Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard

Toxic Tuesday Headlines: My Bed, My Pew, My Life

Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard


“Allowing a volunteer with known past abuse allegations to continue serving is beyond stupid, it’s handing him the keys to the door of abuse.” ~G.R.A.C.E. Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment


Some churches are a toxic wasteland where child predators walk and work among the hallways, classrooms and bathrooms. Predators are bio hazardous waste that needs to be found, collected and kicked to the curb for segregated garbage collection and delivered to a secure sealed location.

Many of our churches are not ready to protect children from such evil.


They don’t understand how molesters and pedophilic offenders think or act and they don’t understand how children fall prey to abuse. This makes church leaders and workers unable to protect because they don’t recognize the signs of abuse or the extent of the abuse and often when abuse happens they don’t believe the victim. The part that frustrates and sickens me most is when church leadership is informed of abuse allegations but they don’t report it to the authorities or disclose it to the congregation.

“We must never place greater value on the words & promises of sex offenders than the bodies and souls of children.” ~G.R.A.C.E.


Here is one such example recently making headlines:

A divorced man was hired by a small congregation in a small town for the position of senior pastor. This man had no contact with his own biological child; in fact, his parental rights were removed. Add to this the fact that he was forced out of his last ministry, in a neighboring state, due to allegations of improper conduct with a child. (It was in fact a sexual crimes investigation by the local sheriff’s department for victimizing a six year old girl.)

The hiring church knew this background yet did not contact the ex-wife or the former church to hear their what, how, why, when or where perspective. They believed his spin on the situations and they loved his preaching. What more did they need to know?

Fast forward:

This church believed in their pastor so strongly that they allowed him to attend church camp during the summers, staying in the dorms/cabins with young boys and allowed him to travel with an international evangelistic team, to preach and work in orphanages in foreign countries. They also allowed him to stop teaching the adult class during Wednesday night services to teach the class for 2-5 year old children—alone. Yes, you read correctly. He taught this class solo, by himself, no helper, unaided—while the church leadership did not take into consideration his background of past allegations.

I’m angry! Shaking, crying, furious, appalled, sickened—my head hurts and I want someone to answer for this wrongdoing; this offence—this crime against children and in my book the church is a guilty partner in the crime.


Did anyone ever consider protecting the children?

In today’s society there needs to always be safety in numbers for the children’s protection. No one should ever be alone with children.


Again; fast forward:

In April 2012 this man was arrested on allegations of aggravated criminal sodomy of a child and aggravated indecent liberties with a child. He was held on a $500,000 bond, which no one provided bail for, so he remained incarcerated for over two years after waving his right to a speedy trial. He then waited while delaying his trial on more than one occasion.

His day in court was coming and there was no holding back the judgment of the Lord. (See previous post: Reversal of Destiny)

This man was told numerous times over the last thirty years to safeguard his ministry by not being alone with children.

Alone he was with a class of 2-5 year olds. [i]

I must stop and ask; what man wants to be alone with little children and have to take care of changing dirty diapers?

But that’s not all.

He was alone in a classroom which had no windows and he allegedly locked the door while the children were in the class.[ii]

He was alone doing unthinkable things while describing to the children what Jesus would do and say when he returned while acting out what would happen. He (Jesus), “Would touch people upon his return.”[iii]

The mother of one of the victims discovered an “awfully quiet” classroom one Wednesday night. “She went to the door of the classroom and it was locked.” “I knocked three times on the door. It took the defendant several minutes to come to the door and he would only open it enough that I could see him. He said the children were working on a craft and it was a surprise for the parents.” “I never saw any crafts that were being worked on,” she told the court.[iv]

Another mom told in detail what the defendant did to her son; it was more than showing or touching.

My emotions are raw so I will refrain from writing what I feel about him and where I hope he goes. This case has nearly sucked the life out of me on multiple occasions and he deserves whatever comes his way for his crimes against multiple young children.

