jamison. Yes, Kerry represents them. They have been pleased with how Kerry has been very honest, upfront and forthright with updates on everything. Kerry informed them knew when Lynn went missing, Kerry told them about his relationship with the another woman, told them when Lynn’s remains were found, and informed them when he, Kerry, secured Lynn’s dental records for the authorities; and just in time because they were about to be destroyed. Mr. Jamison said everybody but Kerry (referring to his collegues, knew Kerry’s wife was dead and wouldn’t be returning). 
2614 NE 56TH TER.
GLADSTONE MO 64119-2311
816-455-2669
SAMARITAN MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL—Samaritan Ministries members are a group of believers that have come together in Biblical community to help bear one another’s medical burdens without the use of health insurance.I explained that I was calling to verify information on record with the Missouri State Capital which lists Kerry Messer as Samaritan’s state lobbyist. He fiddled with his computer, put me on hold, dropped my call, and didn’t return my call. 
P.O. BOX 389
WASHINGTON IL 61571
309-382-3600
MISSOURI BAPTIST CONVENTION, CHRISTIAN LIFE COMMISSION (recently deleted Kerry’s name from their paperwork)
400 EAST HIGH STREET
JEFFERSON CITY MO 65101
(573) 635-7931

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

 

 

 

 

Video

Personality Disorders in Prominent Positions

Toxic46

Do you suspect someone you work with, or know, has a personality disorder? Has the leadership of your company, organization, or church been attempting to remove, dismiss, or terminate the person or their position?

Today I want to show you, with video, what someone with Narcissistic personality disorder Abuse supportersmay look like. While watching this short video, replace the character of Facebook co-founder, Mark Zuckerberg, with a dynamic speaker who has a witty sense of humor and is a leader in the Christian community. Keep in mind that narcissistic personalities can still appear different; some are charismatic—some boring, humorous vs.serious, highly intelligent vs. below average intelligence, well spoken vs. inarticulate, life of the party vs. quiet. Regardless of their differences they have many characteristics in common.

Consider a person who intertwines scripture as a means for emotional control and twists verses to support their dominance over co-workers. A specialist who tries to tell others who they are with no regard to reality.

A person who uses their title or place of leadership as a cover for control, dominance, or even abuse is not only not a leader in the way the Bible sets forth but is instead a moral and spiritual failure. Let me make this clear: When it comes to leadership, domination is never a teaching of the Bible. But servant leadership is.

 

 Now add in a spiritual leader who is hired for being a biblically accurate communicator. Only to later find the person is aggressive and manipulative in the process of gaining control over an organization, church, corporation, committee, or an individual. When confronted about their behavior they insist that their underlying brilliance be seen, acknowledged and praised; not criticized. They are correct; explaining away and justifying their motive, words, or actions.
If you attempt to speak truth into this person’s life; you will not be given opportunity to complete your thoughts and you will not be understood.

When truth is revealed against the backdrop of their deception, sin, or crime they play the “I am special” card and, “This isn’t the way it appears” line. In classic narcissistic fashion they hold up a mirror and reflect the accusation being made against them back at the plaintiff. You will NEVER win an argument with a narcissist or point out their error since they are perfect and do no wrong. Remember the rules and laws do not apply to them: For more on this topic see previous Toxic Tuesday posts about Narcissism.

“Jesus…is the Lion of Judah (Rev. 5:5) and the Lamb of God (Rev. 5:6) – He was lionhearted and lamb like, strong and meek, tough and tender, aggressive and responsive, bold and brokenhearted. He sets the pattern for manhood.” -John Piper

Narcissists like to explain why your accomplishments are of little importance and possibly not true accomplishments. They do not know how to encourage others and be genuinely happy for other’s successes. The only time you are praise worthy is when they can use your achievement to make themselves look better to someone else; or make it seem like your triumph was due to their input in your life.

You will not gain a narcissist’s understanding. You will be ignored, dismissed, and belittled Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard smallwhile the narcissist manipulates behind the scenes with no remorse or twinge of conscience toward the path of destruction they leave behind.

Narcissists are entitled to treat people however they feel with no regard to the other person’s feeling, needs, or input. They make executive decisions for everyone involved without allowing feedback, questions, or creative involvement. They are a god unto themselves and they like to surround themselves with people who believe everything they say without asking questions.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Narcissists have no boundaries with other people’s feelings, ideas, and needs. When dealing with this personality there are phrases that you need to memorize and keep in your mental pocket.