Being present for the guilty verdict was emotionally overwhelming for me; yet necessary. (See previous post: Mene Mene Tekel Parsin) Those in the courtroom were told to keep all emotions and reactions to themselves for the sake of the jury who had worked tirelessly on the outcome of someone else’s future. We were instructed by the judge to leave the courtroom if we felt we could not abide by his rules. One sweet momma had to do just that. I chose to stay in the courtroom. I was about to listen to the pronouncement I had waited what seemed like a lifetime to hear.  I understood and respected the judge and his reasoning yet found it almost impossible to follow. Years of waiting for necessary evidence, necessary non-family witnesses while knowing this man was having full access to children, yet unable to do anything about it due to the constraints of a former family court judge, weighed on my heart and mind thousands of times over the years.

I felt like a water balloon filled to four times its capacity but not allowed to bust, spill, leak or burst. Blood pulsated through my veins like hot lava while burning hot tears streamed down my face from searing bloodshot eyes while I attempted not to shake or let slip any groans or sobs.

I can’t imagine how the other moms in the courtroom felt. I’m sure we each reacted in our own way just like we each utilized different coping mechanisms through our individual circumstances involving the same perpetrator.


In two weeks the defendant will be sentenced for his guilty verdict. It is likely the minimum time will be 25 years without the possibility of parole. The defendant can be sentenced under ‘Jessica’s Law’:  Among the key provisions of the law is classifying lewd or lascivious molestation on a person under the age of 12 as a life felony, and a mandatory minimum sentence of 25 years in prison and lifetime electronic monitoring of adults convicted of lewd or lascivious molestation against a victim less than 12 years old. The statute also requires that if an offender is sentenced to a term of years, he or she must be given lifetime probation following the imprisonment. Jessica’s Law is being applied to cases involving clergy, teachers and coaches; molesters and pedophilic offenders who seek employment in professions where they can target and prey upon child victims.


“Boundaries, limitations and refraining from complete trust are demonstrations of Christian love towards offenders who profess repentance.” ~G.R.A.C.E.


[i] Allen Smith, “Children testify about alleged abuse by former Independence pastor”, Independence Daily Reporter, June 3, 2014

[ii] Smith, “Children testify about alleged abuse by former Independence pastor”

[iii] Smith, “Children testify about alleged abuse by former Independence pastor”

[iv] Smith, “Children testify about alleged abuse by former Independence pastor”

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As we repent for our sins and the sins of our nation let us not forget: God does not use repentance as a form of punishment. Quite the contrary; it is our invitation to healing, power, wisdom, blessing and restoration. Repentance is a gift; it is our right! There is joy to be found in it.


Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, and that he may send the Messiah, who has been appointed for you—even Jesus. Acts 3:19-20 (NIV)


Click the below link to join Anne Graham Lotz for day 5 of An Urgent Call to Prayer.

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From Daniel 9

I prayed to the Lord my God and confessed:

“Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments,  we have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws. We have not listened to your servants the prophets, who spoke in your name to our kings, our princes and our ancestors, and to all the people of the land.

“Lord, you are righteous, but this day we are covered with shame, both near and far, in all the countries where you have scattered us because of our unfaithfulness to you.  We and our kings, our princes and our ancestors are covered with shame, Lord, because we have sinned against you.”

Join Anne Graham Lotz for day 4 of An Urgent Call to Prayer

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alarm clock

The law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith.”

Galatians 3:24, NKJV

“The Christian life is motivated, not by a list of do’s and don’ts, but by the gracious outpouring of God’s love and blessing. We want to live our lives to please God because before Jesus “the law was given through Moses” (John 1:17a, NIV). Think of the law as summed up in the Ten Commandments.

The law didn’t make us feel better. It made us feel worse.

The law didn’t help us to be good. It revealed how bad we were.

The law didn’t give us joy or peace. It made us feel guilty.

The law didn’t help us measure up. It showed us we fall short.

The apostle Paul said the law was like our schoolmaster, teaching us how much we need a Savior. But “grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (John 1:17b, NIV) because He perfectly fulfills the law. His life measures up to the standard established by the law, and when we receive Him by faith, His righteousness is credited to us. Therefore in Christ we too fulfill the law.” ~Anne Graham Lotz, AnGel Ministries

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

God’s laws apply to everyone, Christian and non-Christian, and there are consequences for those who violate God’s Law. The good news is that God has provided a way out when we make mistakes, experience failure or sin.