  1. That’s not what I was thinking; or had in mind.

  2. That’s your opinion.

  3. My decision is final.

  4. I’m not discussing this.

You need to know what you are going to say before confronting someone like this and stick with your script. Most importantly you don’t want to show any emotion. Positive or negative emotion only feeds the narcissist; known as narcissistic supply. You must starve them of the reaction they desire.

It doesn’t matter if you see this type of person committing a crime, yelling at someone, or telling a lie; they will deny it. Worse yet, because they are grand actors and liars it is easy to believe their cover story. I’ve been through this time and time again and I believed the actor/liar on every occasion…they were that good…until I understood I was dealing with a personality disorder. Before that I truly believed they were misunderstood, set-up, manipulated, not at fault, lied about, and…that I was the problem.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

To be clinically diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder a person must exhibit five of nine criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who meets all nine of the criteria. Once upon a time I lived with such a person. Now imagine the narcissism is the easiest part of the toxic relationship because underneath this surface lurks a tormented dark soul disguised as light.

One does not have to imagine long on this concept of darkness disguised as light since Satan has masqueraded in a cloak of light through the centuries.

Satan is not creative; just a good copycat who counterfeits everything he sees the Heavenly Father do. Satan produces many fake replicas; evil beautifully gift-wrapped with a forged logo or brand name.  As with counterfeit consumer products, Satan’s imitations are of a lower quality, sometimes not working at all, and often have toxic elements; producing toxic people—resulting in a lesser quality of life for God’s beloved children. Satan’s bogus plans, interjected into the lives of humans, have resulted in physical and spiritual deaths. Fatal poison has been packaged as the healing balm of Christ.

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1
Scripture cannot necessarily help you discern a narcissist, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, because they are some of the best actors you will ever see. Dealing with this personality disorder is outside the box for Christians and even for many psychologists. It takes a long-term relationship to identify if a person suffers from narcissistic personality disorder; meeting the criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The complexity of a narcissist makes them interesting to study, infuriating to live with, frustrating to work with, and the subject of psychological and spiritual scrutiny.

People can suffer from more than one personality disorder, or have what is called mixed personality disorder where the person meets criteria from several disorders, but not enough in any one of them to make a formal and supportable diagnosis in that area, the appropriate diagnosis is Personality Disorder NOS (not otherwise specified) with X, Y, and Z (or whatever) traits).

One of several overlapping disorders that can co-exist with narcissistic tendencies is obsessive compulsive personality disorder (completely different from obsessive compulsive disorder); characterized by a preoccupation of concern with excessive attention to details, mental and interpersonal control, and a need for control over one’s environment, at the expense of flexibility (everything is black and white to them). Money is viewed as something to be hoarded. Read about the entire criteria of this disorder at PhychCentral. If you question if someone you know has a personality disorder you should research disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders – DSM-IV.

Allow me to introduce you to Mr. Fatal Self-Love:

Remove Kerry Messer’s Incentive to Lobby

MO house of rep

I am forging on to round three in my attempt to protect our families from state lobbyist Kerry Messer who is not living by the family values and Biblical principles that you, GiveMe Chocolate readers, and I both espouse. My goal is to keep Christians and the state of Missouri’s homeschooling name and reputation clear of the investigation surrounding Lynn Messer’s death and the innocence or guilt of her husband Kerry Messer.

Kerry Messer has by his own testimony been in an extramarital relationship with a woman since shortly after his wife Lynn disappeared. In scripture Jesus set the precedence that sin is to be dealt with specifically. Confronting sin is not the same as judging; making your own opinion about someone.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

See/click these links/paragraphs for Kerry Messer’s own words:
“For the first time in 39 years I kissed someone other than my wife, Lynn. If you want to call that an affair, then you call it that term. But this is not an affair,” Messer said in an interview. “This is a very cautious relationship that’s in a holding pattern while we wait to find out about Lynn. I’m a married man.” 
In an interview last week, Kerry Messer said his relationship with Thomas began around Christmas 2014 — about five months after his wife disappeared.
But Schott, of the Sheriff’s Department, said detectives had confirmed a relationship between Kerry Messer and Thomas months earlier — about eight weeks after Lynn Messer disappeared.
Messer said in an interview that he disclosed the relationship to police voluntarily and upon advice from pastors.
However, police say Messer first told them about Thomas only after authorities already had learned of the relationship from her, while visiting her farm. Hours later, police say, Messer called them to disclose the relationship.
Schott said Thomas was seen by police among search parties organized soon after Lynn’s disappearance. Police said she has refused further questioning.
“There has been a suggestion that my dad has had affairs in Jefferson City, and my father has issued a challenge asking that anyone who knows of any affair come forward to the media. I would caution anyone who feels that this establishes some kind of alibi to know that it is not fair to do so. Detectives have assured me personally that multiple sources from Jefferson City have already stepped forward with allegations in private. Making his public challenge does not clear your name; it might sound good in a news story but… But the work of Missouri Family Network is renowned in conservative republican circles and anyone who would speak negatively of Kerry or make such an accusation publicly may soon find themselves unemployable. His challenges are not a defense but are intimidating for a victim and in a sense one day could be considered a criminal offence like witness intimidation.”
“Detectives explained how my dad had asked them permission to satisfy his urges for female companionship. That he had complained that he was accustomed to an active sex life and that the absence of Lynn was not simply emotionally draining but physically unbearable. They told him that they didn’t care what he did but they felt that was a conversation that he should be having with a pastor.” 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

For more on the investigation watch Disappeared: American Gothic—The Lynn Messer Case from Investigation Discovery Channel. It aired last night, March 26, 2017, 9:00 p.m. The show is FREE on Investigation Discovery Channel’s website.
I wrote Families for Home Education (FHE) seven months ago respectfully asking them to remove Kerry Messer as the lobbyist on behalf of homeschool families at the state capital. I did not receive an acknowledgment or reply, nor did I receive an acknowledgment or reply my letter two weeks ago. I consider this unacceptable business and ministry practice. I understand it may take days or weeks to call a formal meeting, but they could at the very least have given an acknowledgement that they received the letter and will be praying about it, meeting about it, or completely reject it.
The next step for homeschoolers is to bypass FHE and go directly to the people Kerry Messer works with at the state capital. Below you will find a sample letter you may copy and paste to use for your own purposes. Thank you to Lisa Payne-Naeger at Culture Vigilante for drafting this letter for us. I’ve been told this avenue is only effective if you personally know your rep or senator. So, if you know your rep or senator, please send this letter or call them on the phone.

Dear (Senator/Representative)

Elected representatives do so much more than pass legislation. They shape our culture, and they do it by acting on the kinds of issues that embody the values of the electorate. They often do so by listening to the advice and information of influencers who whisper in their ears, lobbying for or against legislation that regulates our laws, which in turn shapes our culture.

As a Christian and a home educator, I work very hard to not only provide the best educational experiences for my children, but to also instill strong family connections and values that embody respect and compassion for the family foundation.

For many years Christians and homeschooling families have relied on Kerry Messer to represent those values. Unfortunately Mr. Messer’s behavior has been an affront to everything Christians and homeschooling families believe, and it has become painfully apparent that he does not represent my values, viewpoints, or interests.

When Kerry Messer appeared at the FHE Homeschooling Rally more than two weeks ago, it became clear that it was time for Christians and homeschoolers to speak up about whom they choose to represent their voice. Because he has reportedly exhibited abusive behavior towards family members, engaged in adultery, and has not been ruled out in the investigation for the death of his wife, Kerry Messer does not embody our vision for Christian family values and educational freedom.

I feel he has no place at the capitol, and in the future it is my preference for you as my (senator/representative) to seek counsel from your constituents in all matters concerning family and education.

It is incumbent upon all of us to make sure you as my representative are hearing our voices above those from lobbyists who do not represent our values.

Sincerely,

Here are the links you may use to easily find contact info for your rep and senator.
LIST OF MISSOURI STATE SENATORS
LIST OF MISSOURI STATE REPRESENTATIVES

Thanks again for speaking out and taking a stand against not only this travesty, but helping to shape the wider culture by not blindly accepting this kind of behavior in our society.

Side Note: State reps can’t remove Kerry Messer and they do not have the authority to tell various groups who they can and cannot hire as a lobbyist; they do however, have the authority to not allow Mr. Messer in their offices.

My representative confirmed that Mr. Messer has lost his effectiveness at the state capital with the reps. Ask your rep. if they too can verify this. Because of this, my understanding is that Mr. Messer is now spending his time with the senators.

You may also call U.S. Senator Roy Blunt of Missouri:  202-224-5721 https://www.blunt.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/contact-roy (I been informed that Kerry Messer has had the favor, ear and help of Senator Blunt for the last 2 ½ + years.) Let’s inform Senator Blunt, in Washington DC,  of our stance on Kerry Messer representing us on Capitol Hill in Jefferson City.