There is natural, physical, law that has been in place since day one of creation.

God gave law to Adam in the garden, Genesis 2: 17, that commanded obedience.

God instructed Moses to write down His Law in Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy.

Romans 1:20 (NIV)

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”

We are without excuse. We should feel convicted over what we see going on around us so let’s be about the business of repenting and seeking God’s forgiveness for the sins of our nation.

I’m stealing a quote my friend, Michelle, posted on FB today: “”Don’t ever hate conviction. Conviction is a real gift from God, because what flows over a soul that understands it is broken is almost always the grace, mercy, and the forgiveness of God, which increases our worship and empowers our obedience. So, don’t despise conviction. It’s a gift.” –Matt Chandler

Click the below link for day 3 of An Urgent Call to Prayer:

AN URGENT CALL TO PRAYER: DAY THREE • AnGeL Ministries • Anne Graham Lotz.


Help, I Can’t Find My Mom!


This is how my morning began—with Riley at my bedroom door, “Mom, I think we have a baby Wood Chuck in our garage. I saw something scurry across the garage floor and it screamed at me.”

Yes, Ground Hogs/Wood Chucks can scream. As we are learning, living on our wild property, most animals and birds scream; like the fox at 3:38 a.m. this morning which was yelling outside the chicken coop door. “I’m hungry! Let me in! I’m going to keep screaming ’til someone opens this door!”

Or the owlets in the middle of the night when their mommas are teaching them to hunt but they don’t want to fly with their momma. An owelet is very defiant when it sits and screams at its momma to come back for it.

Or the chickens when the raccoons have once again broken into the coop during the late night hours. Oh the sound of chickens alerting us while the coons scream at them to be still like a good little dinner.

Or the squirrels when a Great Horned Owl is attacking their nests in the middle of the night and eating the pesky little squirrels limb by limb. This is the worst scream of all!

Or the skunk when I take our dog out late at night in the dark and catch Mr. Skunk off guard. Loud scream but fortunately no spray. Very thankful!


Here is the Little Mister Riley found this morning.


What a cute tail!


Oh…cuteness overload. Just don’t bite us while we try to help you out of our garage.


It tried tunneling home—all the way up 10 feet of insulation in the garage. Now we know Ground Hogs can climb; in fact, it climbed on every shelf and surface in the garage and knocked over anything in its path.

We attempted to use a broom, a flag pole and loud noise to coax the little mister/critter out of the garage but he was sooo scared.

“I’m hiding and you can’t see me. That’s not my nose.”



“Those aren’t my whiskers.  You can’t see me.”


“Okay, you found me. I’ll go find my old hiding spot in the insulation.”



Three minutes later…

“You definitely cannot see me here. I shall stay here all day.”


“They found me again but I refuse to leave. Where is my mom? I want my mommy.”



“Hey, I forgot to thank you for all the ‘Johnny on the Spots’ you keep conveniently located in your garage. I made good use of them—all of them.”

“And these GIGANTIC Burr Oak Acrons—delicious! I didn’t have to go with out food all night. Thank you for thinking of me.”



Sniff, sniff. I might shed a tear over this discovery. These were the giant Burr Oak acorns I was going to use for decorating purposes. Little Mister had several meals by the looks of things.

Riley and I realized we were getting nowhere with the little mister who was too scared to leave the garage so we went inside and  left the garage door up for Little Mister to escape.

A few minutes later Little Mister was letting out screams of distress to his momma in hopes that she would come find him. Hopefully it worked since I haven’t heard a scream in over an hour.

Now I will go clean up all the ‘Johnny on the Spots’ Little Mister used. I was kind and didn’t take pictures of those but then I realized not everyone speaks sarcasm as fluently as me. So for those of you who didn’t understand…

‘Johnny on the Spot’Johnny on the Spot

Little Mister’s ‘Johnny on the Spot’IMG_0200Puddle on the left. Black dodo on the right. Garden tools on the floor which means Little Mister climbed the wall and knocked the gardening tools off their hooks.