 

Click link ‘LYNN MESSER’ in margin for more articles.

Link

4th Short Clip: Disappeared Lynn Messer

Disappeared Lynn Messer

 

Disappeared: American Gothic will air tomorrow, March 26, 2017 on  Investigation Discovery Channel at 9:00 p.m. central time.

In this clip Lynn’s son Abram brings up a perceptive and logical talking point about suicide victims. I agree with Abram. I’ve never heard of a person committing suicide and doing this either. I looked under dozens of Google search terms and came up with zero such instances.

Watch what Abram has to say here: I was not able to embed the video to my blog so you will have to click on the link. Disappeared Investigation Discovery Channel

Also, friends of Lynn’s have set up a new Facebook page; Find Lynn Messer II where Lynn’s life may be remembered and  honored in a loving, caring and loyal setting.

https://mobile.twitter.com/DiscoveryID/status/845668372884926464/video/1

 

Aside

Lynn Messer: 1st Forensics Results

Lynn

The pathology and forensic test results are beginning to be released by investigators.

Here is what the family has been told so far:

Lynn has really been gone the entire time and her body has been exposed to the elements the entire time. Police said it just confirmed what they already knew. There were no other specifics, which leaves many questions.

This laid to rest questions and thoughts that have occupied Lynn’s loved one’s minds. Such as, if Lynn had left of her own will, wandered off, and came back after organized searches.This disproved that idea.

A reminder to my readers: The soil samples are what we have been praying about…See: Lynn Messer: Reversal of Destiny

 

KFVS 12 just updated this: According to Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff Gary Stolzer, a medical examiner in St. Louis said that she does not believe Lynn’s bones moved since she disappeared. Stolzer said that would indicate that her body remained in the same spot since she disappeared in July 2014.

March 24, 2017, 5:00 p.m. update:

I’m learning that there may be some conflicting headlines regarding today’s report. Not all forensics and pathology reports are in right now and it may require putting multiple reports together to reach conclusions. So my understanding is…today’s report from The St. Louis County Medical Examiner’s Office states it appears Messer’s body was out there for the two year time period.

Someone may have jumped the gun on this statement being the same as… the body was located at that same spot the full two years. The soil samples are not in yet.

I’m sticking to my original statement, Lynn has really been gone the entire time and her body has been exposed to the elements the entire time.

Video

DailyJournal Online: Lynn Messer

 

Here is the DailyJournal Online’s article which was published this morning. It’s a long article so click on the link at the end of this post and scroll through all the ads and sign-up boxes to continue reading the entire article.

The article is written by Renee Bronaugh who has been covering Lynn’s case from the time of Lynn’s disappearance. 

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Here are a few excerpts from the article; along with, a few comments from me.

Abram: “They spent just as much time down at the sheriff’s department,” he said. “They have been very thorough and nothing we did with them was forced. Everything was within the context of, ‘if you are comfortable sharing this with us and will allow us to tell this story, then we would like to be able to tell this story with you.’”

Now, Abram said, nearly five months after discovery of his mother’s remains, the family is still waiting on results of the forensic work. He said that law enforcement told him the case is like putting together a puzzle. They have all these pieces laid out on the table and they can begin to see which piece fits where.

“As they start putting parts of the story together and parts of the evidence together, they can begin to see a much clearer picture of what all has transpired,” Abram said. “There are just one or two pieces of that puzzle still missing and forensics are going to answer those questions.”

Abram and his family are holding out hope there will be people who watch the show — maybe someone from Jefferson City, somebody from his father’s church or somebody who he knows — and it will help them to recall conversations they have had with his father.

“I hope they think about different things they know, because so many different people had come out to help us search,” he said. “The entire community has been involved and our hope now with the show, is those people watching, maybe there is somebody out there who has one piece of information who can put the whole puzzle together and bring closure to this entire investigation.”

“All of the producers we have been working with have all stayed in contact with us, looking for updates and waiting right along with us,” he said. “Their care and concern was more than just a professional courtesy. They were very genuine and very caring and truly interested. You could tell it wasn’t about ratings. Everybody we have worked with over the taping of the show has been really wonderful. They have opened their hearts to us and it has been a very unique experience.”

He said two reenactment clips he’d seen from the show were very powerful which leads him to believe the show’s crew paid close attention through the course of the interviews.

Kerry: “Kerry said he didn’t respond to any of the show’s attempts to contact him and has never spoken to them or responded to them by any other means.”