Ugh! I really did not want to spend an hour of my day cleaning in the garage.



alarm clock


alarm clock

God has scripturally provided for our every need; including, how to repent and receive forgiveness.  Through scripture and our relationship with God we receive all the provisions we need in life through faith, because of the finished work or Christ on the cross. Our faith is not conditional on how much emotion we show or how beautifully we praise Him. No! Our faith, the knowledge that an alternative to this issue/conditions exists is based on the fact that God keeps His promises as we obey His natural law/meet His conditions. (More on types of law tomorrow.)

His laws/conditions are not burdensome. They are life giving; full of blessings, joy, peace, wisdom, strength, freedom, healing, forgiveness and deliverance.

Apply the finished work of Christ on the cross as you repent for our nation and seek forgiveness for her many sins.

Law/Condition: If…then…

2 Chronicles 7:14 

IF my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, THEN I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Click the below link to join Anne Graham Lotz for day two of seeking God’s forgiveness for our nation.

AN URGENT CALL TO PRAYER: DAY TWO • AnGeL Ministries • Anne Graham Lotz.

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alarm clock


Blow the trumpet…sound the alarm…for the day of the Lord is coming. It is close at hand– Rend your heart and not your garments.  Return to the Lord your God…    ~Joel 2:1, 13

 From 777: An Urgent Call to Prayer By Anne Graham Lotz
Join Anne Graham Lotz and thousands of other followers of Jesus Christ across our nation and around the world, as together we return to the Lord our God, rend our hearts, repent of our sin, and cry out to God for His mercy on behalf of our nation.  Before it’s too late.

Pray! in the 7th month, July

Pray! on each of the first 7 days of July (Since the first week of July has passed I encourage you to find a week to join the prayer and fasting.)

Pray! and fast on the 7th day for 7 hours (of your choosing)

The Purpose:
  • For God the Father to restrain, protect, and deliver His people from the evil that has come into our world.
  • For God the Son to be exalted, magnified, and glorified in His church, in our nation, and in our lives.
  • For God the Holy Spirit to fall on us in a fresh way, compelling the church to repent of sin and our nation to return to faith in the living God, resulting in a great national spiritual awakening.

The below link offers prayer helps for worshiping, repenting, surrendering, and petitioning the Lord.

AN URGENT CALL TO PRAYER: DAY ONE • AnGeL Ministries • Anne Graham Lotz.

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Sounding the Alarm – Anne Graham Lotz

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The following link is a super quick read, for an extremely heavy subject, 777: An Urgent Call to Prayer by Anne Graham Lotz. I will be referencing this call to prayer for the next several days.

Sounding the Alarm – Blog • AnGeL Ministries • Anne Graham Lotz.


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Church, body of Christ, we must repent!

“if my peoplewho are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” II Chronicles 7:14

Notice this scripture does not say, “My creation,” “All people,” or “Your nation.” It says, “My people, who are called by my name,” referring to the people who believe in and worship the ONE TRUE GOD.

For the next several days I will be referring to Anne Graham Lotz and her 777 campaign, An Urgent Call to Prayer. I’m sad to say I did not learn of this campaign or listen to Anne Graham Lotz speak at the National Day of Prayer until last Wednesday via  God has clearly placed a responsibility on her to sound the alarm to American Christians that judgment is coming.

I was so disappointed to realize I had missed the 7 days of prayer campaign but since God lives in eternity and not in time, and since God knows our hearts, I believe He will still accept our participation; even at a late date.

Are we going to listen to Anne Graham Lotz or are we going to treat her as the Israelites treated the Old Testament prophets.  The people did not want to hear from God through His prophets. The Israelites were enjoying life, becoming complacent and their complacency led to sin. The people did not want burdened with worship, acts of service, repentance, truth or tithes. They wanted to follow false leaders. They forgot the law of sowing and reaping.