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In other words, it appears everything Kerry says throughout the article, and on the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page, about the show and its crew is strictly his opinion and not based on facts.

According to Abram’s testimony the crew had a genuine interest in telling the whole story. The show’s goal is to help find the missing person. Therefore they are rewarded with terrific ratings through telling the truth of the story from different viewpoints of witnesses, friends, and family members. Recovering someone who has disappeared is the ultimate goal and reward for ‘Disappeared‘ producers and crew doing the taping for Investigation Discovery Channel. Yes, your read that correctly. This isn’t an entertainment tabloid show…it’s Investigation Discovery Channel.

One of my readers commented on a recent post about Lynn, “It is very telling that Kerry is getting so nervous about this show. He has broken with his protocol and has discussed the investigation on his Facebook page. He actually referred to his affair and contradicted what he had previously publicly said about the romantic, physical relationship with Spring Thomas before he knew that his wife was dead. He is getting out ahead of this in attempting to discredit it and guilt people into not watching it. I am confident that this will continue to open the eyes of those who have been blinded and I hope that investigators re-double their efforts to evaluate where the evidence leads.”

In my opinion, I agree with this reader.

It appears Kerry Messer has very few followers and friends left on his Find Lynn Messer page. What better way to keep those few from thinking through the evidence and testimony than shaming them for considering watching the show and convincing them it’s all fabricated; spun and twisted for entertainment value?

Friends, co-workers, church members, and family members must put loyalties aside and report any little detail or conversation they recall. Who knows? They may be holding a piece, or the last piece, to the investigative puzzle. 

Read the entire article here…

Lynn Messer case to be featured on TV series Sunday

 

 

Video

Disappeared Short Clips: Lynn Messer

Below is a portion of Kerry Messer’s latest entry on the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.

Kerry makes his case for why he isn’t happy about the airing of Disappeared. I’m adding a bit of my perspective to his story; rebuttals to some of his statements.

Disappeared was filmed before Lynn’s body was discovered and the purpose for allowing this program to share Lynn’s story was to hopefully help find her and to bring closure to the case.

Kerry Messer’s writing is in blue. My response is in red.

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Hurting hearts have left a significantly large number of people vulnerable to wild imaginations. These have been fed by unbelievably hateful speculations and accusations founded in nothing more than a search for anything to believe in – something to cling to for an explanation.

Nope…fed by Spring Thomas, your girlfriend being identified as part of a search party on your property looking for your wife.

Fed by…Different, and reportedly untrue stories, you told investigators and your sons about the note that was at least in part, possibly in whole, written by Lynn.

Fed by your comments that Abram isn’t working through his grief in a healthy manner. You are the one who reportedly made inaccurate comments about the note to him, and forced their family out of their home? He has a right to defend himself and tell his side of the story.

Note: We are all sinners. We all deserve the worse, but we all desire grace. Through The Lord’s incredible love, He offers us the grace we need but don’t deserve. However, we are all still sinners by nature as well as by choice. And like it or not, a common default expression of our sin nature which every single one of us share is the propensity to remember the negative about other people more than the positive. We also fall prey to believing the worse about those we don’t know or care for. And we all tend to stand up for those we relate to while turning against those we do not relate to. And our personal worldviews are established more by our general biases and beliefs than facts or truths.

What? We remember the positive, but the negative is so overwhelming that it can’t be dismissed, overlooked, or forgotten. Our ‘biases and beliefs’ are based on biblical principles of the marriage covenant as set forth by God; not man’s own spin on what is or isn’t an affair.

Simply stated: We believe what we want to believe. We accept ideas as either absolute facts or as mere theories more often than not without ever examining actual evidences. If something fits our mental or emotional comfort level, we accept it. If it challenges our comfort level, we reject it. You can call it relativity, moral relativism, subjective reality, alternative reality, self-identity truth, modernism, post-modernism or whatever else the contemporary literature comes up with, but at its core it is nothing more than an expression of the sin nature we all possess.

Are you the one who believes in moral relativism? You are the one who had a girlfriend, at the least, within weeks of your wife disappearing. You are the one who admitted to kissing this woman but wouldn’t admit to an affair. Mr. Messer, sex is not the only aspect of an affair. By your own account you had a close friendship with this woman and were emotionally involved with her. Your sons have given testimony that the friendship predated Lynn’s disappearance and they even say it was an unhealthy attraction/friendship. I won’t argue when the relationship began and how involved it was; by Biblical standards you were having an affair while you said you still believed you were a married man. According to your testimony you were alone with her on multiple occasions, had a meaningful relationship and you kissed her on the lips.