As a mom raising children in this generation to understand the Lord’s love for them; to love the Lord, seek Him, and stay pure seems impossible yet my faith is in the Lord. You’ve heard the idiom, “Never place all your eggs in one basket.” Well, I am. I am resolved to make everything dependent on one person, God. I am placing all my resources, energy, talents, gifts, finances, children, my marriage, and my reputation at His feet; my only course of action. I don’t even consider it a risk. I am confident I will reap what I sow.

Surely God must be ready to end this corrupt world where people  who call themselves, “Christian,” devalue life, murder their children while in the womb, crave excessive materialism, live for participation in the next sexual sin , practice deceitfulness as a positive quality trait, and throw off all self-control calling good bad and bad good.

We, the church, are toxic and our toxicity spilled over on those around us. The world became corrupt because God’s people, the church, failed in her mission. We have failed to understand God’s love for us, God’s protection through His laws, and the blessings God wants to pour down on us.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This is an essential lesson. Please watch and listen.

Help for Living in a Toxic Relationship

Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard


A few days ago I blogged about the power of the cross for overcoming lies.

This week I return to the cross applying it to a hurt heart, soul, mind and strength.

Are you broken-hearted from living in a toxic relationship while believing no one can possibly fathom what goes on in your daily life; let alone, help you?

There is someone who knows the truth, who understands, who feels your broken heart, who want to help and best of all; this person can help. I know because He has helped me on multiple occasions.

“He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness;” Isaiah 53:3 (AMP) 

He has been in our shoes.

“Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:4-5

Jesus experienced all our sin, hurt, and heartache while upon the cross. He experienced the hurt and heartache that happened to us at the hands or words of another person sinning against us because Jesus died for their sin too. He bore their sin against you just as He bore our sin against Him and against others.

Jesus experienced the depth of rejection by the religious leaders and community, His brothers did not believe Him (John 7:5), several apostles and close friends were embarrassed or fearful and abandoned Him,  one of His closest companions betrayed him. Add to all this slander, lies and attempted crazy making (see previous post: from every direction. He was mocked, arrested, beaten, tortured and then He willingly laid down His life in the worst possible death; crucifixion on the cross. He suffered crucifixion death for every person who ever had lived, was living and would live; including the people who partook in His arrest, trail and death.

Because of the cross Jesus understands. Those who have accepted Jesus, by faith, as their Lord and Savior can receive healing, power, wisdom, and provisions for journey.

The best way I find these provisions is through a daily love relationship with Father God. I have a pattern of trying to make this relationship better by trying to love Him more; forgetting that although He wants me to love Him, it is based on His love for me. I tend to think the same way about the cross in my belief that Jesus died for me so I wouldn’t miss out on Father God in heaven because Jesus knows exactly what we are missing out on by not being in heaven. Although this is true, Jesus died for us because He loves us and knows how loved we are by our heavenly Father. I just cannot wrap my mind around how great His love, their love, for me is—how great their love for you is.

I cannot adequately explain this or explain God. There is always more to tell you.

All I know is it happens one day at a time. Day after day. Struggle after struggle. Victory after victory. At the beginning or the end of a day when it seems like there isn’t strength or sanity left in heart, soul, mind and strength to carry on; there is.

Here is a quote I have had printed, framed and sitting on my dresser for the last sixteen years:


For those of you in a toxic relationship; you may need to draw upon God’s boundless store of grace from hour to hour as you need it. There is always hope; no one can take that from you. And there is always God; no one can keep you from Him—except you.

If you have questions on how to begin a relationship with God look at the right margin of this blog and scroll down to Jesus: Connecting with God.

Cross Fit Overcoming Lies

Little Bit of Chocolate final


“For the story and message of the cross is sheer absurdity and folly to those who are perishing and on their way to perdition, but to us who are being saved it is the [manifestation of] the power of God.” I Corinthians 1:18 (AMP)

My quiet time today centered on the power of the cross for healing ungodly beliefs and lies which I have believed about God and about myself. You see, the finished work of Christ on the cross and my authority as a believer gives me power over these strongholds. I am grateful. But more than grateful; I continually bask in God’s love, radiance and wisdom to grow more like Jesus every day. I have an eternity to go.

Saved/redeemed people have a sincere desire and need for God’s truth. We want our minds to become more like the mind of Christ. We want our minds to be in-line with scripture so we have Godly beliefs.

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6 (NIV)

God does not simply want us to know about Him or to acknowledge He exists. No! He wants a daily personal relationship us. When we know Him personally; His character, His principles, His Son, His truth and His heart we will be able to recognize lies. Lies other people tell us, lies Satan tells us or lies in which he seeks our participation, lies we believe about ourselves, false judgments we make against others, and even lies (ungodly) beliefs we hold against God.

“Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me. I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon.” John 15:4-7 (The Message)

I don’t want to be burned up as deadwood. I want to be found fruitful. I want to be alive and full of His truth so I can be free from the lies and fiery arrows that are thrown at me. I don’t have to pull the arrows out. I don’t even have to deflect them!

You see when I have problems or relational difficulty I have an unhealthy (ungodly) belief that I must be the problem. I assume if something is wrong, it must be my fault. Satan has spent years ingraining this in my life through experience.

A few months ago when I was meditating on these truths I sensed God breathe into my heart, soul, mind and strength, “You are not the problem.” Not always and when I error I would rather error on the side of acting in faith than not acting/doing at all. “You are a helper. Your heart is set toward Jesus. All you have to do is look at My Son, speak the Truth and the arrows will not touch you. Jesus is always there to protect you. I love you. You are not your past. You are who Christ says you are—the daughter of the Most High God.”

The Lord even gave me three word pictures.

  1. He showed me Jesus in my heart, but with all the arrows coming at me I couldn’t feel Jesus, or at the moment, remember Jesus was there in my heart. I allowed the pain to take over. God reminded me that Jesus is always here to protect me. (This does not mean I will always understand the way He chooses to protect me.)
  2. God took me through a timeline from childhood and past to remind me that although these events, people and choices are a part of my past, they are not who I am in Christ—“It is not who you are.”
  3. He reminded me through scripture that He is on His throne. I was on the steps just below Him dressed like a Princess; dressed in His love. I realized I had been living like a peasant most of my life when all along I’ve been a Princess daughter of the Most High King.

I encourage you to spend time with the Lord each day. Read His word, go through a Bible study, and spend time in prayer. Pray scriptures back to God. God’s word is the main way He speaks to you so as He speaks to you—speak back to Him by responding to what He said to you.  Ask Him questions and wait on the answers; this is a discipline that comes with practice and time. Acknowledge false beliefs or judgments you have made over yourself or other people. Give God your hurts. Ask Him to reveal His truth to you.

In these moments I have found God to be tender and merciful. I have found Jesus to be the great physician who heals instantly, completely and permanently. Doesn’t that sound just like Him? Yes! I have also found the Holy Spirit to be the Great Comforter.

 “Jesus answered them, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.’” Luke 5:31 (NIV)

“Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,” Isaiah 53:4 (NIV)

 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

BELIEF SYSTEM(By: Anonymous)

If you accept a belief,
You reap a thought.

If you sow a thought,
You reap an attitude.

If you sow an attitude,
You reap an action.

If you sow an action,
You reap a habit.

If you sow a habit,
You reap a character.

If you sow a character,
You reap a destiny.


Sow God’s word; truth through prayer and Bible study.

Reap a personal relationship with God who loves you, and a mind more like Christ’s mind.

Get cross fit. Overcome the lies.

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Toxic Tuesday: 8 Signs Of A Toxic Relationship


Toxic relationships abound in our ever increasing narcissistic society. How is a person to know if their boyfriend or girlfriend has emotionally abusive tendencies or worse; a personality disorder?

If you are married and find you are in this type of relationship you will most likely need professional and spiritual help for navigating your path and setting healthy boundaries.

You may read past Toxic Tueday posts to learn what God’s word has to say about toxic relationships.

Recommended books: Boundaries in Marriage

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

8 Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

Originally posted on James Michael Sama:

This is a very difficult topic to discuss – because you’ve got to be sensitive to people’s feelings, but at the same time, give them a dose of reality.

It’s both disappointing and unfortunate to see how many abusive relationships are happening on a daily basis, and thought to be normal.