So what in the world am I driving at?

The fact is, on the night of July 7th, 2014, I lost my Bride. Almost a year later, I lost my entire in-law family to scathing false rumors deliberately created to cause more pain and stress. Another year later and I lost the rest of my family to an avalanche of imaginative accusations. Sadly, much of the garbage seems to be very deliberately designed to drive wedges and divide already hurting hearts. All in the name of ‘helping’!?!?!

I find it odd how you plea that your family be more careful of their words and your feelings, while it appears from media reports and interviews of you that you don’t afford them the same courtesy. Furthermore; I haven’t heard wild accusations from them; just questions and accounts that are confirmed by multiple witnesses.

How in the world do people think they can help by spreading lies is beyond me. I have never known of anyone being benefited by folks bearing false witness. When is the last time you have seen healing amidst hurting thanks to an onslaught of lies? Yet far too many folks think they can help by repeating accusations without ever talking to the one being accused.

I guess we need to know the specific lies to which you are referring?

In two years and well over eight months I have had a grand total of three (3) people bother to contact me directly to ask questions about the things they have heard which concerned them. A great number of friends have responded to me in the course of our normal conversations about the scope of the dozens of false accusations they hear regularly. These are faithful friends who do not spread the garbage. But others have fallen prey to the trash talk and some have joined the chorus of gossipers and rumor mongering.

In Your Daily Journal video interview you listed 4 news outlets. I’ll add the St. Louis Post Dispatch as a fifth. Readers may view the video at the following link: Timer at 22:12 into the video. http://dailyjournalonline.com/videos/full-interview-with-kerry-messer/youtube_e7b0a20d-252f-51f8-a539-bdc241c44838.html

You stated: “There’s 4 news agencies that I felt actually tried to help us in the beginning; not just write a story but actually showed real interest in trying to help us find Lynn; The Daily Journal out of Farmington, The Missouri Times out of Jefferson City, Channel 12 News – Cape Girardeau, and Channel 2 News in St. Louis.” You said they were” the four who had shown real interest in who we are” inferring there were possibly others but you didn’t like the line of questions or the direction the journalist would take with the article.

What has all of this got to do with the title for this post “Help vs. Entertainment”?

First of all, God’s timing can seem confusing, but it is always best. This week I was already struggling with the key themes of Psalms 108 and 109, and that short line which has dogged me and aided me at the same time for over two and a half years, “…vain is the help of man”.

Secondly, man’s help has been of great value throughout this entire ordeal on countless fronts! But no man’s help has had an ounce of healing influence on my shredded heart. No man’s help has offered any significant solace to the stresses that have been eating me alive. No man’s help has given any light to this path down here in this dark valley of shadows. Yet I owe a great measure of “thanks” to literally hundreds of people who have helped in the ways they could, and can, and continue to do!

And thirdly: While entertainment has varying degrees of value under certain circumstances…

My Bride’s disappearance is not supposed to be a source for entertainment!!!

No, not entertainment; this confirms that your sons and their families were desperate to find their mom. They wanted resolution and if a national show could give a glimmer of hope to finding answers it was worth it.

It is not helpful to use Ma’s death, nor any false rumors, imaginative speculations, or accusations, as a source of entertainment!!!

The gut wrenching discovery of Lynn’s remains is not an acceptable source of entertainment!!!

Again, this show was planned in advance of the discovery of Lynn’s remains and Lynn’s remains were not found until after the show had concluded its filming.

They know their storyline is not true!!! And they do NOT care!!!

This is NOT news! This is entertainment at the expense of a distraught family!!!

Our tragedy is NOT supposed to be sold to advertisers!!!

Our pain is NOT supposed to be used for entertainment!!!

You appear to be one of the only family members, if not the only, who takes issue with this television program.  

Are we motivated by past friendship, loyalty, sympathy and fear for the person offended or by the distress, pain and heartache of the children of the dead? Make certain your compassion is properly placed and driven by love of truth and justice.

The following links are clips from the televised program which uses actors to portray the Messer family. The first link in embedded; the second link you have to click to be taken to the video.

 

https://www.investigationdiscovery.com/tv-shows/disappeared/videos/the-moment-that-the-family-of-lynn-messer-discovered-she-had-vanished Disappeared

 

 

https://www.investigationdiscovery.com/tv-shows/disappeared/videos/the-moment-that-the-family-of-lynn-messer-discovered-she-had-vanished