It’s important to note that you don’t need physical violence in order to have an abusive relationship. And don’t forget, both men and women can be guilty of this.

If you are made to feel any of the following ways or recognize any of the following things, then you truly need to take a step back, put your emotions aside, and ask yourself what your partner is truly bringing to your life.

- You always feel guilty, but don’t know why.

Is your partner always making you feel as though you did something wrong, but you genuinely can’t understand…

View original 636 more words

Tex-Mex Black Bean Salsa

Tex Mex Black Bean Salsa

My favorite time of year to eat this Black Bean Salsa is when I have fresh Roma tomatoes from my garden which usually places this salsa around the 4th of July. My daughter and I make this salsa throughout the year but tonight was the first batch with homegrown Romas.

My sister, one of the best cooks ever,  introduced me to this recipe years ago and I have since adapted it to my taste bud’s preferences. I like Roma tomatoes, Serrano peppers and lots of lime juice.


Fresh ingredients
Fresh ingredients
Black Beans and Shoe Peg Corn
Black Beans and Shoe Peg Corn
chopped veggies
Chopped Veggies
Serrano Peppers
Serrano Peppers

This Jalapeno Corer tool is one of my favorite kitchen gadgets. It works for any type of pepper and also cores the tops of tomatoes. My favorite use is for coring Jalapenos. Cut the tops offs and rotate the corer down inside the pepper to remove veins and seeds. This allows you to stuff the Jalapeno for baking, grilling or placing in a smoker. The Serranos above are small and need to be cut in half, then deveined and seeded one half at a time.

I ordered my Jalapeno Corer at I also ordered the Jalapeno Roasting Rack for use in the oven, on the grill or in a smoker.

Jalapeno Corer Tool
Jalapeno Corer Tool
Limes juiced
Juiced limes
Toss chopped veggies with lime juice, Canola oil, salt and garlic powder
Toss chopped veggies with lime juice, Canola oil, salt and garlic powder
Add tomatoes
Add tomatoes and mix

TEXMEX Recipes


Tex-Mex Black Bean Salsa

1 can black beans

1 can Shoe peg corn

1 bunch cilantro

½ Bell pepper—any color, chopped

1 small or medium purple onion, to taste, chopped

4 cups Roma tomatoes, chopped

2 Serrano peppers seeded and deveined, minced

Juice of 2 medium limes

1 T. Canola oil

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. garlic powder

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Drain and rinse beans and corn. Place in a large mixing bowl. Add cilantro, bell pepper, purple onion, Serrano peppers then mix in lime juice, Canola oil, salt and garlic powder. Add and mix chopped tomatoes. Serve immediately. Refrigerate left overs.

Serve with Restaurant style white corn tortilla chips or Tostidos Scoops.


5 (More) Things You Should Never Say to an Abuse Survivor

Toxic Tuesday biochem hazard


Today is an addition to Last week’s Toxic Tuesday 21 Things NOT to Say to an Abuse Survivor and Leadership Journal’s Lack of Discernment .

5 (More) Things You Should Never Say to a Victim were added at Tamara Rice’s blog, Hope Fully Known.

Tam is a lover of words and Jesus and family, though perhaps not in that order. She’s an editor, writer, a breast cancer survivor, and an advocate for mental health and for victims of sexual abuse.

Here are her five main points:

1. “If so-and-so had touched me, I’d have told someone right away.”

2. “My parents raised me to stand up to people.”

3. “Aren’t we called to love rapists and pedophiles too?”

4. “You’ll need to learn to talk about this if you want to help others.”

5. “But what about your abuser’s family? You’re hurting them by speaking up.”

Tamara clearly presents the love and logic for each of these five points at

Also take time to read thoughts, responses and added things you should never say to victims of sexual abuse written at the end of her post by readers who left comments.

I urge you to read up on this topic because statistics tell us 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys will suffer sexual abuse before the age of 18; even in the Christian community.  The church/body of Christ needs to acknowledge this truth, be sensitive to it, be real and be part of ministering to the victims.  We do not want to add toxic thoughts, attitudes, words or denials to an already hurting heart. We want to take part in a victim’s healing; not in reinjuring a deep hurt or scar.

“A church that embraces silence over truth is a magnet for those who exploit, abuse, and destroy.” G.R.A.C.E. Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment

“After the Last Tear Falls” By: Andrew Peterson

After the last tear falls, after the last secret’s told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves and the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that’s just too hard

There is love
Love, love, love
There is love
Love, love, love
There is love

After the last disgrace, after the last lie to save some face
After the last brutal jab from a poison tongue
After the last dirty politician, after the last meal down at the mission
After the last lonely night in prison

There is love
Love, love, love
There is love
Love, love, love
There is love

And in the end, the end is oceans and oceans of love and love again
We’ll see how the tears that have fallen
Were caught in the palms of the Giver of love and the Lover of all
And we’ll look back on these tears as old tales

‘Cause after the last plan fails, after the last siren wails
After the last young husband sails off to join the war
After the last, this marriage is over
After the last young girl’s innocence is stolen
After the last years of silence that won’t let a heart open

There is love
Love, love, love
There is love

And in the end, the end is oceans and oceans of love and love again
We’ll see how the tears that have fallen
Were caught in the palms of the Giver of love and the Lover of all
And we’ll look back on these tears as old tales

‘Cause after the last tear falls there is love

DIY Mini Utensil Set

Mini Utensil Sets


DIY Projects

Okay—it isn’t completely DIY. You won’t need your own foundry to forge the utensils but since you will not find a mini utensil set/holder/crock in the stores; I will show you how spectacularly charming, efficient and necessary this set is to the everyday functioning of your kitchen.

Several years ago for my birthday my mom gave me the red tea cup filled with multiple measuring spoons. I am a stay-at-home mom who usually cooks a homemade meal every night of the week; plus breakfast, lunch and quite a bit of baking. Mom knew I would love the splash of red in my kitchen (everyone needs a splash of red even if their kitchen isn’t red) and the extra measuring spoons are time saving because I don’t have to stop, wash, and rinse spoons in the middle of meal preparations. DSCN3335

I immediately added a variety of utensils to my cup and have used the set every day since; so have my kids. We whisk eggs, stir pancake batter, spread jams, measure,  scrape bowls and jars, flip small pancakes, bake cookies, remove hot items from the toaster oven, squeeze the last flavor from tea bags and much more. Our kitchen would not function well without the cup which sits on top of our toaster oven in a centralized location. I am all about function; pretty—decorative function!

The tea cups with the front tea bag pockets are difficult to find and Ebay has been my only success over the last few years. I like the pocket for the Smidgen/Pinch/Dash measuring spoons.

DSCN3337 DSCN3336

Here are my favorite places for finding miniature utensils. I order in quantity for future bridal showers and birthday gifts which saves on shipping costs. This is my favorite gift to give at Bridal Showers because it is almost guaranteed the bride does not have a mini utensil set.

You will need a short squatty type tea cup, soup mug, or creamer for the utensils to be visible and the side of the cup needs to go somewhat straight up; not curved out like a bowl or expensive China tea/coffee cup.

Honey Dipper

Honey Dippers: Best prices for multiples (6 inch)

These utensils can be found at

Mini Condiment Spoons
Mini Wooden Condiment Spoons







Measuring Spoons
Heart Measuring Spoons. Left: Expensive. Right: Inexpensive.









Mini Whisks. Left: Individual. Right: Set of 4

The below utensils can be found at Main Street Marketplace – This is a local store located on Main Street in historic St. Charles, Missouri. Best prices except for the heart spoons

Smidgen/Pinch/Dash Measuring Spoons
Smidgen/Pinch/Dash Measuring Spoons
Miniature Whisks – Left: Individually sold. Right: Set of 4
Mini Flipper/Turner
Honey Dipper
Mini Toaster Tongs
Mini Scoop
Dozens of Cheese Knives/Appetizer Spreaders
Mini Condiment Spoons: Curved Handle spoon only. The other 2 are from
Tomato Corer
Citrus Zester



Tea Bag Squeezer/Toaster Tongs